(Closed) anyone waiting with a “pride” issue?

posted 8 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
2742 posts
Sugar bee

Why don’t you ask him exactly what he means? We don’t know what’s going on in his head. You are the one who lives with him. Good luck.

Post # 4
18637 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Honestly, I think he just isn’t ready to get married.  Some guys feel like getting married is the end of their world.  It doesn’t mean that he is looking for someone else, he might just be comfortable where you are in your relationship.

Post # 5
3587 posts
Sugar bee

I agree with MissAsB. He’s just not ready. It may not mean he doesn’t want to marry you, it may just mean right now, present moment, he’s not ready to do it.

Post # 6
935 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

I know this is hard but DON’T TAKE IT PERSONALLY!

If it’s a ‘ready vs not-ready’ thing, I agree ask him (calmly) when he’ll be ready, or how much time he needs, or is it a matter of thinking things over vs time passing?

Good luck!

Post # 7
1509 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I would talk to him about what specifically he means.  Why is he okay with having all of the benefits of a wife by living together, but not pulling the trigger?  That is the most concerning part – it reeks of why buy the cow when you get the milk for free… especially when he doesn’t elaborate on why he isn’t ready. 

Post # 8
9053 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

My husband had very specific ideas about what age he wanted to be married and how much money he wanted to be making/have saved up when we got married.  All the crying and nagging in the world wasn’t going to change his mind.  I would have a conversation with him about what makes him not ready.  It very well might not be personal.

Post # 9
8353 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2011

I agree with Mrs. Louboutin. I really think you need to have a talk with him to find out if he thinks he will ever be ready and if so, he needs to give you an approximate timeframe. He may never be ready.

Post # 10
1150 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

this may be about how much money he wants to be making in order to provide for you and a possible two-legged family. 

my other advise (that i have posted time and time again) is: Move out. You’ll get a ring in two weeks. Well, you will if he actually wants to marry you

Post # 11
256 posts
Helper bee

I agree with the above advice.  You’ve gotta talk this one through.  It’s the hardest thing in the world, but you have to try and separate your emotions from the situation.

Post # 12
10366 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

The only thing you can do is talk it out and really understand where each other is coming from in deciding personal timelines. That’s what marriage is all about – communicating. If you can’t communicate, then you shouldnt be getting engaged/married!

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