(Closed) Anyone planning a long engagement?

posted 5 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
629 posts
Busy bee

We’re planning a fairly long engagement, but moreso because the venue we want is one of the most popular in the city, and for the summer months, has an 18-24 month wait time.

Post # 4
9648 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2019

We got engaged January last year and won’t be getting married until mid 2015. It could be pushed back depending on school and living situation, but it certainly won’t be sooner. So 3.5 year engagement minimum over here.

Post # 5
1599 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

We got engaged in January 2011 and will be married this September 2013, so our engagement will total 33 months. (this was after dating for 3 years).

We got A LOT of flack about this from people we thought were our friends, co-workers, and even strangers.

They insinuated that we were dragging our feet, not really committed, not ready to grow up (even though we will be 28 & 29), etc.


We are paying for the majority of the wedding oursevles. And after medical bills, imperfect past credit, both of us losing our jobs in the course of a year, his father’s death, my mom’s near death, and about a dozen other ridiculous circumstances, we knew we’d have to take it slow.

Honestly, I’m so glad we did.

Overall, it made things much easier. We had time to find new, better jobs, buy a house (last week!), and spread the wedding payments out so we weren’t cutting ourselves short, money, time, or sanity wise.

I think long engagements are totally fine and understandable. Although I don’t know why people need to inquire about/judge them as much as they do.

Just do what works for the two of you and try not to worry about what other people think.

If you had a short engagement, you’d hear snarky comments about shotgun weddings. So people are never happy no matter what you do.





















Post # 6
443 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I always wanted a long engagement in order to have more time to enjoy the experience… but now that I’m one year into my two-year engagement I am so over it haha. Just want to be married now πŸ™‚

That being said, our two-year engagement is a financially good idea, because it’s given us a lot more time to pay for things. I was able to get my dress early and pay it off in installments, and we won’t have to pay for the rings and honeymoon until later in the year.

Post # 7
3468 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

@Roma:  SO and I will probably only have a 1 year engagement (at most 2 due to grad school), but we are also waiting another year to get engaged so we don’t have to have a 2-3 year engagment. The good news is you’ll have lots of time to plan! πŸ™‚

Post # 8
2854 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

I told SO I want a minimum of 1.5 years for planning, but ideally I think I’d want more like 2.  I get stressed easily, and I think having more time to plan would be easier on me. Plus I don’t think we will truly start saving for the wedding until we are engaged, so the longer we are engaged, the more savings we’ll have. (we have savings, but none of it is marked for anything specific)

Post # 9
1010 posts
Bumble bee

I want a long engagement, but since our if-we-do-get-married-this-is-our-wedding-date day has already been set and we’re not engaged yet, I may not have one.  The date is March 2015, so if we got engaged right now we’d be looking at just under 2 years for engagement.  I’d love that.  But at with the current situation, that doesn’t seem at all likely, and I suspect we’ll be at 1 year or less (which is not at all awesome – I really wanted a longer engagement, because I don’t want to try to plan a wedding/book vendors on short notice, especially since the day we picked is doubtless going to be a popular one, since it has numerical significance).

Post # 10
3297 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013 - An amazing non-profit retreat

“Dated” for 5 years, got engaged in August 2011, and will be married this August. It was hard being engaged and not being able to plan, but I really do feel like everything is coming together as it should. I’ve been suprised to find that people are still really excited for our wedding, even though our engagement will be a week shy of two years. I had thought that no one would be interested, but that’s not the case at all. Do what works for you πŸ™‚

Post # 11
4606 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

When we get married we’ll have been engaged for 42 months. It wasn’t always planned that way, but it’s just how it happened. FH wanted one of us, or both, to be done with school before we got married. He was supposed to finish last year, but a lot of things happened, his mother passed away and we just decided to wait some more. Now that we pushed it back a bit, we’re both going to be done with school. Plus, I knew I needed plenty of time to plan. I’m very indecisive. 


But, time really does fly. 

Post # 12
1 posts
  • Wedding: October 2013

My fiance and I got engaged in early 2007 after two years of dating. We were still in college (halfway through our junior year) so we knew we didn’t want to get married right away. But, we knew we DID want to get married eventually. Being engaged was a symbol of our commitment to each other. We are finally getting married in October of this year. After graduation, money was tight, and we just couldn’t pay for a wedding. Throughout the years I sometimes wished we could “just get married already”, don’t get me wrong, but all in all we have just been enjoying being engaged!! We have been through a lot together over the years– getting two dogs, getting our own place together, starting careers and graduate school, had our share of arguments, etc) and we’ve only grown closer because of it. I don’t think we were ready to actually get married when we got engaged.. we were so young! We are certainly ready now. Enjoy being engaged, seriously! It’s a wonderful experience. Don’t rush into planning a wedding if you don’t want to. Everything happens when it’s supposed to.

Post # 13
150 posts
Blushing bee

We are looking at a two year engagement – I have zero issues with it πŸ™‚ weddings are so expensive it gives yuo that extra time to save!

Post # 14
363 posts
Helper bee

I want a long engagement πŸ™‚ it would be so nice to enjoy being engaged and preparing for a life together with your SO 

Post # 15
613 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

I’m reasonably sure that SO and I will be engaged at the end of July or in August, and our ideal wedding date is Nov next year – but this was before I decided to go to grad school! So I will most likely be a 2015 bride with an 18 month + engagement

Post # 16
1714 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2016

We’ve only been together for a year (and have NO plans of getting engaged soon!)
But the topic has come up (because of friends getting engaged etc). Both of us would definitely have a long engagement, I only want to get married after I finish my PhD (another 6 years or so from now). I do not want to think about engagement until we have both been together for at least two years AND lived together. 

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