(Closed) Anyone with moissy feel like this?

posted 6 years ago in Rings
Post # 3
Member
717 posts
Busy bee

hhmm that’s tough.  did they discuss moissy ever?  if he gave her the ring with the intention of passing it off as a diamond, they should have a serious discussion.  i feel like getting a moissy definitely needs communication beforehand to see how it’ll be accepted

Post # 4
Member
2065 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

Nah, I was the one who found and researched moissanite in the first place. I like the look of diamonds, but absolutely refused to let my husband spend that much money on a piece of jewelry. Enter moissanite. I love it! The story behind it, the look of it, everything. I didn’t expect a diamond or want one, so I don’t think I’m missing out on anything. I’m happily married with a sparkly ring – that’s more than enough for me! 🙂

But really in your friend’s case, it probably should have been a joint decision. Most women expect a diamond, it’s become the norm for engagement rings, and it’s what they prefer. And if he didn’t tell her it was a moissanite until after the proposal…I can see being upset because it wasn’t what she was expecting.

Post # 5
Member
4951 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Maybe she feels deceived, thinking she was getting a diamond?

Post # 6
Member
8042 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

I guess a diamond is the expected thing, and since she WAS expecting one, I can’t say I blame her for being upset.

From what I’ve read on here, most of the bees w. moissanite knew what they were getting. It was a preference – a conscious decision to get it vs. diamond or another stone. Honestly I had no clue what moissy was until about a month ago. If I saw one in real life I’d probably assume it was a diamond.

I think this is more about communication than anything else. Like how did she find out it wasn’t a diamond? Why did she get a moissy instead of a diamond? Did she indicate her preference for a diamond or not prior to the proposal? So many factors that we are not aware of.

In any case I feel bad for her, and I think she should talk to her Fiance about it before it becomes a bigger issue.

Post # 7
Member
4663 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

i def think deception is a part of it. maybe the sheer shock of it not being a diamond when that is what she expected. i would be upset about that too, but not at the fact that it is moissanite. i love moissanite and wouldn’t mind if i had moissanite. (mine is a diamond but if we had discussed it beforehand I would have said, buy moissy. save money and it’s beautiful!)

Post # 8
Member
1849 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Never, I would have been disappointed with a daimond. Please no one take offense, moissy was just better for me, for my own reasons than diamond. You should encourage her to do lots of research, it convinced me 🙂 

ETA: if seeking info doesn’t convince her that it’s a good choice, she should gently talk to her Fiance about it and have it be her temporary stone until he can save up for a diamond to replace it. I wouldn’t give it back immediately or refuse to wear it. That would make a mountain out of a molehill. 

Post # 10
Member
890 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

I actually picked out Moissy cuz I wanted a big stone and I couldn’t justify spending so much on a ring. I am not sure if I feel that way cuz I have never had a diamondWinkBut I love my ring so much, I don’t even think about what type of stone it is. As long as it sparkles Im good. lol

Post # 11
Member
1849 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@ilybride52513:  If she might not tell him about her disappointment anyway, tell her to look on the bright side – all the money he saved on the ring could go toward an amazing vacation, the wedding, or a house down payment. There are some major silver linings to choosing the more economical alternative. 

Post # 12
Member
3625 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I agree with PP that this really should be a mutual decision. Perhaps if finances were an issue, she would’ve wanted a colored gemstone rather than a moissy or even an eternity band over a moissy. For example, FI’s sister definitely wants diamonds, and would rather get an eternity band over even a colored gemstone. If, as PP stated, this was a clear fib and he intentionally passed it off as moissy, then it’s a trust issue IMO because he should’ve been clear that it’s not a diamond. I would rather my Fiance tell me he couldn’t afford a diamond then to pretend he could.

In some ways, I think she should still say something, even if she ends up being totally okay with the moissy. He needs to know he can be upfront about his financial situation and she won’t judge.

Post # 13
Member
958 posts
Busy bee

I’m getting a moissy because I’d rather have a down payment on a house than a big diamond. I get size and a bang for my buck. 🙂 But it was a mutual decision. I’d be a little miffed if Fiance hadn’t told me ahead of time, if I were her.

Post # 14
Member
1446 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I’m guessing they had not talked about rings beforehand, so yeah, if she was expecting a diamond, then a moissanite would be disappointing. Back in the day when I went to look at rings with an ex, if he had tried to look at anything that wasn’t a diamond I would have been very shocked and disappointed.

Now, as a moissy owner, I am so happy with our choice, but it was OUR choice. I think she can either talk her SO into an upgrade at a later date, or, maybe if she read up on why so many people choose moissanite over diamonds she might become more accepting of moissanite.

Post # 16
Member
6256 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2014

I am very on board with moissanite and other diamond substitutes/alternatives, but if a guy had proposed to me with what was ostensibly a diamond and it turned out that he wasn’t being honest with me, I’d be PISSED.

Honesty and communication are the foundation of a good relationship. If you don’t have those two things, which I worry that they don’t since he more or less lied to her, then what do you have?

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