Ack… buut you have so much time in your early 20s! The crunch comes when you are 30+ and still worried about money. You probably don’t feel like you have time, but I’m only a few years older and I still think you have soooo much time!
No, I get it. I wanted to hear from bees in a similar situation. Plus you’re a similar age to me, so I can understand the frustration when you think about the big old medical recommendation to have kids by 35 looming in front of your face!
There’s a big divide here. People who are poorer and less well educated often have kids young, but there’s such a (middle class) cachet associated with having your own house before you have children, and they are ******* expensive here. Average age of marriage is now 30 here, like I said. A few years ago, there was also a huge health campaign to encourage (middle class) women to at least have their first birth by 35, telling you about the health risks associated with later in life pregnancies. But after the economic crisis then the rules were rewritten… some (usually older) women got laid off and just decided to throw caution to the wind and have children, because life is uncertain and it’s now or never. Others, especially younger ones, ended up stuck graduating into a recession and not being able to get a job at all… so they put off everything. I read one letter in a magazine from a lady who said she was now 32 and has only just managed to get a graduate job and move out from her parents’ house. I’m in a much better situation, but I feel for her. I know what it’s like to be promised this whole life if only you get good grades and work hard, and then to just see it evaporate in front of you due to the global financial crisis, and shortage of graduate level entry jobs.
This is my fear. If you wait… then what? At least previous generations could have relied on their relatives for childcare, but nowadays then people move so much for work. There’s just no support, like you say. Fiance and I are lucky that his Mum works PT and lives within a 40 minute car ride, so she could help. We also joke about moving in my cousin and his missus to help us with ths kids. He’s a semi-employed musician who sleeps all day and smokes a lot of pot, but he’s a very caring person and he’s not very demanding or difficult (just very messy). We are actually at least 50% serious when we say that we should suggest this to him!
This is the advantage of working in your profession. If I was a teacher or something, I wouldn’t be worried, because you can take career breaks and the return, but also because you get all sorts of benefits. Sadly, I’m not in such a sympathetic profession!
But, you know… some people will never have what your employers have. I will never have that. I know this. And very few people are that advantaged growing up. I’m not encouraging people not to get their finances in order… that was what my initial question was about… but if we all wait to be like your employer, we will be waiting for an awfully long time. I certainly will, anyway!