(Closed) Anyone with anxiety or depression? How do you get through it?

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 46
Member
556 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

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AdaLee:  like others have said I think it looks good! Can you maybe get a stunning hair piece or veil to help!

I hope the xanax helps! I’m actually going to ask about it at my next psychiatrist appointment. I’ve been in anti depressants for years and it has changed my life. I love my meds. 

Good luck!

Post # 50
Member
7 posts
Newbee

Have your hairdresser just add some lowlites to your hair to bring the darker color back. It really is pretty the way it is. I think you are just emotional about everything right now, and the littlest things are setting you off to crying. Try to take deep breaths often and stay hydrated. Everything will work out for you. Just try to relax a little and take breaks from thinking/doing wedding stuff. 

Post # 53
Member
104 posts
Blushing bee

Honestly, your hair looks really good. This comes from someone who is also overly critical when it comes to hair colour. I don’t know if it’s a good idea to go add more lowlights or colour because you can’t be sure how they’ll turn out… Your colour looks very ashy right now and unless the stylist knows what they’re doing, adding brown to the hair may make it look greenish. If I was you, I’d wash the hair every day and stay very far away from all silver products because ashy tones have the tendency to wash off quite soon. When that happens, your hair will look more golden and also less blonde. I should know, I try to keep my hair ashy blonde but always a week or two after colouring it the ashy tones start to fade and when I use a silver spray, my hair immediately turns blonder just because of the ashy tone.

Either way, your dress and hair look gorgeous; your worries seem very irrational to an outsider. I do, however, understand very well what it is like to get very anxious about something and then fail to see the reality clearly. What has helped me is doing hypnosis, I honestly recommend you to try! A great Youtube video I love is https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sxpDcsriFYI – I really recommend you to take a moment tonight before you go to sleep and listen to it. Hopefully it makes you feel calmer, at least it has that effect to me!

Post # 54
Member
1099 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

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AdaLee:  Oh sweetie, you sound stressed out to the max. I commented on one of your other threads, but I really feel like things have taken a bit of a different turn since then. While it is totally normal to have a bit of anxiety or stress around wedding planning, I think you know that this is not what that is. I don’t think what you have is wedding anxiety so much as anxiety that is rearing it’s ugly head over circumstances connected to your wedding, if you know what I mean. You’re taking all the right steps by seeing a doctor and looking into counselling, but I’m sorry that there isn’t a quick fix that can help you right now.

I don’t want to undermine your concerns about your hair and your dress, because I know what it’s like to have the feelings you’re having. I will say though, as a total outsider and stranger on the internet who has no reason to lie to you, I think you are going to be a stunningly beautiful bride. Your dress is a total jaw dropper and even if it sits a little lower than you might have liked, no one else is ever going to notice that (and lots of people probably even prefer it that way).

Your skin looks amazing (you have a gorgeous complexion from what I can see in your dress fitting photos) and even if you have a few blemishes on your face, a professional make-up artist will make them disappear. If you put your head 2 inches from the mirror, you may be able to see the texture of them, but no one else will and they definitely won’t show in your photos. 

It really sucks that your hair isn’t the way that makes it feel like ‘you’, but it really is a beautiful colour and your hair trial photos look fab. I actually love that it has many different depths of colour (celebrities pay bucket loads for that kind of effect!) and I hope you will be able to accept that it still looks beautiful, even if it wasn’t your vision. Everyone else will think it’s deliberate (it is gorgeous after all) but I can understand that you’d rather have more brunette in there if that’s what you’re used to.

One of the single most useful things I have found for dealing with anxiety is a mindfulness grounding exercise. When you feel yourself getting overwhelmed or your thoughts start spiraling out of control, you take a moment to think of 5 things you can see, 5 things you can hear, and 5 things you can feel (physically, such as the chair beneath you). It only takes a moment, but it really does reset you and get things back under control. It’s actually impossible for the ‘anxious’ part of your brain to be in ‘danger’ mode at the same time that you are processing sensory information, so doing the exercise helps sort of distract your brain for a wee bit and give you a chance to get some space from your anxiety. You might want to give it a go and see if it works for you.

When you’re feeling this way it can be really hard on your relationship, especially if your partner has not experienced this before either themselves or with you. Don’t worry – it’s just a patch and this too will pass. In the meantime though, maybe there’s something fun or special you could do with your Fiance to help connect and enjoy each other for a little bit. Depending on what appeals to each of you, maybe even taking a night off and lighting a few candles and giving each other back rubs while you chat could be relaxing and make you feel a little more in tune. 

I’m really sorry you’re having such a hard time and wish there was something I could do to help. Please try and take a step back and have some confidence in yourself and your decisions, and be kind to yourself. Sending you my most supportive and happy vibes…

Post # 55
Member
41 posts
Newbee

Sorry, I haven’t read all of this, but I can understand where you’re coming from. What if you shift your focus from external to internal? What’s inside matters so much more in a marriage. Can you shift your focus to learning to cope with a world in which everything isn’t perfect, and going into the wedding day strong and happy together? Hair be damned.

Post # 59
Member
133 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

I suffer from anxiety and depression (plus I have BPD). I’m on medication (antidepressants, mood stabilizers, sleeping meds and sedatives) and go to therapy. It helps a lot, especially sedatives when I can sense the panic coming or I’m already having a panic attack. I think you should get medication and therapy, it works wonders for me.

*hugs* Be strong.

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