Post # 1
Member
682 posts
Busy bee
My husband is eight years my senior. I find that our age difference works well for us. I get some snide remarks about how he looks “old” and I agree that he does look older than me, but part of the reason for that is I look quite young.
I never had anything in common with men my age, though I have learned that even older men can be quite immature and foolish. I appreciate how refined and chivalrous my husband is. The only other man who dotes on me the way my husband does is my father.
Does anyone else have an older spouse? How have you navigated the age difference?
Post # 3
Member
139 posts
Blushing bee
@TakeTwo: My FI is also 8 years older than me lol! I really don’t feel like there’s a difference in our age really, I mean I know there is but there doesn’t FEEL like it. He looks very young though, he’s 36 and could pass for 25 easily, no one has ever commented on our age difference. I’ve never really liked dating men my own age either, I think maybe NOW I could but back before I met my FI (we’ve been together 6 years) 21-22 year old men were still more like boys than men!
Post # 4
Member
3170 posts
Sugar bee
My husband is 18 years older. We don’t even notice the age difference. I had a friend that was super rude and always made comments about him being an old man and dying before me….we aren’t friends any more.
Post # 5
Member
1660 posts
Bumble bee
My husband is 6 years older, not as big of an age gap… But I don’t even notice it.
Post # 6
Member
682 posts
Busy bee
@Birdee106:
It is best to stay away from anyone who insults your spouse or your marriage.
I once had a jealous “friend” who loved to make nasty comments about my husband and the way he takes care of me in different ways. I don’t talk to her anymore either. She was a struggling single mom and she was very jealous that I had a nice hubby and wore beautiful diamonds.
18 years is a substantial age difference, but as long as you can navigate that well with your hubby more power to you. It might get harder if your husband develops age related health problems while you are still young and spunky.
My husband has more white in his beard and some creases beginning to show in his face. We are all getting older though so that stuff isn’t a big deal.
Post # 7
Member
3170 posts
Sugar bee
@TakeTwo: There is nothing to ‘navigate’. We are just like any other couple. Health problems can happen to anyone at any time. We are a team and will take care of each other through whatever comes our way.
Post # 8
Member
2612 posts
Sugar bee
- Wedding: May 2014 - Madison, WI
My FI is 6 years older than me, I never consider that a large age difference.
My close friend is 19 years younger than her husband. It was kind of awkward with his son who is only 3 years younger than she is so they’re closer in age. Without trying to be mean a lot of people who watched her wedding (it was streamed live from Las Vegas) thought her husband was her father. I knew them personally very well so obviously I knew who was who, but people who didn’t were confused and then very very embarrassed!
Most people told her she needs to think about him dying first (especially since he has already suffered 4 heart attacks – he is 47 now) and about children. She has always been against having children and he’s trying his best to stay healthy. His last heart attack was on the day of her college graduation party, he was hospitalized while she was trying her best to great all her guests. It was difficult but they make it work. She was never much interested in men her own age.
Post # 9
Member
5068 posts
Bee Keeper
My FI is 9 years older than me, we both look young so no one ever notices the age gap. The only I ever notice is when he mentions pop music of his youth and I’m like who…
Post # 10
Member
682 posts
Busy bee
@Birdee106:
No need to get defensive. Age difference can bring up certain unique situations and challenges, whether we want to accept it or not. Denial is never helpful. Also, despite the best of intentions, sometimes couples cannot handle what comes their way. I am not saying this about you and your husband specifically, just in general.
Post # 11
Member
2494 posts
Buzzing bee
My fiance is 9 years older than me and we don’t even notice the age gap at all
Post # 12
Member
682 posts
Busy bee
@Ms_Purple:
When there is such a substantial age difference, people will sometimes think that the older spouse is the parent. If a woman marries someone old enough to be her father, she will have to realize that people may make that erroneous assumption. Most times, it isn’t out of spite or malice.
I would think that anything more than ten years age difference is a very large gap.
Post # 13
Member
606 posts
Busy bee
- Wedding: March 2014 - Brazil Room
My FI is nearly 15 years older. The only time it comes up is when we talk about future children and that he “better hurry up” on the baby making 😉
Post # 14
Member
1574 posts
Bumble bee
My FI is just over 7 years older than I am, and I like it that way. I’ve always dated older men, I think I have an old soul.
Anyone who judges because of our age gap can kiss my ass. We love each other and that’s all that matters! 🙂
Post # 15
Member
2626 posts
Sugar bee
@TakeTwo: “My husband is eight years my senior. I find that our age difference works well for us. I get some snide remarks about how he looks “old” and I agree that he does look older than me, but part of the reason for that is I look quite young.
I never had anything in common with men my age, though I have learned that even older men can be quite immature and foolish. I appreciate how refined and chivalrous my husband is. The only other man who dotes on me the way my husband does is my father.”
Story of my life!!! I look quite young also, so the age difference is amplified. 8 years is really not that big of a difference IMO. Sometimes I get nervous when I bring my SO around new people because here comes the age questions and blah blah blah…I have tried twice over to date guys my age, I’m 25, but there’s always conflict because I’m so advanced in life. I’m an Engineer, got my Masters degree in a yr, purchased my own house blah blah blah… I just can’t relate to younger men and that’s noone’s fault, it just doesn’t work for me.
My SO is quite the gentleman and very thoughtful and values me like no other. Sometimes he says he totally forgets how old I am because I’m so settled. He really does give my Dad a run for his money. He’s very calm and we talk alot which never puts me in the position of being scared to say what I want. I love my older man, he’s settled and has arrived to place where he knows exactly what he wants. So I don’t have to beg for a ring, for a wedding, for attention, for cooperation. I could go on and on. Geez, I love that man. 🙂
Post # 16
Member
2626 posts
Sugar bee
@Baroness_Meg: I’ve gotten that “old soul” comment a thousand times, and I have to agree, I do have and old soul.
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