(Closed) Anyone not thrilled about your soon to be sister in laws?!

posted 7 years ago in Family
Post # 17
Member
11231 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

Ughghghghghghgh yes.

I love my FI’s half sister (she’s a bridesmaid), but his brother’s wife? Ugh. I’ve posted about her before, but basically she doesn’t give a fuck about FI’s family. I LOVE his family–everyone is very generous, warm, and loving. She was recently here for 4 months and saw Future Mother-In-Law a handful of times and Future Father-In-Law like once. She never lets anyone touch her son, and has physically pushed family members (FMIL and FI’s grandma) away from the kid. It makes me so irrationally angry that I can’t spend time around her, lest I punch her in her stupid ugly face. Whenever they’re here, they show up late (if at all, and never with a phone call), leave early, and spend the vast majority of their time at her parents’ house (literally ~5 minutes from FMIL). Everyone is angry at her, but, naturally, no one will say anything and everyone just makes excuses.

Post # 19
Member
6889 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

@Jlee28:  Yep I barely tolerate my SIL’s.  My brother’s wife basically made my brother not close to my parents and I anymore and drove a wedge between my brother and his daughter from a different relationship. 

My DH’s brothers wives: One is okay thought it helps she lives in another state so don’t see that family to often. The other one annoys the crap out of me. She was always the outspoken one in the family until I came into my DH’s life. I am not afraid to say my peace and that pisses her off because she is no longer the dominate Sister n law.  That and she did somethings that really pissed me off during the planning of mine and DH’s wedding and stole my thunder when our son was born….

Post # 20
Member
3829 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Ya i can give or take mine. I really dont have a problem with them, but i guess i had this vision of being close with my FSIL’s and thats not the case. Both are older, one i do like and i get along with. But she is also close with his ex and for whatever reason i feel like there is this barrier between us. This is slowly changing though, we are getting closer. The other just doesnt talk to me, or Fiance at all. So i barely know her after 5 years.  Honestly her Fiance is a douche so i think she deserves better than his cheating ass. 

Post # 21
Member
8439 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

I’m an only child, so I really want to like my Future Sister-In-Law (she’s the only sister I’ll ever have), but she doesn’t always make it easy.  She’s actually not coming to my wedding because she decided to get elective surgery four days before.  While I understand her logic for wanting the surgery, she constantly inconveniences my Fiance and his family whenever we want to get together (Christmas, Thanksgiving, etc).  When I do see her, she’s always chill with me and we get along, so I don’t think she singles me out or anything.  I’m still trying to like her, but sometimes it just feels like a losing battle.

Post # 23
Member
1926 posts
Buzzing bee

I was definitely worried about clashing with them at first (one of them is very Republican, very outwardly religious, very conservative, the other is a major party girl, while I’m focused on academics, atheist and liberal) but we get along fabulously and I adore them. I just wish they would leave me out of their family drama, I hate being Switzerland all the time. 

Post # 24
Member
752 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Yes. Unfortunately, I am very much not looking forward to marrying into his family :/

His family is generally very selfish, can’t care for themselves, and doesn’t think of others.

His sister is very sickly, has severe anxiety and panic attacks, and is very shy. She is a nice person, but is not someone I will ever have anything in common with. It’s difficult to talk to her when we are in a room together.

She was kind enough to watch our dogs for a night for us. Rather than staying in our guest room which is furnished with a bed, she helped herself to sleeping in our bed! Without asking! Because the other bed was uncomfortable!

We left her a gift card to order pizza with. She called us to let us know it didn’t work….wouldn’t you just fend for yourself and make something in the house instead of calling because you couldn’t order pizza (she’s 20)?

The mother is also very sickly. My bridal shower was yesterday and she (and his sis) arrived late, and his mom was very, very doped up on pain meds. She could barely hold her plate or carry a conversation. I just don’t know how to handle those types of situations and that is typically the state she is in…

Post # 25
Member
19 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2013

My Future Brother-In-Law just got engaged to a girl I’m not so thrilled with. He’s dated all over the place and of all of the girls he’s dated, she’s actually the best for him, so I’m trying to not complain too much. 

 

She’s very opinionated, outspoken, and spoiled because she comes from a very well-off family and her whole life has been paid for. I’m not sure how it’s going to work for them, because Future Brother-In-Law is just graduating with a degree in theatre and is pretty broke at the moment. No idea how he’s going to pay for her expensive taste, lol. 

 

I have to admit, she’s a friendly person, which makes her tolerable. But I’ve noticed lately that every conversation she’s involved in ends up about her. Exhausting. She’s also rude to my Fiance at times, which I don’t particularly appreciate. But the family seems to love her. Future Mother-In-Law is also a fairly dominate woman, so they seem to get along well…

 

On top of it, she wants to make wedding planning her career and the minute she heard I was engaged, she informed me that she would be planning my wedding and went on about it for almost an hour telling me what it should be like, what kind of food there would be, etc. That left a bad taste in my mouth, but fortunately she hasn’t pursued it much further.

 

What can I say, I’m just not looking forward to it. 😛 

 

If I were in your situation, I’d defintely voice my thoughts/concerns to my Fiance. At least let him know so he can be aware and maybe help you out of situations you’re uncomfortable with. Good luck!

 

Post # 26
Member
157 posts
Blushing bee

I could give or take my future sister in law. She’s not a horrible person she’s actually very nice and polite and friendly, but she is also the clear favourite of FI’s family and has been incredibly spoiled her whole life, especially by FI’s well off grandfather and as a result she can be bratty and entitled which can be really annoying. 

Post # 27
Member
7369 posts
Busy Beekeeper

I can so relate but I don’t go into detail here for privacy reasons. But I totally feel you pain. I just keep conversations very superfical and cordial. And dont get involved in any uncessary mess. That being said I’m no pushover. If I don’t like whats being said I would defintely speak up as @MexiPino: suggested.

 

 

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