(Closed) Anyone wish you eloped?

posted 7 years ago in Elopement
Post # 3
Member
3788 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Yes, multiple times. For us it was a wedding or a honeymoon, not both, and I wish we would have done what you described. As it gets closer, I just get more stressed out and realize that it’s more a spectacle than anything. Pew bows, ring styles, dresses, flowers — NONE OF IT MATTERS. There, I said it. It’s been foisted upon us by marketers who want us to buy it, and it’s made us all feel like we “need” these wedding accoutrements to make it “special.” Blech. It’s not even fun anymore, so what’s the point? I could get just as married in private and probably enjoy it more. Too late now, but I hope someone, sometime, somewhere who is still early in her planning and unsure of how to proceed stumbles on this thread and it will free her enough to run away with her groom!

Post # 5
Member
9029 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

I sometimes joke about when I get really stressed but I could never actually go through with it

Post # 6
Member
51 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I’m having this wedding for my mom (only daughter) and it has been such a painful experience. I hate it! I can’t wait for the day after the wedding.

Post # 7
Member
1501 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I’ve had these thoughts too. If I had to start again I would just go somewhere tropical. Way easier!!

I’ve actually stopped totally caring about lots of things. Yes I want a cake but I don’t care what it looks like. Flowers, ya someone pick them out for me. It goes on and on.

Post # 8
Member
11325 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

If you would have asked me in the months before the wedding I would’ve said yes. But now that it’s done, I’m glad we did it 🙂

Post # 9
Member
345 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I’m still engaged, the wedding is over a year away, and already I suggest eloping on a weekly basis!! and we’re going for a ‘small’ wedding!  it’s a nightmare.  everyone has an opinion, people try to helpfully suggest things that are NOT helpful (i.e., why don’t you invite this person, why don’t you do this, etc.) and instead of it being all about you as a couple who love each other it turns into something else.  But what is scary for me is I didn’t realise my Fiance wants the whole traditional thing and i really don’t want to blindly follow what everyone else does and it feels like a runaway horse. and we have a small budget and 30 guests and yet it’s a total pain.  If he was up for eloping, i’d do it this weekend.

 

oh yeah, we are going somewhere tropical and it totally doesn’t make it easier, i thought it would as well, but it doesn’t…. just other stuff to worry about instead

and Hello Bees – this is my first post! have been on this website for months! finally took the plunge Smile

Post # 10
Member
5655 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2011

I thought it many times!!!!!!!!!! Nearing the end of my planning I found my happy median….

I cut NUMEROUS things out/off my “must have” list and did what I could…..

ie We were gonna rent a “just married” car.. 67 VW VAn! Went perfect with our theme… in the end though we didn’t need it so I scrapped it!

Other things that were on my DIY “must to do list”… SCRAPPED!!!! Our guests were JUST fine without pew pomad… whatever they’re called, and other things that really only I would’ve noticed!

I AM SO GLAD we still had our wedding b/c the day was WONDERFUL!… once I got back to the “marrying the awesome man God had for me” lol

Post # 11
Member
305 posts
Helper bee

Yes.  I really regret not eloping.  This wedding is turning into something that I really didn’t want.  While eloping isn’t want I wanted, neither is this wedding.  At least I wouldn’t have the stress of planning all this though. 🙁

Post # 13
Member
5655 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2011

Good.. get back to the basics… and luck I no longer need… lol tied the knot the 9th.. everything went GREAT and I promise there are TONS of things you’ll never notice b/c you’ll be too enthralled in being MARRIED!!!!!! hehe

Post # 14
Member
47 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@Mrs.ChubbyBunny: YES YES YES. We were originally going to elope (we have had a very long engagement) then decided to have a ‘real’ wedding. I am regretting it now. Had some family issues a few months ago which have made me feel estranged. Had a really bad falling out with my Maid/Matron of Honor. I am getting little help in planning the wedding. I always thought this would be a very fun time in my life, but boy was I wrong. It is just a LOT of stress and money. Frown

I just hope it’s all worth it on the big day.

If we weren’t knee deep in non-refundable deposits, I would cancel and elope. A trip to the courthouse and then a badass vacation somewhere halfway around the world.

Post # 15
Member
1126 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I never really thought about eloping (would need to have my parents, brother, sister, and best friend there), but I have thought about having a super tiny wedding.  I’m talking ten people on a beach.

However, even though I’m currently super stressed about planning, I’m still glad we’re doing this.  I am unbelievably excited about dancing the night away with my new husband and all the people I care about – friends, family, friends who are practically family, etc.  And I think it’s a little judgmental to say that all of it is crap and doesn’t matter – Fiance and I have had every single meaningful part of our relationship in private (deciding to date, having sex, living together, deciding to be together forever) and I’m really excited about getting to share my love and joy with everyone else.  And while pew pomanders probably don’t matter (I’m not having them, because they’re not a priority), I think for some people it does matter that they’re building a magical day that’s totally reflective of the people involved.

Everyone should get to have the wedding they want, but I think it’s unfair to let bitterness over your own wedding cause you to condemn other people’s.

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