Post # 1
Basically, I’m not especially close to my father, I don’t speak at all to my mother. and I’m also not comfortable with the concept of being “given away” so I’m currently thinking of alternative entrances. I’d love to hear from people who did something different from the norm.
A friend of mine who has a similar approach to being given away as me, started the ceremony at the front with the groom and when they were both in place guests came in. It was lovely really, but not me I don’t think.
I want to make an entrance because my fiancé is completely traditional and likes the idea of me walking down the aisle to him no matter how I choose to do it. Currently I’m think of doing something a bit quirky like have Darth Vader’s Imperial March playing as I walk down the aisle first, followed by my bridesmaids. I think it’ll get a giggle, put people at ease and take away the awkwardness of me not being walked in by my father, because it’s a talking point, I want to make me walking myself down the aisle intentional and not something that’s just circumstances and people should pity me for.
Post # 2
michelleh0686 : I walked myself down the aisle. It isn’t as uncommon as you think, and I didn’t feel judged or pitied at all. It was my moment. A lot of my friends did the same — not because they had no one, but because they wanted to be seen without focus on another person. The beautiful gown, the glow, the anticipation. It is a happy and empowering moment. You don’t need someone to walk you down the aisle and “give you away” – no one owns you, girl.
Post # 3
I walked solo! My bridesmaids went first, then me. It went very quickly. I wasn’t nervous at all and in the pics my face is just beaming lol
Post # 4
I walked down the aisle by myself. Both parents are deceased. My father passed two weeks after my engagement. I have uncles and a brother but didn’t feel like anyone could replace my father in that role. It was fine!
Post # 5
My niece who got married last October, walked in alone, with 2 flower girls first. Her dad is dead, she has a couple of uncles, and 3 brothers at the time (one has since died), but I just took it as her preference.
It had a sort of independent charm.
Post # 6
Both of my parents are gone, I walked myself down the aisle. I never really gave it much thought in terms of feeling weird.
However, unbeknownst to me, the officiant (hired by Dh) told the friend who was helping with the IPod, “No music!” WTF? So, though I was expecting to walk down the aisle to Canon in D, I was floating along to dead silence. I was absolutely livid.
My wedding before that one was a very hastily thrown together affair (and enormous mistake). An older friend escorted me down the aisle.
It just didn’t really matter, either way. I’m just still really pissed about the music. Almost eight years later.
Post # 7
We are walking down together. I don’t talk to my father so I don’t see the need to put someone else in that roll for a ceremony. No one is in that roll so that roll is empty for the wedding. I also think that giving the bride away is weird if she has been living on her own for awhile. Have you been paying my rent and groceries for the past 13 years? No? Then stfu about giving me away. Though if I did have a relationship with my dad I’d probably just go through with it. If a woman is 18 and still dependent when getting married then giving her away makes more sense. Anyone who decides to feel sad that you didn’t have that roll artificaially filled for the sake of apperance is the kind of negative person that you don’t need in your life.
Post # 8
impatient1 : It’s not a negative reaction I’m concerned about, it’s more the type of attention that it attracts. Well meaning people telling me how brave I am to do it by myself. Sympathetic elders going oh it’s such a shame you had to do that by yourself. The wedding isn’t about how I walk in a room or who walks in with me, it’s about the day I marry the man I love, so I don’t want attention on how I entered to be focused on what it was lacking, that isn’t what the day should be about. I’d rather do something a bit off kilter like the Darth Vader thing so people’s response is “ah that’s so Michelle” or “how funny was that entrance” rather than how brave I am for what is basically walking 20 feet across a room to my fiancé.
Post # 9
I did not have somone walk me down the aisle. I started at the altar with my husband. I simply greeted guests and walked towards the altar. We began at the designated time. My father is deceased. Im a grown woman, 40 (with a 13 year old), no one is “giving me a way”. I also find it awkard to walk down an aisle with every one staring. I dont like a lot of attention.
Post # 10
I walked by myself with regular music. It never once occurred to me that anyone would “talk” or feel bad for me or anything of the sort. I personally would feel that the Imperial March would be inappropriate (why would a bride be menacing?) and “costumey’, but YMMV.
Post # 11
Stride down the aisle like a boss. Have a cape that you can dramatically unclasp and throw aside when you reach the alter, like Gilderoy Lockhart at duelling club.
Post # 12
I walked down myself, dh met me half way and we walked up the last bit together.
i think you’re trying to over compensate for something that really isn’t a big deal. You want a traditional walk down the aisle for your fi, but Darth Vader isn’t exactly traditional.
Post # 13
echomomm : I’m a massive geek and not overly into sweet romance, I was never the type of girl to dream of their wedding day. It’s more me to do something less serious.
Post # 14
jellybellynelly : It’s a compromise, I’m walking because it’s traditional, and that’s what he wants, I’ll do it to something not traditional because that’s me. We’ve discussed it and that’s what we came to as our compromise.
Post # 15
hedwiginberlin : Ooh a cape I hadn’t thought about a cape! I’ve got to have a cape now!