Anyone trying for 10+ months success stories?

posted 5 months ago in TTC
Post # 2
Member
6257 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: July 2016

my parents tried for just over three years before conceiving my little brother naturally. 

Post # 4
Member
300 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2016

zoey0317 :  Following. In a very similar situation. If I don’t get my bfp this cycle we will be on to cycle 10. What’s strange to me is that feeling hope (or lack thereof) is not linear. Some cycles are better than others and I’m still learning how to roll with it. I recently read “The Impatient Woman’s Guide to Getting Pregnant” and she has some wonderful advice about coping/not ripping people’s heads off when they tell you to “relax & it’ll happen.” lol Can’t recommend enough. 

Post # 6
Member
2897 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

We conceived naturally after 15 months (although I think it was like cycle 16 or 17 since mine are short-ish).

I would love to tell you I was able to stay sane and positive, but that is a big fat lie. I had a really hard time with it. We did do testing, and found nothing. I was supposed to get a lap in September to rule out endo because I refused to accept “unexplained infertility”, and then we got our BFP in July. 

Find a support group. Whether it’s online here, or through RESOLVE, or a counsellor…my biggest advice is to reach out to women who have been through it, or who are going through it, and who will “get” your feelings. Because until you’ve walked this road, you can sympathize, but you really don’t get it. i’m sorry the person you reached out to wasn’t receptive…but try to keep looking.

And fuck people. You do not need to relax.

Post # 9
Member
2897 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

zoey0317 :  RESOLVE is the National Infertility Association. They have tons of online groups/chats etc, and if you’re in the US there’s even meetings….if you’re comfortable.

In the case of your friend, I can absolutely understand how that was probably gut-wrenching. And of course she doesn’t know/isn’t trying to be an asshole, but ugh. It shows you how thoughtless people can be (and for me, how thoughtless I had probably been to people, without even realizing it….so many off-handed ‘when are you having babies?!’ comments I wish I could take back!).

I wish you luck, and don’t feel like you have to be strong if you don’t always feel that way. It’s SO understandable to have a hard time with this….have your breakdowns and your bad days….it’s ok to let it out. You aren’t alone, you don’t have to do this alone.

Post # 10
Member
300 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2016

zoey0317 :  My heart goes out to you bee! Though I do not suffer from depression now, I really wrestled with it in my early 20s. Anxiety can be absolutely debilitating and I still struggle with it from time to time, though usually retroactively (so I understand stressing when things are quiet). Things will be well & good but I will randomly have panic attacks about something that happened a week ago. I seriously cannot recommend this book enough for you. She covers the effects of stress/depression/different medications on fetility and she really gave me a renewed sense of calm and hope. Hope she can do the same for you. FX for you! 

Post # 11
Member
6257 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: July 2016

zoey0317 :  mine is 23, and i have no idea.. my mom says she “obsessed” over it for a while before giving up and then she got pregnant.  But my dad claims they were NTNP for the first year and a half so they were only “trying” for a year.. both try to minimize it in different ways, is what I’m saying.

Both of them recommend “just relaxing” (*rolls eyes*) so I assume that no, they didn’t see anyone.

Post # 13
Member
277 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

I got pregnant our very first cycle trying and lost that to miscarriage. It took me another 10 cycles to get pregnant (11 weeks now). We had just gone to a fertility specialist to talk about options, to make sure everything is good (since I’m 33, I wanted to get a jump on tests if they were needed). 

It’s frustrating, but it’s totally normal. When my doctor saw me, she said oh so you got pregnant naturally within ten cycles, so you didn’t need that fertility specialist at all! In my mind I was thinking 10 months was the longest time ever—in their eyes, it’s perfectly normal to take a year at least. 

The truth is, most people don’t share how long they’ve tried unless it was short. Nobody in my life except my best friend knows that we tried for so long, or that we had a miscarriage. So when we finally annouce, people who are struggling might think “damn everyone gets pregnant so easily.” Welp–it wasn’t that easy for us, or at least it sure didn’t feel like it, even though it happened naturally. 

And yes, my mom’s favorite catchphrase is “just relax and it will happen.” I lost it on her one day for saying that because that’s really terribly insensitive. The one thing I did take to heart though was what my fertility specialist said to me on our first meeting—she said that there are very very very few truly infertile people in this world, and that most are just subfertile. She said she had zero doubts that she could get us pregnant, it just might take some time and tests. I’m very lucky that I didn’t need them, but it was so nice to feel like no matter what it was possible, even if not in the way I had hoped. 

Post # 15
Member
1855 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

My husband’s parents tried for four years to conceive his older brother, And my very good friend tried for nine years and is now 28 weeks with her little one. Neither of them sought out extra help. My in-laws had no trouble getting pregnant after the first one 🙂

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