(Closed) Anyone not want their DH in the room when giving birth?

posted 8 years ago in Babies
Post # 3
7693 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

I mean, I dont want my husband to see all the goods in their worst form, but I want him in the room for support. I plan to tell him to stay by my head and I don’t think he’ll have a problem with that!

Yes, most women do poop themselves (you are using the same muscles to push the baby) but I’ve heard the nurses dont even acknowledge it, they just clean it up right away and most of the time the woman doesnt even know its happened

ETA – he has only seen you without makeup once? How is that possible?! Do you put makeup on right when you wake up?

Post # 4
536 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2007

I always think that one of the greatest things about being married is being able to totally let your guard down with someone else and rely on them to love and take care of you no matter what. And while I certainly like to look nice as often as I can, I love the fact that Darling Husband can handle seeing me not only at my best, but at “I-have-the-flu-and-I-want-to-die” and “I-have-a-newborn-and-haven’t-showered-in-a-week” and that I don’t need to feel self-conscious or embarrassed about it.

As PitBullLover pointed out, it’s possible for him to be with you in the room and helping you through labor without being all up in your lady-business, if that’s what you prefer. He can certainly sit by your head and hold your hand and face you (i.e. face AWAY from the action). If he did that, he’d never know if you did something like poop on the table (it’s not like they announce it).

Have you talked to your SO about it? I know that a lot of guys really love the chance to be there for the birth of their children, and if he thinks he can handle it, I’d probably trust him on that. If you are genuinely ok with him NOT being there, I’d also let him know that there’s no pressure if he thinks he’d be more comfortable waiting outside for the main event.

Post # 5
13095 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

Darling Husband has joked that he’ll just wait out in the hallway and will come in when I am done!  But that isn’t happening ….

I have a feeling that Darling Husband will want to stay up by my head though.  And he won’t be able to see anything from there.

Although really, no husband is going to think anything of seeing you in labor and giving birth.  You are having his child!  What could be more amazing in his eyes than that?

Post # 6
2584 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I agree with PPs, a lot of guys choose to just stay up by your head, they don’t have to see anything else. My head is what’s going to need the comforting and support anyway, haha. (Though we’re far from that point in our lives.)

I’m wondering how he’s never seen you without makeup?? My Fiance has seen me in every crappy state possible, lol.

Post # 7
133 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

@PitBulLover: I heard this as well! Everybody’s scared of the poop, but the nurses supposedly scoop it out of the way super fast and act like nothing happened.

@USAandKSA: Your hubby loves you enough to make a baby with you! Seeing you laboring over that amazing baby should just cement that further.

Post # 8
6009 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

To be honest, I was in much worse shape during the first couple weeks after birth than I was during labor.  After birth, you’re bleeding all over the place, have leaking/seriously swollen breasts and cracked/bleeding nipples, uncomfortable and sore, and really emotional (i.e. crying at random points and getting upset for really stupid reasons).  During labor, I had an epidural, and slept for like 6 hours.  Even pushing was reasonably easy, just physically exhausting.  I also never pooped while pushing.  🙂  I was cleaned out long before I even got to the hospital, lol.

It’s different for everyone, but I do think it’s important to consider your partner’s views, as well.  Is your Fi ok with potentially not in being in the room while his child is born?

Post # 9
1733 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

When you are in labor the last thing you are thinking about is what you look like. I am so glad to have shared that moment with him.  All he ever talks about from the experiences is seeing his children for the first time and getting to cut the umbilical cords.  If you do not have him there he will be missing that first moment were you bond with your new baby, you are really robbing him of an incredible experience by not wanting him there.

Post # 10
271 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Serious? I would NEVER think of not having him their? And frankly if he wants to be there you can NOT deny him that. It’s the birth of his child..

Post # 11
5654 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2011

I think it’s whatever works best for you and what you’re most comfortable with… a very important factor in having a smooth birth b/c if you’re uncomfortable your body kinda halts it’s self and can stop…. ugh.

I’m on the other end where I want Darling Husband to “catch” our little one… if I could have a completely un-assisted birth I would. lol

Post # 12
3586 posts
Sugar bee

In the moment, you aren’t going to care how you look. My SO saw things before the emergency c/s, but he’s cool.lol There’s no way I would have NOT wanted him there,nor would he have NOT stayed for the birth of his daughter.

Post # 13
463 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

When Fiance and I have a baby, he has put in to stay at my head, encouraging me, and holding my hand.

I think it is a major issue that you have a problem with your SO not seeing you at your best.  You plan on spending a lifetime with you. You will get sick.  You might even get depressed. Life is a roller coaster.  You and your SO should be together for better or WORSE.  Even in the looks department. Looks fade real fast when you start talking about a lifetime.

Post # 14
6883 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

I just gave birth a week and a half ago. My husband was there with me the whole thing. And believe me he doesn’t handle all that stuff very well. So I was very surprised he handled it so well! 

He stayed up by my head and really didn’t see a whole lot. I am so glad he was there, he was my moral support considering I went 7 weeks early giving birth to our son.

I would let your husband be there, he will be great support!

Post # 15
827 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I don’t think I will want anyone in the room with me except my doctor and the nurses…  maybe I will change my mind when I’m actually pregnant.

Post # 16
1363 posts
Bumble bee

I would never want to deprive someone from seeing their child come into this world. Plus, I’d need his support, for sure.

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