Post # 1
My DH and I, for various serious reasons, need to put off conceiving. It’s unfortunate as we are no spring chickens (I will turn 38 next month) and he is 51 and we have no children from prior relationships.
I guess I am just feeling sad about this today and am looking for encouragement from those who successfully conceived after 40 since that’s where it looks like it’s headed?
Thanks in advance. 🙂
Post # 3
My sister conceived when she was 40 on their first IFV attempt. She gave birth to an adorable, healthy baby girl when she was 41. This was after a couple years trying naturally. She has pretty bad endometriosis so maybe your path will be easier. It was no picnic for her or her husband though. She tried two more times with her remaining embryos that were stored, but no such luck. She was basically on hormones for 3 years and only now feels like her normal self she says. Since she was at it for quite awhile she did witness how her hormone levels (the kind that naturally lead to infertility) climbed year after year so of course there is a reason why doctors recommend getting started before 40 to make it easier. Best of luck to you!!
Post # 4
@mimi123: Not me personally, but I have heard success stories from ladies I know. I am putting my personal cut off date at 35 and I hope I make it! Lol.
Post # 5
I am 39 and trying to conceive right now with my DH. I do have a daughter from a previous marriage (who is 8) but we would love to have a baby together. I understand your stress. When I asked my dr about my age I was told “You really aren’t that old”! 🙂
I do have quite a few friends who have conceived over 40. 40 really isn’t a magic number where everything in your body changes. I know it’s hard not to worry though.
Post # 6
- Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL
@mimi123: My mom conceived naturally at 39. However, since she wasn’t trying to conceive, she doesn’t know how long it took to get pregnant. We suspect it was right when we moved in with my stepdad because they went from BDing once a week to almost every day. She does know that she had been having abnormal cycles after she stopped taking the Pill (I know, what did she think was going to happen once she went off the Pill and keep having unprotected sex? I was 16 at the time and even I knew better!)
Post # 7
Not me personally, I am 36 and pregnant but I have heard of other success stories. It’s so much more common now. When I talked to my OB prior to getting pregnant (when I was 35) she acted as though i was crazy and said “you have PLENTY of time” and that was it…..
Post # 8
My mom had an accidental pregnancy at 40 (and after my father had a vasectomy…paternity was definitely verified, haha!) She had a healthy baby, normal pregnancy, normal delivery and I got an awesome little brother out of the deal. It’s definitely possible!
Post # 9
Thank you bees, this is encouraging.
I almost burst into tears when we we saw a fertility doctor in August and he was all, “What are you waiting for? You’re no spring chickens!” I couldn’t even respond that we were fighting almost every day at that point and my DH has been unemployed for a good while. That’s why we’re putting it off.
My medical issues like PCOS actually seem to be improving with age so that is one positive.
Post # 10
@mimi123: I hate to be the one to say this, but if want a child, you cannot wait. You’re 38. Your fertility is declining with every cycle. I’m 40 – we’ve been trying for 2 years and nothing.
Either start trying now or resign yourself to the fact that you’ll most likely need expensive treatments, which aren’t always guaranteed to work. Biology is working against you here – 38 is not the time to put off having a child.
Post # 11
@oneofthesethings: I hear you, but since I feel as though forcing my DH to do this now would put a lot of stress on the marriage and hurt a child that would come out of it, I guess I have already resigned myself in a way. Are you doing treatments now? I wish you much luck!
Post # 12
@mimi123: A friend of mine had one child in her late 30s and one just after 40. Both healthy and happy. Good luck to you OP, it’s hard worrying about our ability to conceive generally so I understand your anxiety.
Post # 13
@mimi123: Thanks! No – no treatments for us. It will either happen or it won’t, but I don’t like the idea of fertility treatments for myself (no judgment on others!).
Post # 14
My friends all had babies at 37, 38, 39, 40…..with no issues. I’m with you, try when you are ready and don’t let anyone scare you into trying before you are ready. For me, that also means I have to live with whatever happens. I would believe your doctor before anyone else.
In a perfect world, I would have met my husband in my 20s, but that doesn’t always happen!
Post # 16
@mimi123: my SIL conceived at 40 ( 40 or 41, can’t remember) and has a healthy 2 year old!
Her main issue during her pregnancy was heartburn, she had it BAD. Also, some morning sickness, but mostly the heartburn/acid reflux issue. She was also vey active and fit before, during and now after her pregnancy.