Post # 17
@peachykeener: Don’t feel bad! Everyone’s situation is different, and any emotion that you feel is a valid emotion.
I’m 23, SO is 30 and we’ve been together for 9 months, are are fully committed to each other. We’ve both done the “dating game” to death and are ready to settle down with each other and start a life together.
Everyone authors a different story!
Post # 18
I am 22 and waiting. I have been with my SO +6 years. We will be 23 when we get married, and I see no reason to wait beyond that. My SO and I are graduating from University this Summer and then grad school/working more. We’re ready.
If you feel that you and your SO are ready to be married, then that’s that. Don’t worry about what others say or how long is long enough to be ready for marriage. I’ve had the wedding bug for a couple years already.
Have you talked with your SO about marriage? If not, I think this could help with your waiting blues.
Post # 19
- Wedding: August 2018 - Parklands, Quendon Hall
@peachykeener: I am 23 and SO is 22. We have been together 6 years. We’re not yet engaged but have talked about getting married around aged 26. I have learnt that you can’t really compare your relationship to anyone else’s. They are all so different and unique and what’s right for one couple isn’t for another. You aren’t selfish at all, and no one outside of your relationship can really tell you when you’re ready! There will always be people judging, but ultimately, you’ve got to do what’s right for you guys.
Post # 20
- Wedding: September 2014 - Banff, Alberta
@peachykeener: I think everyone has different reasons for judging someone marrying young. I don’t judge people in relationships as I have been in some interesting situations that people judged me, but couldn’t really understand as they weren’t in my shoes.
If I had married my boyfriend at 20 I would have been miserable. We broke up, I dated another dud for three years, THEN ended up with my FH. When you are young you change who you want, what you want out of life. You are still growing so how can you know who you want to be with for the rest of your life? I think a small percentage of people are jealous of you being engaged young, they know that wouldn’t have worked for them. I think people are just trying to look out for you.
Post # 21
I’m 24, been with my SO for 6.5 years.
Post # 22
I was once in your shoes. Started dating SO when we were 17. Will soon be 24. So we have been together for 6 years. I am now feeling ready to get married. Very much looking forward to it!
3 years ago at 20 years old, I can safely say I was NOT concerned with getting married. I don’t feel like we would have been ready at that age and I don’t think our relationship would be the same if we took the plunge earlier.
When talking to my SO over the years I know I wanted marriage to be special and signify a new stage in life for us. To me, this meant graduating college, buying a home, having good jobs and being financially secure. We have almost accomplished all of those things, and now I feel like we are ready for marriage.
Post # 23
- Wedding: September 2015 - Ketchum, ID
@peachykeener: Awww, I forgot to vote how long I’ve been with him. I’m <25 years old (my birthday is in less than a week!) and I’ve been with my SO for 2.5 years.
Post # 24
Thanks so much for all of your responses! I truly do feel better that I’m not the only one bit by the bug so early.
I feel like I have been bitten by this bug because my SO and I have been living together for almost the entirety of our 3 years together. I am not really a fan of playing house. We are both about to graduate from our Undergrad (Bachelors degree) this April. After that we will be moving back in with our parents for the summer until I go to teacher’s college and he finds a full time job, or does a Graduate (Masters Degree). We will definitely be living apart next year, and I think that might have something to do with my itch to become more formally committed. My best friend is getting married in January too, so I know that’s probably not helping things either.
I am in the process of working out a timeline with my SO, and working out what we will do after next year is over. I don’t think I will be moving back in together or continuing to play house without being engaged.
I feel very ready to take the next step, but I know he is not. It’s one of the reasons I joined the Bee, so I could talk to you guys about things instead of “hounding him” as my sister called it once. I am 21, SO is 22 currently. Both of our birthdays are coming up soon, so it’s more like I’m 22 and he’s 23. I am looking to get engaged around 24 and be married by 26. A family is a major priority for me, and I don’t want to /start/ in my 30s. Kudos to those that do it, but I don’t think it’d be for me. He knows this, and says he feels guilty that he’s not ready, which is why I have backed off substantially. The last thing I want is a forced proposal. HOWEVER, I do intend to keep it clear that I’m not waiting to get married until I’m 35, which he joked about once 😛
Our careers will be very unstable for the first few years, and I know that he’s hoping for something more stable before we get engaged and tie the knot. I think that he feels that a short engagement is the only way, but I would be okay with getting engaged at 22 and not getting married until 26. I’m just looking for a more substantial committment before our relationship turns into a long-distance one in September.
