Post # 1
So from the start SO and I were pretty sure we didn’t want any of the pre wedding festivities (bachelor party, bridal shower, etc) because we’re both socially anxious, awkward, and have difficult families. Told Future Sister-In-Law 1 who I’m closer with, but she texted me today again asking if I was sure because Future Sister-In-Law 2 was asking (shes more traditional etiquette wise and I think is wanting to plan and figure out details) My gut reaction was to politely decline again, but then I started wondering if down the line its going to feel like missing out? My suggestion to SO was that it would be nice to have a Jack n Jill type get together, but I’m not sure if thats weird? Anyone out there who initially declined a shower for anxiety and later regretted? Or anyone who had a positive alternate idea?
Post # 2
- Wedding: August 2017 - Combermere Abbey
I had my bridal shower yesterday. I didn’t really know what to expect because it’s not common in the Uk and I can also be quite shy but it was really lovely. A room full of women celebrating YOU 🙂 how can that be a bad thing? I did find it awkward opening presents in front of them and having to be overly grateful for each one but that was the only awkward thing.
Post # 3
My thought is there’s a bigger chance you will regret not having one than having one
Post # 4
Maybe you could do something “shower” like without having a big party. If FSIL’s would want to throw one then you could do something like a Champagne Brunch, or High Tea, Spa appointment? Anything like a sit down lunch thing would have fewer numbers and wouldn’t be so YOU focused so might have less anxiety. It could be as low key as you would want without you feeling that you missed out on anything.
Post # 5
- Wedding: April 2017 - City, State
We skipped all pre-wedding parties (shower, bachelor(ette) parties) and neither of us have any regrets. For us it was a matter of eliminating an unnecessary source of stress and fewer things to plan.
We also just weren’t interested in that kind of stuff. One event was enough for us.
Post # 6
I didn’t have a shower and do not regret it in the slightest. Darling Husband and I had lived together for over 3 years by the time we got married – our family and friends bought us lovely housewarming gifts when we first bought our home, and we had everything we needed so it felt kind of redundant to have a shower. I told my bridesmaids from the get go that I didn’t want a shower.
I did have a bachelorette party, however, and that was a lot of fun. I think I would’ve been just as happy not having one but it was nice to celebrate with all my girlfriends.
Post # 7
I did not have a bridal shower and even though I only got married last month, I haven’t felt any regrets about it either. I also didn’t have one for anxiety purposes.
Post # 8
I skipped it. Zero regrets.
Post # 9
I politely declined offers for showers for me and my friends still found ways to give me new undies the night before the wedding. I don’t regret not having it but I didn’t want my friends buying my presents and it happened anyway.
Post # 10
I didn’t have a shower and I do not regret it.
Post # 11
I posted this maybe two months ago and I’m sooooo glad I did! You can read my posts on it if you want. If I didn’t have one I never would have known (well fully known) how amazing and thoughtful and giving they are. Well, I KNEW they were amazing, I just never expected people to come together like that for me.
It was was a very, very special day for me and I’m so glad I didn’t turn it down.
Post # 12
anikaof9 : thats kind of what I’ve been thinking, honestly if it was just my partner’s family i think thats what I would do in a heartbeat.
Thanks for the responses everyone, its nice to hear various experiences. I’ll be seeing Future Sister-In-Law 1 and Future Mother-In-Law (who apaprently was also offering to host with Future Sister-In-Law2) this weekend so maybe they’ll have some words of wisdom too
Post # 13
I hate being the center of attention and I’m not a social person. I had a small shower (14 women total) and I’m really happy I did. I was very nervous about it, but it went well, and I’m happy I had the experience. I think if I had skipped it, I would have always wondered if I had missed out on something.
You just have to decide if it’s something you think you’ll feel bad about skipping or not. Try not to let nerves get the best of you though. You can tell the hosts to keep it very small, and that should help a ton!
Post # 14
I also have bad anxiety, opted out of all pre-wedding festivities, and am having a small 30 person wedding next week.
Post # 15
I think its a really special experience. If your Future Sister-In-Law is offering you should let her IMO. I dont think its your place to suggest a coed shower… if she wanted to throw you one of those she would have offered!