Post # 77
Because of so many comments on this 1 thread, I’ll start a “January 2012 Mr. Bee’s Plan Pact” at the beginning of the year. I’ll put up reminders of this every week, but just giving you ladies a heads up ahead of time, so nobody’s progress gets lost!
Post # 78
Didnt’ do well at all this weekend. Brought up “moving forward” again but in a very calm way (at least). It was hard to not just scream it, but I kept my cool. I don’t know if you’ve read my thread “Tell me if this has happened to you” – if interested please read because I’m skating on thin ice here.
Nonetheless, that’s not what this thread is about. It’s the pact. I only brought it up once. But I was very vulnerable, open, honest and put it out there. I really got nothing out of him regarding his intentions other than the usual I love you, it’ll be okay, nothing solid.
@butterflylove: thank you for your note….I loved your reply. 🙂
I feel like I’m barely doing the plan here but I’m trying. I used to bring it up several times a week so maybe bringing it up once is a good start.
UGH! better luck this week, right????? You fall off the wagon, you pick yourself up, and you keep trying, right?
Post # 79
Check In Time! I think that I am doing pretty good…didn’t bring up anything at all, because his family did for me. They ask questions about when, and I just said “Well, I am really focusing on me at this time, you know, with being in school and all. I just really need to focus on where my future is going.” He kind of got this ‘deer in the headlights look’ and I heard(from his bro in law) his sister told him that if he doesn’t step it up, he is going to lose me forever. They all know I am waiting, and are just as anxious as me. I hope his sister and her lovely comment speed this waiting game up.
Post # 80
@prshadow: It’s ok; the pact is more about making decisions to improve your quality of life than militantly sticking to the plan. If you feel like you’ve brought it up less, and you’re a little happier, it’s improvement, it’s moving in a positive direction. That’s the important thing.
@svnnh09: His sister sounds awesome! You provided a wonderful answer to the questions. Hopefully the pressure from his family gets him moving!
Post # 81
This week has been tougher than the last 2 emotionally. Maybe it’s the holidays coming? Maybe it’s just me being emotional and worrisome? I will say that despite it being tough on me, not saying anything about getting engaged, etc. has really seemed to ease the pressure and stress on him. He’s been extra loving lately and seems to come after my attention more so than usual. Yesterday I got a phone call just for him to say, “Hi” in the middle of the work day. I hope this keeps up! I should say I had two small slip-ups:
1. We got someone’s Holiday card in the mail with their wedding photos on it. I kinda felt like I got a stab in the heart. I later made a comment about it to SO, but I made it humorous. Later, I apologized if what I said made him uncomfortable. I think he really appreciated that and he said, “Oh, don’t worry about that – you are fine” and then I let it go.
2. We saw one of those awful jewelry commercials on TV and I made a comment that I can’t believe people buy those necklaces that every one and their mother has. He laughed and said, “Oh I bought you one of those with a matching bracelet for Christmas (joking)” I said, “oh, great! (saracastically)” Later, I began to wonder if me being sarcastic would make him think I don’t want any jewelry, so I slipped in that “of course, I like diamonds – just not those ones.” I regretted it after it was said, but it really was a funny conversation, and I don’t think he tied it into engagement at all.
Even though I’ve had weak moments, I’ve managed to somehow not speak about with him other than these little blips. I’m proud that those blips were funny ones as well and another way to take off the pressure. Thanks to all the lovely bees and a close friend, I’ve been able to get the venting out before it creates a “problem” between me and SO. I appreciate all the support!
I know it’s going to be tough on Christmas just because of what all will be happening for other couples – possibly even one of this brothers RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY EYES. I’m going to do my best to stand strong and enjoy my Holiday despite these reminders that we aren’t engaged yet. I’m not sure how just yet, but I’ll do my best!
Here’s to aother week! Happy Holidays!
Post # 82
Things have been good this week. Been really busy and haven’t had the chance to talk to SO much.
Am travelling back home, and will see him tomorrow for the first time in over 2 months! Getting excited!
I really like seeing your check ins every week and seeing how supportive everyone is, and sharing our ups and downs.
Reminder again, in January I’ll create a new thread for this, since this one’s got a lot of comments. 🙂
Post # 83
Weekly Check In:
I was completely successful at not mentioning engagement all week! It’s funny because it’s only been 9 days since we last spoke about it but it feels like an eternity. Anyhow, this week I applied for a job, started going back to hot yoga, enjoyed a big girls night out on the weekend and even got a mani-pedi. It’s been a great week and my SO and I have been getting along really well. Last Friday he told me he’s saving for “my ring”. For the first time in awhile I have started to relax on this issue and trust that it will happen in time. Overall I feel pretty good.