Post # 25
umm I have been ready to get married since I was old enough to know what marriage is. haha.
However, I am glad that I did not marry any of the men that I thought I wanted to marry when I was in my 20s (it was only 2 but that made it sound like a lot haha). I looked at rings with my first serious boyfriend of 2 years when we were 22. He was ready and then I woke up one morning and realized that he was my best friend…like, literally…no attraction at all. Might as well have been a girl. After that I spent my mid 20’s with a guy for 2+ years I was sure we were going to be together up until the day I found out he was cheating.
After that I didn’t date anyone other than a couple months here and there for almost 5 years. Now I am 31 and with the man of my dreams and I REALLY want to get married haha. He is not ready (he was taken for all he had in a divorce settlement-no kids though) so I am really itching! He has told me that it scared him and he wishes he was never married before because he would have married me already if he didn’t have the history he had. He is thinking I still have a year or two to wait. Just yesterday-“oh honey, you will get a nice big mixer in a couple of years at your bridal shower” couple of years?! eragaldsfkhgadlkfjg! haha.
ETA: Good luck finding a teaching job! It is brutal down here- took me 5 years from undergrad to find my “real” job- I did work as a teacher assistant for 4 of those years though 🙂
Post # 26
@peachykeener: I’m 21, and my SO is about to be 22. We have been together for 3 years, and I am “officially” waiting (I know it’s coming before this May). I know that I’m still young but a lot of people I know that are my age or younger are getting engaged and married, and it only makes me more frustrated about waiting! I feel like it will never really happen. But my SO is a very practical man, so I know he just wants to make sure we will both have jobs when we graduate from college in the spring before moving to the next step. It’s an exciting time though!
Post # 27
I’m 20 and SO is 22. We’ve been together just under a year and a half. We are pretty sure this is it, but we have a few years of school/starting careers before we would consider getting married. He’s obsessed with having a stable salary and being able to support us, so I know that is something he needs to achieve before we can take that step. He’s so worried that he won’t be able to – I know he will (and I’ll also be working!), so it’s pretty cute. I’m at the point that if he proposed now, I would say yes but have a long engagement. But it’s more like I have a year left of undergrad, and then probably another year or two of grad school after that while he’s working. I think that once we are living together and he has a job and we are feeling stable, I will consider myself “waiting”. It’s actually kind of nice to not be established – if we were 3-4 years older, we would probably be engaged already. But for now, we can enjoy our relationship without the pressure to take it to the next step while also being committed in the same way.
Post # 28
Me! I JUST turned 21 and we’ve been together a little over a year. I’m still in school and financially we’ve got a few things to work on so I know I’ll be waiting a while yet, but I KNOW this is the guy, and we’ve communicated pretty clearly about that.
Post # 29
I’m 20 (my fiancé is 22) and we’ve been dating for 4.5 years. We got engaged this past February, but we’d been talking about marriage for two years prior to that. I definitely felt like I was “waiting” for a while. We even picked out the ring about six months before he popped the question, and those six months were torturous hahaha! Even though we never had plans to get married before finishing our college degrees, we wanted to take that next step in our relationship and not keep our marriage plans a secret from our family and friends anymore (even though he was really nervous!).
Post # 30
- Wedding: June 2016 - Charleston, SC
@peachykeener: I’m 21 too, and have been with SO for 3 years now. I got the marriage bug at the end of last year, so pretty much the same as you. Our relationships/SOs sound a lot alike; feel free to PM me if you want to talk!
Post # 31
I think if you’re wanting to start a family, it’s better to do it young; so it makes sense that you’d want to get married early. Not to say that you can’t start a family in your 30s, or even 40s, but there is definitely a biologically optimal time to have children earlier on. However, I don’t think wanting something for your future is being selfish, regardless of how long other people have waited or how old they are. Of course, I’ve never been “waiting” (didn’t even know the term until weddingbee lol), so I can’t really say how frustrating it is.