(Closed) Anyone Planning without the proposal?

posted 7 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
1368 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

Cool πŸ˜€

I am budgeting for our wedding that’s going to be almost 2 years away, AND I don’t have a ring.

Post # 5
Member
493 posts
Helper bee

I was planning but I stopped. My SO took me ring shopping July and Sept of last year. I immediately went into planning and I will admit that it made the waiting easier. I want a Destination Wedding and we talked about it being in June this year (2011) and so I basically planned everything within a couple months. Made all the contacts, got quotes, picked colors, started a budget, guestlist, you name it. No deposits or contracts signed though. But I had all my ducks in a row so when the proposal came I would be ready. I even started on our wedding website. I just knew we would be engaged by the new year. NOT! SO lost his job right after Christmas and to top it all off he hadn’t saved or even thought about purchasing the ring. I was so hurt. So I say no planning until engagement. Browsing is good. Creating a folder or just ideas is ok. But I will never do that again. For you

@MrsNeutrino: your situation is a little different. I do understand why you are planning because you all are practically married. And like you said you’re just doing it backwards. I will say that even though I was so hurt and feel like all my work was in vain it really wasn’t. All of my ideas and my initial  planning will probably still be used. So I guess I did get a headstart I just hit a huge bump and hault in my excitement from planning at first. Even though SO and I have talked and he as agreed to propose “this year” (ugh I wish I had number of months though) so we can get married Spring/Summer of next year (we both agree that Spring is probably the best weather wise) and he fully understands now that it will take 6-12 months to plan. So I hope we make it work this time.

Post # 6
Member
40 posts
Newbee

My SO/FI and I have been browsing and getting ideas practically since we met. We began making more choices about 6 months ago and about 3 months ago I slowly started buying things for our centerpieces, corsages, etc. We decided last week to have an “engagement party” surprise wedding, which is allowing us the chance to plan everything on our own in private. I know he’s working on the ring, but I feel like the more I get accomplished now, the easier it will make it later. Thankfully, he remembers the stress of his sister’s wedding and agrees that the more we do now, and spread the cost out little by little, the easier it will be on us. We’re planning for October, ancitipating a proposal/ring by June. πŸ™‚ Best wishes to you!

Post # 7
Member
2018 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

@MrsNeutrino:  Me! I planned my whole wedding without a ring or proposal:)  We decided to get married in August 2010 and I didn’t get the ring and official proposal until October 31.  Got married December 30.  And if I were in your position, I would do the same.  It sounds like it’s a definite go.

I will admit, it did feel strange dress shopping with no ring.  But you know, not one person said anything about it.  Weird. Anyway, good luck and have fun:)

Post # 8
Member
2523 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

I’m “unofficially engaged” myself. Me and him live in different states because of the Army, but when I found out the day I’m done with school (August 2012), he told me to start planning a wedding for the next day! But…I don’t have a ring or an official proposal. I know it’s coming sometime in the next few months, but I will admit it’s a little awkward planning without a ring! When I went to a David’s Bridal, to manager on duty was so snobby…she had the audacity to ask me if I was really engaged or if I was just there to “play dress-up”! I was so embarassed. πŸ™

But otherwise, no one has said anything, but I’m still anxiously awaiting the real thing!

Post # 9
Member
1679 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

We visited vineyards together the summer before he proposed.  We went for wine tastings, but we always were scouting the location as a prospective wedding venue.

Now, the day he asked who I would have in my bridal party, I told him I dind’t want to talk in such detail until we were engaged.  It was too much of an emotional roller coaster.

He proposed the day after Thanksgiving.  Little did I know he had the ring at the end of July.  πŸ™‚

 

I wouldn’t sign any contact until it was offiical. @PrettySedity: ‘s story is all too possible.

Post # 10
Member
2018 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

@Torrid: I was fully expecting the same treatment but everyone was really discreet.  I guess I got lucky. But no one should make you feel less engaged because you don’t have the ring yet.  I mean, do they want a sale or not??

Post # 11
Member
2893 posts
Sugar bee

Honestly, I have no idea what all goes into a wedding but I know it’s quite the list. The thought of all that work and research and venturing into unknown territory intimidates me a little so I’m glad I’m not engaged for that reason. πŸ™‚ My SO has worked in catering and restaurants and banquets for his entire career so he knows the process like the back of his hand. Honestly, I’m hoping when the time comes he’ll take the lead on this. I just want to be married to him. The actual wedding isn’t as important to me as it is to him.

 

@MrsNeutrino: I don’t think you’re going at things backwards exactly. You have a unique situation. It’s just different. Not quite backwards. It’s pretty cool your guy is so on board with the whole process. Your wedding will be a breeze by the time it comes around. πŸ™‚

Post # 12
Member
2523 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

@PutABirdOnIt:In general, I haven’t had any problems. I mean, I’m self-conscious about it, but no one had said anything to me about “doubting” or whatever til that manager lady. I think she’s just one of those bitches that like to ruin people’s days. :/ I think I’ll just go to another David’s Bridal!

Post # 13
Member
2018 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

@Torrid: I would, for sure.  And I know what you mean about feeling just the tiniest bit self-conscious.  It didn’t seem “real” until I had the ring, even though it was.  Have fun planning and screw the biatch at that David’s. Their loss:)

Post # 14
Member
5883 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2010
  • Oct- started serious talking about us and marriage (together 10 mos)
  • Jan- decided we were going to get married so started buying magazines, wedding blogs and wedding show
  • Feb/Mar- knew what I wanted (color, theme, location, etc)
  • Begin of April- bought dress, deposit on venue
  • End of April- proposal
  • June-move in together
  • Oct- married

I started planning, even had deposits down and the dress arrived before he proposed. Not ideal and it felt weird, but he knew what I was doing and he was just being lazy about driving across town to actually buy the ring. (Argh!) But in the end, no big deal.

Post # 15
Member
2523 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

@KoiKove:That’s the only thing that I’m hoping he won’t do! I’m afraid he’ll wait til August to ask me. He knows I want at least a year a plan, and he’ll probably use up…every…single…day…until it’s August or the end of August.

Arrgglemuffins. >:[

Post # 16
Member
23 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I am planning without an engagement.  We have a date set for the wedding.  My boyfriend/future fiance feels very strongly about asking my father for his permission to marry me in person but he lives out of state.  We are planning a trip next month to visit so he can ask the question.  But in the meantime- I am working out lots of details.

The topic ‘Anyone Planning without the proposal?’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors