(Closed) Anyone put off having kids because of money?

posted 8 years ago in Money
Post # 32
Member
2073 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

We are waiting a few years. My husband will be changing careers and we will be moving cross country because housing prices are outrageous in Southern California. I’m almost 30 and husband is 36. It will probably be about 2-3 years. With moving, his medical retirement payments, and his new career, I will be able to quit my job too stay home. If we stayed in California, we’d probably never be able to have kids and a house on one income. It’s just too expensive. 

Post # 33
Member
2324 posts
Buzzing bee

Being emotionally stable is more important than being financially stable.. i agree.

The only reason we have holing ttc is becuase we want to get married & have a honeymoon we deserve. At that stage we will not be in the best financial position, but to be honet, the more we have the more we want. So we will be jumping in!

Very interesting thread.

Post # 34
Member
514 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@Rachel631:  We are getting married in two months and will probably wait 3-4 years before we start trying. Honestly I would probably like to have kids sooner, but we are just graduating (I am 23 and he is almost 24) so we don’t know what our finances are going to be. I don’t want to have kids until I can afford them and honestly if childcare ends up being almost what I make, i’ll probably have to quit my job. I guess ill just have to see in a few years 🙂

Post # 35
Member
1668 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014 - Church

I am actually having a difficult time with this right now. I would like to start having kids in two years (I will be 30 by then) because my family has a history of really really hard pregnancies after the age of 30 and increased risk of various illnesses and such for children. That and we would be debt free, for the most part, by then if we continue to work with our current finances. However, my SO is looking at going back to school a year from September (we are currently still paying off debt) which means he would be working part time (we won’t even be debt free by then, which is what I want before he goes back – but that’s another story). I know that we could in no uncertain circumstances be able to afford him going back to school while working part time and me being on mat leave (my employment agreement doesn’t even cover mat leave and I think EI would be around 14k for the year as it is apparently 55% of the EI insurable earnings). The amount between the two of us would actually be less than when I was working part time while attending school and him part time. Not to mention that going back would mean another 40k in debt without the means of paying it down even if we weren’t to have kids during that time because of what he insists for work… Cost of daycare is very high and I don’t want to automatically think that family will be there all the time to help out. This is definitely a topic of contention right now. Sorry for the mini grumble.

Post # 36
Member
10635 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2011

It’s a contributing factor that’s causing us to lean towards not having kids.

Post # 37
Member
2777 posts
Sugar bee

View original reply
@Rachel631:  in the US people have babies much younger then that. I had my daughter (oops) at 20 but most of my friends had planned pregnancies in their early twenties. Several of my friends 22/23 are TTC currently

Post # 38
Member
491 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

I’m in a sort of “now or never” situation, if that time hasn’t already passed. 

We both make decent money, and debts are low except for the new mortgage on a small condo. We’re still spinning our wheels. Children seem to be only for the privileged anymore :/ 

It looks like it will be never for us. I couldn’t have expected that in my wildest dreams. 

 

I just don’t understand how people are expected to make it work anymore. It isn’t a matter of standard of living or quality of life, the money just isn’t there, the support doesn’t exist, the shitty wages are rampant. 

 

 

 

Post # 39
Member
2214 posts
Buzzing bee

I want to wait to have kids until our student loans are paid off (I will be 34, he will be 39), but he wants to have our first kid by the time he is 35. I have a feeling that we’re going to split the difference, but I also think he doesn’t realize how expensive child care is. Once we sit down and crunch numbers, I don’t think he’ll mind pushing back his timeline a few years. I’m also too much of a planner to throw caution to the wind and say “oh well, we’ll figure it out.” I think I’d die of stress. I think I’ll be comfortable trying we can afford all our bills, put away at least 15% of our income to retirement (I’d prefer 20%), have emergency savings, be able to start college funds, and pay for childcare. Once we pay off our student loans, I have no doubt that we’ll be able to meet those goals, but something would have to give before then, which stresses me out.

Post # 40
Member
709 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I have two kids and make a little above minimum wage. I work at a daycare so I’m lucky enough to get a discount on my Childcare for my daughter. The majority of my sons daycare is paid by his father. I am with my Fiance so we have his $950 a month from vet disability and currently he just went on unemployment. We have cable and Internet, phone bills we pay ourselves and we both own our vehicles and have insurance on them. We go out and do activities and I still put a few hundred away in savings every month. I never worry about paying bills on time or really asters about money. We will be waiting to have a baby until I’m done with school and in a better career. Is it ideal? No. Does it work for us? Yes. 

ETA: I did by chance become pregnant now, I would actually be lucky with my current job. I’m the infant teacher so I’d get to bring baby for a discounted rate and be able to breast feed whenever. I would get maternity leave and be able to still hang out with my baby. Lol.

Post # 41
Member
137 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I didn’t read the whole thread yet but yeeeeeeeeeeeeees!

 

We want to at least have our student loans paid off and some savings before TTC. 

 

Post # 42
Member
1798 posts
Buzzing bee

I always imagined that I would get married and have children very young in life, but now I am working as a nanny part time while I am in school, and I have changed my mind on that. I make $150/week for working 10 hours MAX per week. I get paid the same amount regardless of whether I have a day off because school is closed or what have you. The family I work for has two children. I only watch the older one after school while the baby is in daycare full time. That is $600/month on top of a NICE full time daycare which is probably close to $2,000/month at least, and they still have the older daughter enrolled in daycare sometimes for when she has off of school, and I am not available to watch her all day.

 

I have worked for many families in my school’s area that are making a lot of money, and obviously I see what they are paying for childcare. Just working with these families I know that they can obviously afford the best for their children. This is part of the reason why I have decided to wait to have kids. These parents are able to send their children to great private schools and pay for ballet or music lessons if they want. Growing up we had everything we needed, but you could definitely see the sad look in my mom’s eyes when one of us asked to join a club that cost money. The only thing I’ve noticed is that the children that I nanny for are definitely spoiled, and they act like they are entitled to anything that they want. I’m not passing judgment about anyone who grows up with a lot of money, but they act in ways that I would never have imagined growing up! I also think the older parents that I work for sometimes forget what it was like to be a child. The family I work for has a policy where during the week the little girl basically just has to go to school, do homework and then play “learning games” after that. They have all of these reading and math games that she HATES. 

Post # 44
Member
3051 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

Money is a factor that contributed towards my decision not to have kids at all. I used to think I wanted to be a mom but as I’ve grown up, I’ve realized I just don’t. A big part of that is lack of money but I can say honestly that if I was a millionaire, I still don’t know that I would have a baby. Probably not.

Post # 45
Member
2587 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2014 - UK

@Rachel631:  I’m not so worried about the monetary aspect of it right now (financially there’s no chance we’ll be ready for another few years anyway), it’s the completely life-changing mega-responsibility aspect of it that’s wigging me out.

I’d just always assumed kids were part of the plan, but now that future is getting closer I’m getting mega-wigged.

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