- 9 years ago
- Wedding: August 2012
Let me preface this by saying that I’ve spent my life trying to gain my parents’ approval (psychological issues in and of themselves but that’s a different story…) so that makes this particularly painful.
My parents are really old-fashioned – they believe that women should be home with children and men should be making more than enough to support this lifestyle (not to put Bees down that are in relationships like this, I just don’t agree with the mindset that this is the only acceptable way).
Both my siblings are in relationships like this and my parents could not be more thrilled. Fiance, on the other hand, will never earn enough to support that. I, unlike sister and SIL, am in school and am very ambitious and at this point, have no desire to give up my career to stay home with future kids.
This kills my parents. They haven’t said anything straight out but they make snarky/passive aggressive comments to me when he’s not around. For example, Fiance is going on vacation with his friends in a few months, and my parents cannot stop talking about how its so unfair that I work so hard and he’s off spending so much money (a. he works hard too! b. it’s a pretty inexpensive vacation) Most importantly, at this point in our lives, Fiance is making enough to support both of us while I’m in school and still put some into savings.
I believe, like most other Bees, that my Fiance is the most wonderful, smart, funny, sensitive, caring <insert positive attribute here> man in the world. He suspects that my parents don’t like him but I feel the need to continually assure him that that’s just their personalities.
This is so painful. FI’s family loves me, for what it’s worth. It’s so painful that mine are not happy for me. It just hurts all of the time. I never want to go home, let alone bring Fiance with me. I feel like they’re constantly judging everything Fiance says and does. When Fiance comes over, he’s nothing but sweet and kind and constantly helpful. Watching him, just being himself, makes me fall in love with him all over again 🙂
Anyone been in this situation or have advice to make my heart stop aching?