(Closed) Anyone worry that nothing will happen by the time their timeline is up?

posted 6 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
1583 posts
Bumble bee

@MariaW:  I wouldn’t say I’m worried about it. Either he wants to or he doesn’t. I figure my life was fine before him and it would be fine after him. I still have my kitten!

Post # 5
Member
427 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@MariaW:  I totally feel you sister. Sometimes it doesn’t even make sense, I just think “it’s not happening, it’s not happening”. And then he will say something like “don’t forget we will be engaged before my birthday” with this huge grin on his face and then I am so happy, and a few days later I think what if he just feels forced into this timeline (has happened before) and he gets cold feet and freaks out. πŸ™

But truly, in my heart of hearts I think that he will propose before the end of the timeline and it will be a huge surprise and it will be his idea and we will be even happier than we already are.

Also I have a countdown on my phone, so I can’t be too upset when I see the days ticking by and I can hope it will happen! I think it would suck even more not having a timeline (sorry for all you girls without timelines reading this –  at least you know it sucks with one too haha!)

xxxxx

Post # 7
Member
486 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

I don’t have a concrete timeline, but I get worried sometimes that even when the farthest away day passes, he still won’t be ready. He hasn’t done anything to make me think that, but he also hasn’t done anything to the contrary. 

When we had the timeline conversation in the summer he said he thought he’d be ready to get engaged in a year or two and that 3 years seemed like too long for him to wait. So what I’ve been considering as our timeline, roughly, is a year or two. 

I think with my SO it’s more of the getting his ducks in order before he asks. At this point we’ve been together for a little over 3 years and we’re on the same page with the things we want in our future. One of the big ducks, a full time job (in his choice career) was just offered to him and he accepted. 

It’s not that I’m expecting it (proposal) any day, but I flinch (internally lol) every time he talks about buying something expensive for himself… e.g., a new phone, a lap top, a car, etc. So in that sense I’m worried that when a year or two or even 3 are up, he’ll still be talking about buying things for himself and not me or us. Also, he should be saving for an apartment now (we both live with our own familys) but I’m not sure how actively he’s actually saving. He’s always paying for dinners (which I’m grateful for!) and he buys us things we like to do. In my head those things really add up, so I I don’t know how he could possibly be saving for anything. 

Post # 9
Member
486 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

@MariaW:  haha thanks. Part of the reason that it doesn’t seem so long is because I’m in a 5 year doctoral program. So as nice and fun as it would be to plan a wedding, realistically speaking, it’s not happening anytime soon lol Not to mention the fact that I don’t have a job and am fully supported by my parents. I wouldn’t even want to bring up the topic with them for a year or 2 or even just wait until they brought it up haha And I don’t want my SO to carry the full weight of paying for everything (no matter how big or small). There’s also the fact that my readiness changes lol Some days I wish it would just happen, but most days I have to remind myself to stay level headed and that it doesn’t make sense for us to rush things. 

Yeah, we’re super happy about that big duck lol So now onto the apartment… lol

Post # 10
Member
427 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@MariaW:  Yeah I did it on Friday with the actual final date of the current timeline to remind myself it probably won’t come before the timeline. Also I just love to be organised, so I created a timeline for Christmas and my 21st birthday while I was at it πŸ˜€

Well before it wasn’t even a real timeline if you know what I mean. I’d been freaking out and really upset about our relationship (not rushing to get engaged at that stage) and he said before my 21st birthday (November 2013) we would be engaged and then I started talking about it all the time and having a combined engagement / birthday party and he backed out and said he didn’t want to do it because he felt forced into it. I was upset but I agreed with his logic and didn’t talk about it for a while. Then recently our best friends got engaged and we had actually set them up. Something in his head must’ve just clicked into place and we were so shocked (have been dating half as long as us, we weren’t sure their relationship would work out) and then all of a sudden he brought up proposing soon, we went ring shopping, then he was so happy and said it’d happen before his 21st (Feb 2013) and he keeps mentioning how he can’t wait for us to be engaged and he will propose soon.

There is a lot different, haha, sorry for the epic story – I ramble πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚

To answer your question, this is totally his idea. And everytime I bring it up, he reassures me instead of being nervous. The only thing that worries me is that he seems to be excited, but I really do not trust in his ability to plan anything, so I’m not sure if he is actually making progress or just caught up in the “I’ll do it, I’ll do it”.

The real turning point though, is when I was getting upset less than a month ago and he turned to me, so serious and said “Don’t you trust me? Don’t you believe I will do this for you? Just trust me, Paris” and since then it has been so much easier to shut up (except on here hehee) and just get on with our lives and being good to each other.

So yes, I feel you completely and I will be absolutely devestated if his birthday comes and goes, no proposal. But I also truly, truly believe it will happen and I just have to believe in him and let him have this one thing! πŸ™‚

Post # 11
Member
427 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@MariaW:  Oh and that is funny you say that because I always keep an eye out for your posts! πŸ™‚

Post # 12
Member
106 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@MariaW:  I was with my high school sweetheart a WHILE ago of course for 9 plus years. Things were great. We talked about marriage, his mom loved me and my family love him. We talked about not having kids because we didn’t want it, etc, etc ,etc. You get my drift. I then graduated from undergraduate school and got into graduate school. My h.s sweetheart, which was 2 years older then me was still trying to figure out what he wants to do for the rest of his life at this time. I was ok with that at first. Graduate school was 4 years so I figured no big deal until one day I asked him where do you see yourself in 5 years? He answered “still in debt and going to school”. I was heartbroken. We didn’t break up right after but the guy that been thru my high school prom, my undergrad years, graduate school interview (all the big moments in my life) is no longer traveling on the same road as me. We evenutally split up a year later . I was really sad and really heartbroken but what was I suppose to do. Even though he wanted to marry me and vice versa he wasn’t bc he still haven’t completely declared a major, didn’t want to move on up in his current job, etc. 

Maybe you guys should have a talk and just see his short term goals maybe in 5 years or kinda set a timeline for you guys. I understand you are afraid of heartbreak but it’s better now then later yes? Good luck!

Post # 15
Member
106 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@MariaW:  in that case, you are GOOD! No worries. Although I understand tho. My fiance and I talked about him proposing this year a year ago. So right when the new year hit I was always wondering when. Now? Soon? I started to get super antsy. Then when I gave up it happened. hahaha. It will happen and just let it run it’s course. I think it the best is when you least expect it. I was balling like crazy =)

The topic ