I have a few decent stories (having been a wedding photog for the past 12 or so years), but the best (worst) stories came from my own first wedding. Really, where to start?
The wedding went fine, dinner was good, and then hell broke a bit loose at the reception. My then dh’s immediate family was on a fairly shaky truce at the time. His bio-dad (an alcoholic and woman-hating loser) was barely on speaking terms with anyone. His angry half-bro brought a really dumb girl who my own brother must have been mildly friendly towards (he’s not much of a ladies man), so my new half-bro-in-law had his undies in a twist. Cue the garter toss, and cut to the part where my bro catches it in his teeth and dh’s half-bro tackles him by the neck and drags him down to the floor. Seems like fun and games for the first couple of minutes, people laughing and thinking the two of them are play fighting. A minute or two more goes by and people have grown bored of the melee on the dancefloor and have stopped watching the two ‘boys’ (22yrs each) locked in battle. A friend of mine is on the fire dept, and he comes to me and says “They’ve been like that too long…someone needs to separate them”. I am on my way over to pull them apart, and then all of a sudden my new bro-in-law releases my bro from his neck-lock, and my bro sucks in a huge, loud breath and starts convulsing. Nice. 911 is called and he leaves the reception by ambulance. We subsequently find out that he has been choked until he lost conciousness, and for a week he walks around with the whites of his eyes filled with blood and the blood vessels in his face burst. He has the worst petechial hemorrhaging the doctor has ever seen in a live patient. Nice.
Back at the party, half-bro-in-law’s mother (one of my new Step MIL’s) and my aunt are having a slapping match in the parking lot as the ambulance pulls away. Friends pull them apart and they spend the rest of the night glaring at each other from across the room.
My mom is crazy drunk and is having a thisclose conversation with the woman my father brought to the wedding (who was also responsible for their break up). Luckily, this crazy conversation is filled with syrupy sweetness and false friendship. No fisticuffs there.
A little later on, i notice a bruhaha has materialized in dh’s bio-dad’s corner. I join the fun just in time to see my new SIL kick her bio-father in the chest and send him flying back into dh. Obviously bio-dad can’t let THAT kind of insult go, but before he can retaliate, he is being forceably dragged out of the hall by my new husband, his son. Somewhere in the parking lot, some fists are thrown, and dh returns to the hall with blood all over his tux shirt. Nice.
By this point the festive mood is pretty much over, and its nearly the end of the night. We follow my father’s family back to the hotel to continue our visit and have a few (more) drinks. We are loud and having so much fun together, and of course, we get kicked out of the hotel. Don’t believe anyone when they say you can get away with anything when you are wearing a wedding dress. It simply ain’t so. 🙂
We had a Martha Stewart wedding and a Jerry Springer reception. DH never got over that debacle, and neither did I. Our wedding memories were always tainted with the stink of remorse.
Really looking forward to my next wedding, and having a regular reception where no one nearly dies, no one gets thrown out for fighting, and I don’t spend my first morning as a married woman sponging blood out of my new husbands rented tuxedo. 😉