(Closed) Anyone put off having kids because of money?

posted 5 years ago in Money
Post # 3
Member
9139 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

Yes.  Daycare in our area is really expensive and it takes two people working in order to maintain a decent home.  We are putitng it off another year or two in hopes that I will make more money so FH can be a SAHF.  Our D Day (must start TTC by D Day regardless of finances) is in five years.

Post # 4
Member
960 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@Rachel631:  I would say to take a hard look at your expenses and really track the % of your income you’re spending on things. I use Gail Vax-Oxlade’s spreadsheet as a base and then build my budget from that.

 

Using one like her’s will help you see if you need to increase your income or decrease your expenses, are your expenses in line % wise and you just can’t make it work? Or are you over spending on housing or cars or debt?

 

Here is hers that you can look at online and at the bottom is the “download excel version”

http://www.gailvazoxlade.com/resources/interactive_budget_worksheet.html

 

I’ve used it myself and used it to assist my sister when she looked into homes vs her current debt

Post # 5
Member
1293 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2018

@Rachel631:  Child care is really expensive, but in our situation it is still cheaper than me staying home. For us, two incomes are necessary to maintain our quality of life, and also to provide the kind of life we want for our children. We haven’t had kids yet, but it isn’t because of money – it’s because I don’t want to put my career on hold yet.

In a perfect world, I’d love to be home with my babies. But the world isn’t perfect and professional women often suffer when they take 5+ years off to be home with kids – breaking back into industry at a decent level of pay isn’t easy. In the end, I didn’t get multiple degrees to be at home all day. I would think you’d have to make less than $40,000 to have daycare cost more than staying at home would.

To disclose, I am 25.

Post # 6
Member
1189 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

@Rachel631:  As someone with children, I would not advise having kids you can’t comfortably afford.  There are enough stresses with raising children (health scares, discipline issues, day to day worries) that adding money on top of that simply is not necessary.  

I’m a stay at home parent.  I’m not really sure if I went out and worked if it would cover daycare, I’ve never looked into it.  We decided from the get go that I would stay home since we’re fortunate that my husband has an excellent job that affords us what we need and want.  

I don’t think you have to have some magic number in your bank account or be flush with cash to have kids.  I do think you need to be able to EASILY afford food, clothing, shelter, education, daycare (if necessary), and still be able to take care of the random stuff life throws at you, like broken refrigerators or needing breaks on the car.  Otherwise, you’ll turn into a bitter mess constantly worrying about how you’re going to pay for things.  

Post # 7
Member
855 posts
Busy bee

I guess it depends on the ‘quality of life’ you’re after and how much you want to work.

I will absolutely be a stay at home mother. When Jack was at university working 1 day a week, and I worked full time, we just about got by.

We both earn £25k/£30k+ each now, and it’s AMAZING but if i’m honest, all of that extra cash is going into our wedding/honeymoon pot.

If I were to fall pregnant now, it would not be ideal, but we could definitely get by. We wouldn’t be able to go out, or do nice things, but we could live. And we could stay in our current home.

Unless you’re incredibly blessed, it’s always going to be a bit of a struggle. You get accustomed to a 2-earner household and want to keep to that standard of living.

I guess for me, my career isn’t that important. Jack’s the one with the good job now and as long as he can put food on the table and pay the rent, then I don’t mind losing my job over it.

Also, in the UK children get 15 hours free childcare at age 3-4 so if I wanted to I’d be able to go and work part-time then!

Post # 9
Member
960 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@Rachel631:  Could you operate a home daycare to bring in extra $? Take on one extra child and then you could charge even 6-7k a year for it?

 

Theres a few specifics here that you have to follow but many parents find this an “easy” way to earn while at home. And it would only need to last until the child is in school, and after that you could go back to work, or take on additional children.

Post # 10
Member
1497 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Your fiance is right. There is no “good” time to have kids, because there is always more you can do, save, wait for…

Take a look at your expenses and see where you can cut things. Everyone can cut corners somewhere. I know a lot of people who make very little money and are still able to take care of multiple kids, without any assistance, by frugal living. And no one feels like they are lacking anything. The kids are happy.

The only thing that I would caution against is having a child without health insurance. But pretty soon that won’t be such an issue for most people.

Post # 11
Member
53 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

We’re waiting until we pay off our debt and have started saving for a house downpayment.

Post # 13
Member
11747 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

we have put it off for now since Darling Husband got laid off. As soon as he gets a job though, we’re going for it. One thing I have heard and read over and over again is if you wait until you have enough $, you’ll never do it since you’ll never feel you have enough!  People some how find a way to make it work! Good luck!  

Post # 14
Member
1293 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2018

@Rachel631:  Do you have the option to work from home? I work from home at least 2 days per week. I feel this will be a good solution when we have kids. If I balance me being home (and still getting paid, even if I have to work partway through the night), with Fiance taking one day off, and my parents helping out…I think it may be doable without daycare.

It’s hard to swallow that I will be paying someone else to raise my kids. They will be spending more time with my babies than I will, so of course they will have a strong influence on them. I don’t want to do it, but I am not willing to give up my income (to disclose, Fiance and I both make over $100,000 in additon to income from our rental properties…we are comfortable with this lifestyle and don’t want it to change). I want to be there for my kids, but I also don’t want to be poor. I want to have a nice house and cottage, take family vacations, let them join sports, etc.

It’s hard and there is no right answer. It’s different for every couple and how they are comfortable living.

Post # 15
Member
1189 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

To me, easily means you have enough for the necessities of life, enough to save for a rainy day, enough to deal with “life” crap that comes up, and still have something for yourselves.  I couldn’t imagine going back to the days of ramen noodles and never going out with children.  Especially as they get older.  My three and four year old want to go go go.  I’d just not want to be in the position where I’d have to say “No, we can’t go to the museum this week, we can’t afford it.”  But my comfort level might be different from yours.  I think you have to decide what you guys can live with.  

We live a very comfortable lifestyle.  I would not have wanted children at this point if we didn’t (I’m 32 and pregnant with our third).  But that’s me.  My sister and her husband have a son and live on much much less than we do and rely on hand me downs and never go out if it costs money but they’re happy like that.  But I also have friends who live like that who hate their lives some days because of money stress.

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