Post # 31
My Fiance wanted a big wedding, his brother, sister and best friend had big weddings so he just assumed that’s how weddings are (men really are clueless about these things).
I never wanted a big wedding and would be happy eloping just the two of us. It wasn’t until I showed my Fiance the numbers that he realized how much money these big weddings were!!
Now we’re having an intimate morning ceremony and brunch with 36 of our immediate family and friends.
Had I given in to my Fiance (and our families) and had a big wedding, I think I would’ve regretted it.
Post # 32
I got married in 2009 and I’m now divorced, and likely getting engaged again soon. This time around I’m cutting out as much as possible to streamline. I really don’t want a bridal party–my closest friends and family are going to be there regardless, why do I need to make them wear matching outfits and ride in a limo? I want a basic civil ceremony (first one was a big Catholic wedding) and a small cocktail reception and no big sit down dinner. I just want to marry my man and have a big party afterward. I don’t remember half of the things that stressed me out and I doubt anyone else remembers whether or not I had chair covers or what my center pieces looked like. It’s all so ridiculous. Unfortunately it took a $20,000 first try to realize it!
Post # 33
submart: I kind of do. Don’t get me wrong we really enjoyed our wedding but looking back…. wish we would have saved all that money. We could have had a longer honeymoon or we could have still had that money put aside. Also wish we could have just had our closest families and friends. But it’s done and we still have those memories:-)
Post # 34
I regret it. Just not a good day. I am thrilled that we ended up married and we are over the moon with each other, but that mission could have still been accomplished at a fraction of the cost and headaches. Could have taken all that money and eloped during an awesome vacation. Sigh.
Post # 35
Nope. I knew what I wanted and didn’t go crazy. It’s sad that some people do end up regretting their weddings.
Post # 36
Nope. We’ve only spent 5k and my only splurge is my dress. I do regret spending so much on my dress but I hope to put it on consignment and recoup some of the cost.
Post # 37
- Wedding: July 2016 - Backyard
vintagekitten: Post wedding blues is fairly common from my understanding, especially for long engagements and/or big formal weddings. Think about it, for a year + you get to plan a grand event and then when you blink your eye, it is all over.
Society is partly to blame for this. They push weddings as the best and most important day of our lives. As girls we grew up watching wedding movies and secretly thinking about our big day and groom to be.
Weddings should be special as it is an important day, but there is a lot of pressure on our wedding day. We’re supposed to look perfect (no zits, tan lines, belly fat, etc.), feel perfect (i.e. not tired, not have menstural cramps, not be on our period, not have a headache, etc), and be very happy (i.e. not anxious, stressed, annoyed, etc.) Forget about family tensions, recent deaths of loved ones, busy work/school schedules, not having or wanting to spend a ton of money, etc.
I could go on about this forever, but anyway you’re feelings are justified. They will slowly fade away.
Post # 38
submart: Yes to all three! I wanted to elope because I am incredibly detail oriented and knew that I would go crazy/overboard wedding planning…which I did. Darling Husband wanted the big wedding because we were the first kids and grandkids to be married on all sides. After seeing how crazy I got, about 3 months before the wedding he said he wished we had just eloped like I wanted originally >.<
Go with your gut! The stress and extra money spent were not worth it to me/us in the end, though it was a beautiful day and mostly worked out like we planned
Post # 39
submart: Regret is a strong word but… I do think I planned *his* dream wedding instead of mine. We have large families, plus we both have immigrant paretns so we have international family. And once you ask someone to fly over an ocean for your wedding, you do feel obligated to show them a good time.
In the begining I pushed for a formal elopment (paretns and siblings only) followed by a nice restaraunt afterward. But, no, Darling Husband wanted the big party with 100++ people, so I planned it. And our wedding was “cheap” by wedding standards, but it was still expensive, and it drained our savings. I don’t want to sound ungrateful, I know that several people would love to have a wedding like the one I had. And our wedding *was* really lovely! But personally all I wanted was a dress and a photographer – I never needed guests, or a big “event”.
On the flip side – I think the honeymoon was worth EVERY PENNY! I would happily go on a honeymoon every year for as long as I live.
Post # 40
A friend of mine said she regretted spending the extra money for Chivari chairs, bothering to make favors since most were left behind, and inviting people she doesn’t even see or talk to (like distant relatives etc).
Post # 41
No, but because we were firm from the get go on:
1) Controlling the guest list – telling all parents: NO friends with exception of 1 “auntie” I grew up with, none of my SIL’s family I see on holidays, no kids
2) No bridal party
3) No father/daughter and son/mother dance
4) No bouquet toss or garter
It helped that we are got married a good 5-6 years after most friends and people have toddlers now. I learned from friends they had regretted spending as much. We spent a good amount, but maybe $10-$15k less than our circle of friends have done. We also bought a house a year before so able to check that off our list beforehand. Trying to cut out the above things helped us to focus on what we wanted was having good food, good DJ, and open bar. Only drama was some cultural traditions we did the day before the wedding. Don’t regret it, but like others have said, not something I’d gladly do again soon. Our weekends are FREE now 🙂