Post # 1
Just curious if there is anyone else out there?
I was another waiting bee, we’ve been together for 4 years and after a year we talked about ourselves being together forever and married in the future. I waited for a ring but our familiy situations were and still are very complicated.
We couldn’t really see how it would work out (a marriage that is) still I had hope that at least there was no harm in getting engaged but it never came, guess that was confusing to him.
I avoided any talk of engegement, rings…etc which had him probably feeling like I had issues with it. When I put my foot down and brought up getting married this year he agreed and we started planning.
Bought the dress/veil, ordered the flowers, tuxedo, planned who will photograph our destination wedding/elopement type of deal and have a general destination in mind. Planning on november this year (2011)
Our anniversary (day we met) is coming up in a few days but so far I’m pretty sure he hasn’t bought or ordered anything, but I’m also not seeing much effort from him.
I may end up with a proposal (e-ring) or may just get the marriage bands (hard to buy if I’m not sure what colour an e-ring will be) by the time we get legally married (probably a month before our destination elopement)
Seems like an unsual situation, I feel like a waiting bee, but at the same time I’m actually planning my wedding. Anyone in the same boat?
Post # 3
I was in this situation A LONG TIME before we got engaged. It was weird… but it is all working out. 🙂
Post # 4
I was – we knew winter of 2010 that we wanted to get married Summer 2011 but didn’t have the money for an Engagement Ring. We decided to use my great grand mother’s e-ring and brought it to be sized. In the meantime, I knew we were moving across the country in June 2010 and the wedding would be in New Husband – plus I wanted my Mom to be part of the planning – so we started planning and chose a venue before I got my ring. I finally got it (after he held on “waiting for the right moment” for 3 months) in May 2011 and I had only a month to plan with my mom – got the dress, flowers, colors, etc! Now I am going back next week to finalize everything EEK! It will all work out :o) It’s about your love not the ring!
Post # 5
I am in this exact same situation! We have officially set the date for May 19. 2012 but I still don’t have a ring. We have chosen the venue (They have our date open Yay!), are meeting a potential priest this week, have chosen colors, centerpieces and flowers, I have tried on wedding dresses and we have begun planning our 3 week European Honeymoon. I believe an engagement is a commintment to spend the rest of your life with another person but having said that … I do feel really weird doing all this planning when I don’t think we will be oficially engaged until I have a ring. My SO says I will get it before May so lets see what happens, our 3 1/2 yrs anniversary is next week !
Post # 6
Wow, you guys make me feel a lot better about the situation! Thank you for sharing.
In a way I regret not having the “normal” engagement period, it’s kinda not possible to go backwards if you know what I mean from this point right now. At the same time things between us have always been steady and we just know we want to be together, plus we’ve lived together for years now too, after we get married (legally and in the destination location) I realize life will be the same, there isn’t anything that I haven’t inveseted as a wife now in our relationship. I’m a very stay at home housewife type of girl, I clean the house, cook, pack lunches and we moved into our home late 2009 and are currently renovating.
I’ve never been the motherly type of person but I really want to be a mother at some point so that kinda pushed the wedding/marriage topic into gear.
About the e-ring, It’s not the deal breaker in the relationship, just something I’d love to show off to family and friends, it would make me feel special for sure. I just want a regular (even tungsten) wedding band, so no bling or anything because the matching e-ring and wedding band does not appeal to me and I work with my hands.
Have any of you felt like if you didn’t push the e-ring before marriage and it was left hanging as a promise he just kinda wouldn’t get around to it? This is one of my worries.
Post # 7
One of my super close friends is in that situation. They went back and forth and her boyfriend kept letting her down, she even ended up having their soon and they weren’t engaged. Finally she put her foot down and they are planning for May 2011. She has dress, flowers, invites, etc. He still hasn’t “officially” proposed and she doesn’t have a ring, but they are in fact engaged 🙂
Post # 8
I was in this situation. And we got married before he proposed with the ring.
Actually, he gave me the ring before he proposed, even.
