Post # 1
hi, fellow bees! here is my issue…S.O. loves me and we talk weddings and such..but he says he isnt ready to get married yet. what does this mean? we live together and have “four legged babies” together.. my pride is saying..is he not sure i am “the one”? meaning..is he waiting to see if something “better” comes along? all of his actions show me other wise.. so my pride is just goin NUTZ!!!???
Post # 3
Why don’t you ask him exactly what he means? We don’t know what’s going on in his head. You are the one who lives with him. Good luck.
Post # 4
Honestly, I think he just isn’t ready to get married. Some guys feel like getting married is the end of their world. It doesn’t mean that he is looking for someone else, he might just be comfortable where you are in your relationship.
Post # 5
I agree with MissAsB. He’s just not ready. It may not mean he doesn’t want to marry you, it may just mean right now, present moment, he’s not ready to do it.
Post # 6
I know this is hard but DON’T TAKE IT PERSONALLY!
If it’s a ‘ready vs not-ready’ thing, I agree ask him (calmly) when he’ll be ready, or how much time he needs, or is it a matter of thinking things over vs time passing?
Post # 7
I would talk to him about what specifically he means. Why is he okay with having all of the benefits of a wife by living together, but not pulling the trigger? That is the most concerning part – it reeks of why buy the cow when you get the milk for free… especially when he doesn’t elaborate on why he isn’t ready.
Post # 8
My husband had very specific ideas about what age he wanted to be married and how much money he wanted to be making/have saved up when we got married. All the crying and nagging in the world wasn’t going to change his mind. I would have a conversation with him about what makes him not ready. It very well might not be personal.
Post # 9
I agree with Mrs. Louboutin. I really think you need to have a talk with him to find out if he thinks he will ever be ready and if so, he needs to give you an approximate timeframe. He may never be ready.
Post # 10
this may be about how much money he wants to be making in order to provide for you and a possible two-legged family.
my other advise (that i have posted time and time again) is: Move out. You’ll get a ring in two weeks. Well, you will if he actually wants to marry you
Post # 11
I agree with the above advice. You’ve gotta talk this one through. It’s the hardest thing in the world, but you have to try and separate your emotions from the situation.
Post # 12
The only thing you can do is talk it out and really understand where each other is coming from in deciding personal timelines. That’s what marriage is all about – communicating. If you can’t communicate, then you shouldnt be getting engaged/married!
Post # 13
wonderful advice, yet again, ladies!!
i will be setting him down for a chat! i do kinda think a portion of it IS money, you know, wanting to be better off financially (would be good!)
because when we got together (together seriously..not mentioned on first date.haha) i was vocal that i would not be “just a girlfriend” forever. he understood that when i explained how marriage was so important to me. he is very logical in his thinking and i know he wants to have money set aside. he also has big ideas on honeymoon that will cost a fortune (imo) soooo…wish me luck and i will keep my fellow bees posted!
Post # 14
fellow bees!!! ITS THE MONEY!!! he just wants to be able “to do it right”. no $ for ring. right now..and all that comes with wedding…whew!!! my pride has been saved(hehehe)