Hoping to make it another week without mentioning it!
Post # 84
Well this week has been interesting we got my mom all moved in to here new house!! super exciting and my SO was so kind as to do lots of the heavy lifting. I think that he doesnt want us to be officially living together until after we are engaged. but….. perhaps
@mrbee and @MisfitPrincess are right and the ring is hiding in the house somewhere.
@abirdword thank you for the words of encouragement.
being a waiting bee can be hard sometimes.
Are you girls excitied for chrismas? I am 🙂 this timenext week I will be at my SO folks house. 🙂
Post # 85
@Adeshewa: Yay! That’s so exciting girl! That’s a super good reason not to let you have a key, I will be looking out for your announcement 🙂
As far as Christmas goes, I’m not terribly excited. I’m not excited at all. Aside from the fact that I have a big tree covered in lights in my livingroom it doesn’t really feel like Christmas at all. SO and I decided not to exchange gifts, and we don’t even have any special plans, so there is no anticipation for gifts/romance building up and making me excited for the holiday. The weather here is much warmer than it normally is this time of year, so it doesn’t even physically FEEL like Christmas! Lame….
Post # 86
Well as for me it seems as though my SO may do something soon hes being awefully secretive and is talking about a possible wedding more often.
Im looking forward to getting my ring, hes been teasing me like crazy recently lol
.. ah well theres lot 2 do for christmas time 2 stay busy : -) bees 🙂
hugs girls 🙂
I also made a wedding board at pinterest. http://pinterest.com/adeshewa/wedding-ideas/
@MisfitPrincess: ya !!lights are fun and enjoy you warm weather, i know many of us bees in colder areas are wishing for warmer times
@lizzyflitz. congrats on him saving 4 a ring! thats a good step in the right direction. 🙂
Post # 87
Weekly check in:
Hi Bees! Just wanted to keep up with the weekly check in, because I have found this thread really helpful.
Overall this week was good. I didn’t bring up engagement or marriage at all. Although it did come up organically the other night. My SO told me one night after we had his parents over for dinner, that he has never been more in love with me and he’s happy we figured out everything about our future (we had a rough patch in September about expectations). I played it cool and was like “oh, what do you mean”, he said “that we want the same things and that we agree on when they are happening. I will propose by April (that was his timeframe) but everything else will be a surprise. I want to keep this exciting for both of us”. I thought that was so sweet. And really, April is not that far away! Bees, I feel like the biggest weight has been taken off my shoulders. I know it’s going to happen, so now I can just sit back and enjoy this time. Mostly I’m thrilled to be with someone that loves me so much and wants to make me happy.
Wish me luck on week three without mentioning it! Happy holidays to all of you. I’m crossing my fingers that I will be hearing some proposal stories from some of you in the new year.
Post # 88
Well, this week was not my shining moment 🙂 I caved and when the conversation of marriage came up, I went down the wrong path and now regret it 🙁 Everything is fine, but I hate that I took the whiny, upset approach to the conversation and I wish I could turn back time. I need to just keep quiet! That was last Monday – so the rest of the week has been fine, and I’m going back to not worrying and not talking about it! Even though I’m frustrated that I caved, I am glad that at least the subject was discussed again before Christmas, because if not, I may have fell apart on Christmas and then I would be really upset with myself for ruining a special Holiday for us by being upset over not being engaged.
NOW ON TO THE POSITIVE… My SO has been on a health kick for the new year, and he signed us both up for a gym membership. I already feel great with those endorphines pumping again! I’m getting myself onto a schedule and really spending time this next year focusing on my body and spending quality time with just myself, my iPod, and the treadmill!
I hope everyone has a Happy Holiday! Great job to all the ladies with the Pact! I hope next week will only have positive comments from me 🙂
Post # 89
Things have been ok. I’m back in California and there’s been a lot of family drama that’s been weighing me down. Fortunately things w/SO are great, and I’m happy to be home & back w/him. We’ve had talks about moving in together & marriage which seem promising.
Great to see all your updates, and glad to see how you guys have stuck w/the plan (or at least tried to ).
Wishing you ladies happy holidays, and looking forward to finding out how your holidays go!
Reminder: I’ll start a new thread in January called Jan. 2012 Mr. Bee’s Plan Pact. This thread’s got a lot of comments, and I want to remind you ladies so nobody get left behind!
Hugs to everyone!
Post # 90
Posted a new thread for the year! For all your updates, go here:
Jan. 2012 Mr. Bee’s Plan Pact