(Closed) Anyone not looking forward to valentines day?

posted 8 years ago in Waiting
Post # 32
Member
52 posts
Worker bee

@Jacqui90:  It drives me nuts! I am always the one planning special dinners, breakfasts, doing his share of the housework so we can have a relaxing evening together, dressing up nice for him.

Anyway, I was right about tonight. I told him he didn’t have to do anything so as to take any pressure off of him, and not make it seem as disappointing. He grumped about it, and said that he would cancel what he had planned. The big plan? To spend the night in, doing what we would be doing anyway. I don’t understand how one can ‘cancel’ that.

Oh well. I’m glad that I have him in my life, and I’m lucky to get to spend time with him, but part of me is a little sad that I don’t move him to do the incredibly thoughtful, sweet, out-of-the-ordinary things that my friends’ husbands do for them. *Sigh.* Just going grin and bear it. If we’re going to spend the same old night it, I’d just rather do something by myself that *I* want to do

Post # 33
Member
74 posts
Worker bee

For all the complaining I want to do about my SO today (and beleive me, there’s lots!) let’s all just spare a thought for my colleague who was dumped today.  By text message.  At work.  On a tuesday.  Which just happened to be valentines day.

I beleive I’m justified in using the word “pillock”

Post # 34
Member
9825 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2019

@Berkana:  yeah, wouldn’t it be nice if they did the planning for once? although my Fiance and I are having a redo of v day in a few weeks and each planning a mini-date so hopefully he will plan something beyond the norm. perhaps talk to your SO about your concerns? if he doesn’t think he needs to do anything, then spend the night doing what you want to do 🙂

 @ruby-glitters:  i am so sorry for your colleague, what an a**hole 🙁

Post # 35
Member
720 posts
Busy bee

I think the best way to deal with an unromantic SO is to straight up tell them.  When my SO and I started dating, he never held my car door open for me or pulled out my chair.  That might not seem like a big deal, but I was raised in a really traditional southern house and it bugged the crap out of me.  So for about a month I waited for him to pick up on my “hints” and he never did.  Finally I just said “hey, could you hold my door open and pull out my chair?”  Probably the most unromantic thing I could have done and it bugged me a little that I had to flat out say it, but he just apologized and started doing it.  He’d forget a few times and then I’d just stand outside the car waiting for him to open my door (lol).  After a week or so of that, now he does it every single time without fail and I never have to ask or wait for him to do it :).  So when your SO says stuff like “where do you want to go?” I’d just flat out tell them “you know, I’d really like it if you made the plans for Valentine’s/my birthday/Christmas etc.  And tell them in advance and don’t jump down their throat about it, just a reminder will usually do the trick.  It might take a few reminders (and they don’t always need to be verbal) but once you get them in the habit, they’ll start doing it on their own.  

Post # 36
Member
9825 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2019

@Dizbee:  yeah i have told him several times he needs to take the responsibility of planning every once in a while

Post # 37
Member
237 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

I never really hated Valentines Day until now. Now I officially hate it. And next year I’m not being so namby pamby about it…and we should be married by then. I’m sure he would not have gotten me anything if he hadn’t guessed I was getting him something. So he got me last minute gift at grocery store: 4 roses and a mini cake(and I’m DIETING and he knows this). He is not cheap as a rule and I’m not materialistic but I feel it is the thought behind the gift. Time spent or considering the person you are buying it for. I guess EFFORT sums it up. He does know some of my likes and dislikes and I feel he didn’t consider them at all. Perfume/lotions…silver jewelry….not expensive…he knows my preferences. Yet I wasn’t worth the time/effort.

Next year I’m flat our going to tell him not to bother if he just feels obligated to pick SOMETHING. I’m worth the effort to at least try to get me something along the lines of things I like? Yes, I am. And I know how extavagant the gifts he used to get his ex were….ROMANTIC getaways and massages. So I’m pretty hurt. I don’t expect extravagant…after the divorce he can’t. But he can at least try to do THOUGHTFUL? As in something I’ve mentioned I like a ton of times…or flat out told him I want. Yup…next year I’m telling him to be as romantic as he was with her. He only isn’t because he doesn’t worry about me being nasty like her. So much for being understanding and “nice”. Doesn’t mean I don’t have feelings or remember how he treated her like a queen.

I hate Valentines’ Day. Go ahead and roast me. I just needed to vent.

 

Post # 38
Member
9825 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2019

@halolover:  don’t feel bad, you DESERVE a wonderful and thoughtful gift for Valentine’s Day. definitely talk to him about it, he needs to know how much he upset you. 

Post # 39
Member
155 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I was VERY happy cuz I was with the one I love 😉

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