I’m planning on deactivating my facebook account for at least a week, because I don’t want to see how many more of my friends get engaged, but mostly so I don’t see all of the posts detailing all of the sweet things they and their SOs did together. *Sorry, feeling a rant coming on, so feel free not to read any further if you don’t want to be subjected to my immature rage…*
I know I’m not getting a proposal any time soon, and I’m alright with that. However, I know that *nothing* will happen tomorrow. Maybe it’s puerile and stupid and it’s just a greeting card holiday and blah blah blah…but when I met my boyfriend, he made himself out to be an old-fashioned romantic. He’s proved to about as romantic as a pair of wet socks. Okay, that’s exaggerating- he does do some sweet things on occasion.
But nice dinners out, romantic plans and surprises for our anniversary or Valentine’s? Never happens. This is how it will go: (and how it did on our anniversary) I will feel a little down prior to the event, because I know that nothing is going to happen. When he picks up on my concern, he acts like he has all sorts of little things planned, and doesn’t want to spoil them. In the end, he might do something small. Then it starts: ‘well, what do *you* want to do? Where do *you* want to go out to dinner?’ Nothing has been planned, no reservations made, no surprises hidden.
I’ve told him repeatedly, he doesn’t have to do anything. But if he wants to do something nice for me, I would like *him* to plan it for a change. When i have to make all the decisions, it just makes me feel bad. It makes me feel like he doesn’t really want to do anything with me, and I’m just dragging him through it.
I swear that when he does get around to deciding he wants to propose, I’ll have to buy the ring, tell him where, when, how and the exact words, put the ring in his hand, an then take it out of the box and put it on my finger myself.
I don’t need anything expensive and elaborate- just something to, as he said word for word the other day, show me how special and loved I am.
When he comes home tomorrow and asks me what I want to do, I am going to tell him that I want to bake a pan of brownies, eat the whole thing, drink an entire bottle of wine, and read really smutty fan fiction all night.
tl;dr: No, I am not looking forward to Valentine’s Day.