(Closed) Anyone wanna bitch for a minute??? I know I do…..

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
2320 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Currently freaking out about how everything will come together and whether or not the decor and such will all look cohesive.

Worried about getting the invitations off in time, I can’t send them until I finalize the menu which is still about 4 weeks away.

Trying to figure out how I’m going to pay for alternations, since I’m already tapped out and didn’t even think about budgeting for it.

 

 

Post # 5
Member
586 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

I feel ya. I’m pretty effing sure I’m going to get 3/4 of the way through the planning and not have enough time/money to finish paying for stuff.

Like, my dress, photog and food are taken care of, but I don’t have chairs, linens, groom’s tux/suit or flowers, etc. So I’ll have super nice photographs of people eating while standing around dirty, uncovered tables, congratulating my new husband who is wearing jeans and a tshirt.

Post # 7
Member
2263 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Currently stressing out because of finances as well. We are trying our best to figure out how to feed guests coming, but so far none of the catered options fit into our budget. We are now thinking we may have to make all the food ourselves ahead of time and pray and hope ‘light refreshments to follow’ on the invites tells people NOT to expect a full dinner meal. 

I’m also tired of FH’s family drama. The way there are bending over backwards for another family wedding right before ours, and forgetting to call or contact my FH to see how we’re doing at all. I hate hate hate how they are not helping out one bit and expecting us to invite aunt so-and-so’s second cousin as well. The way they’ve been acting is rude and hurtful and I’m sick of seeing FH get his hopes up only to have them dashed when his family doesn’t deliver what they say they will. 

 

I don’t know how we’re going to afford a photographer since our budget is tiny, and I’m sick of pretending I don’t care that I won’t have my wedding band for the ceremony. (there isn’t a place in the budget for that either) If anyone at the wedding gives me crap about any of these details, I will have to restrain myself from slapping them…. this coming from possibly the nicest, most unassuming girl you could meet. 

 

Post # 8
Member
2320 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@Crisark: I’m seriously afraid that I might have to try and get another credit card to pay but that is at the very end of a long list of things I could do. I’m really hoping that FI’s dad sends us some money and then we will just put that towards the wedding.

I’m so pissed at myself that I’ve had the last 10 months to save and I just couldn’t. I’m so bad with money!

Post # 9
Member
80 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

MissPumpkin,

It might be too late for you now, but my Fiancé and I told our families that we would pay for our friends and family up to the 1st cousin. Our parents were allowed to invite their own friends and extended family members (anyone beyond 1st cousin, such as 2nd cousins, great aunts, etc.) but are responsible to pay the price-per-head for their invited guests.  Worked out great for us.  Because my Fiancé and I are paying for our own wedding, none of the parents could dispute our rule and all have stayed out of the planning details, leaving us to plan our wedding how we like it.

The only hiccup came when my Future Mother-In-Law thought it was “unfair” that since her parents can’t come, that she couldn’t sub in another couple in their place.  My Fiancé told her that we already accounted for her parents being unable to come when we prepared our budget and the rules remained in place.  No issues with guest list since that time, but I admit to being completely offended at her attitude that we should just take on more and more wedding expenses.  Thankfully, FH wasn’t putting up with any of it, so put his mother in her place! 

Now, if you want me to add a few things to bitch about, I’d be happy to!! lol

Issues driving me crazy: people not sending back their reply cards, expenses adding up so quickly that it’s hard to keep track of, people not living up to their promises by offering help and then not doing what they offered to do…etc. The list goes on!

Post # 11
Member
80 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

@Crisark

Looks like you are doing a lot of great stuff on your own.  Good for you! Hopefully you have some friends/family that will help out day-of to coordinate the food prep, etc.  Either way, you will be walking down that isle and marrying the person you love, so try to keep that in mind as you try to stay sane!! (I am using this as my mantra lately…lol)

Also – regarding the RSVPs, I’ve basically delegated the following-up with guests by responsibility – grooms family follows up with their side; my family follows up with our side; we follow up with friends.  I’m sure we will get a good sense of numbers after doing that, I just get so annoyed that you go through all of the effort to put together invitations, reply cards, envelopes with stamps on them, and people can’t even be bothered to put them in the mail. 

Good luck ladies!

Post # 12
Member
5296 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 1993

Hmmmm I’ll play.

I paid a LOT of money for photos. They are nice photos – but I get 220 prints(albeit fully edited and color-corrected). Almost NONE of the awesome photojournalistic shots that I wanted and they led me to believe I’d get. Color me pissed.

Also, I find out from my mom yesterday that at our wedding, there were NO reserved tables for the families. Nice. Since we only discussed that, oh, probably a DOZEN times with the venue coordinator. If it hadn’t been for DH’s SIL (mine too now, I guess) my family would not have had anywhere to sit because my mom was helping me with my dress and the rest of my family was a little late since we have a dairy farm and they were finishing chores. Hence why I made damn sure they had tables reserved.  Really, really pissed about that since I have multiple emails and CONTRACTS stating they would have them reserved.

 

Rant over. For now.

Post # 15
Member
80 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

@Crisark

Don’t listen to people tell you that you can’t send out wedding invites earlier than 6 weeks away. That’s crazy.  We sent ours 10 weeks in advance and with how crazy the mail has been, some people still haven’t received their invites (wedding is 5 weeks away now).  Can you imagine if I had waited until 6 weeks from my wedding date to send out invites?  It’s so much pressure on you already.  You need time to process your guest list, numbers, etc.  Send them out 8 weeks in advance – give people 1 month to respond and you will have 1 month to do all of the following-up and preparation for final numbers.

Keep in mind that you need to know final numbers for more than just food – centrepieces, programs, table numbers, table assignments, favours, etc. Give yourself the extra two weeks and you will be glad for it. 

And (as I have learned), don’t trust snail mail! I had one invitation arrive 1 day after I mailed them, and then (as I mentioned above), some people haven’t even received theirs yet.  2 months is fair notice, especially for those traveling from out of town.

Oh – and all of that will help keep you sane while you do double the wedding work. Use that as an excuse with you mom and Mother-In-Law. lol!

Post # 16
Member
2263 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@Crisark: oh gosh I know. We got an estimate today for over 2,000 from a caterer… i was like, screw that we’re doing it ourselves! 

 We may be going with a local bakery and chick fil a… lol And costco….. Checking into that today, I realized we’d be feeding our guests just as much if not more and saving up to 1,000 dollars on food. Craziness! 

I am also doing fake flowers and DIY projects 🙂 yay to the ‘we can do it’ mentality. I think in the end, it looks like my FH and I will be saving upwards of 2-3 K doing most of it ourselves. (we’re having 60ish guests) 

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