(Closed) Anyone waiting on their SO to be ready?

posted 6 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
9688 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

@MariaW:  Hi! 

You already know what I think of what he’s been putting you through.  :/  Hasn’t it been long enough?

What I’d like to know is why you don’t move on already?  He’s wasting your time, and your time is your life.

He’s going to keep stringing you along, my dear Maria, as long as you allow him to.  I hope you can break free of this and find someone with the same goals you have.  We can’t tell you anything you don’t already know or haven’t already heard.

There is  the right man out there for you who won’t put you through this endless waiting.  But you can’t find the right one until you let the wrong one go.

((BIG HUGS))

Post # 4
Member
1194 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Wooooo – hold your horses.

How long have you been together and how old are you. Do you know why he isn’t ready yet?

I waited 8 years for my husband to propose. We talked of marriage and yes, sometimes I did get a bit annoyed when others married around us. But he needed time to grow up and to feel ready to take that next step. He wasn’t stringing me along at all, he just needed time.

You have to have an honest conversation with him about how he feels and don’t put the pressure on. Do you want him to marry you because he feels he has to, and then get divorce when he realises he just wasn’t ready?

Post # 7
Member
1194 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Then you need to calm down.

Would you like it if you had a major brat at him and then he threw his hands up and said ‘Fine, OK, you win, will you marry me?!’ no – you would be even more disapointed and prob feel like you had really pushed him into it.

You might find that if you ease off and give him the space to think, he will see that he is ready. At least try it for a few months before going nuts ass on him again.

Post # 8
Member
9688 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

@MariaW:  To keep yourself from going nuts while waiting, I suggest finding some healthy activities to do for yourself and keep your mind off all things wedding.  There are numerous hobbies you could take up.  You can spend time with your friends and make an agreement with them to not allow  you to bring up the subject of marriage.  Just for starters, lol.

Post # 10
Member
9688 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

@Twizbe:  Great advice. 

Stay calm!  And this man seriously deserves from radio silence from you, Maria.

Post # 12
Member
1194 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

@MariaW:  Close, we were 19 and had just started university. So 4 years of that 8 were us growing up, finishing our degrees and finding jobs.

Post # 13
Member
9688 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

@MariaW:  Smile

I sincerely hope this man is worth everything you’ve gone through for him, lol. 

Post # 15
Member
9688 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

@MariaW:  I truly think backing off will work with him, at least I hope it will.  It pisses me off that he’s been putting you off for so long but at least you’ve explained your part in it. 

Make a deal with yourself to back off and drop the marriage talk.  In fact, let him come to you from now on.  Let him be the one to bring up marriage.  If you try a new strategy maybe it will work. 

The definition of insanity is to keep doing the same thing over and over, hoping for a different result.  Don’t forget that. 

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