Post # 9
I am currently in this situation. I do not have a ring right now. We talked for a while about getting married in September or October 2011. As the end of February (6 months from our potential wedding month) was approaching, I pressed him to see if I could start planning. He agreed I should start looking at venues. We signed a contract two days ago for September 3, 2011!!! I am very excited but also it feels weird that we can’t share our news with everyone. I have told my closest girl friends and immediate family so they don’t make other plans for the holiday weekend. I hope I still feel excited when I get the ring! Good luck!
Post # 10
I am absolutely in this situation. It does feel funny. People will say congratulations, and I just say thank you, but inside I feel so silly. We have our venues picked, our colors, and ideas about every detail. I’m trying to wait until he gives me the ring to finalize most things, but i just want to start shopping!
Post # 11
@SandAndSea: Wow, so many replies!! I know what you mean about feeling silly, the one time I went looking for a dress I felt like maybe they weren’t taking me seriously (esp. since I look so very young too which didn’t help) Nothing on their part gave that impression but it was in my own head.
I feel for you all, ladies, but at least we’re closer to that bigger goal of actually getting/being married.
So excited for everyone planning their weddings. Best of luck!
Post # 12
My boyfriend and I have been living with each other for a year and were friends for two years before that. We knew we would like to get married but knew we both were not ready yet. We recently talked about it again and both are very ready and excited to get married but very broke.
I talked to my mom (who is excited-like-a-kid- in-a-candy-store about it). I told her, very dismally, how can we get married? We don’t even have money for rings right now. Her reply “You know, you don’t HAVE to have a ring.” Of course, my boyfriend is working on getting one and has asked me what I like and I know he is eager to officially propose.
I will be the first to admit that I like expensive things and usually very good at spending money. The current no-ring situation is a constant reminder to me that it is not about a sparkly ring, or fancy dress (and not saying anyone else on this board does either!). But for myself, who is easily caught up in all the other “stuff”, it gets me back to the basics. Our marriage is about US loving each other and how strong we are together. If that makes any sense 🙂
By The Way, we have a date for August 20, 2011.
Post # 13
I am in this situation. I kno he has the ring and i waiting for a special day with a special plan for his proposal…. but in the meanwhile – I have ordered a dress, picked bridesmaids dresses, booked a venue and set a date 🙂
He better hurry up cause our wedding is October 8, 2011 🙂
Post # 14
We are kind of in this same situation!! He bought us a house last year and we are also have a set destination wedding date of October 2012 (we wanted September but he couldn’t get 3 weeks off then). He hinted that a proposal is probably going to happen in December and we have been ring shopping too!!
Post # 15
We have a wedding date booked and photographer and florist etc, and i DID have a ring, but because it kept losing diamonds, i returned it to the shop and as they were quite rude, rather than order another ring from them my FI got a refund and we decided to start the search again…….so its like back to square one.
but that was over a month ago and he hasnt mentioned it since! so i DID have a ring and now i dont. i have looked at rings and ring sets and have a pretty good idea of what i will go for, and i mentioned this to him but as yet…….we havent really had the opportunity to go get one.
i am a wedding photographer so last Saturday when we COULD have gone ring shopping, i was photographing a wedding, and yesterday (Sat) he was in bed all day recovering from a week of working night shifts. but there have been other days we could have gone i think.
If he would just SAY….’when are we going ring shopping’? i would feel better about waiting, but it just seems like he has either forgotten or put it to the back of his mind….(a very dark place). 🙁
i know its shallow, but i dont feel ‘engaged’ if i dont have a ring. its not the material thing, its thinking that he doesnt care enough to replace the ring we returned.
i dont feel like wedding planning now because i just dont feel its official. i KNOW we are getting married and we ARE engaged, but this little thing is bugging me, why he hasnt brought it up in over a month!
If that was the other way around i would be hounding him to choose another ring and dragging him to the jewellers to get a replacement. i have mentioned it to him, and dont feel like i can mention it again without sounding like a whining child.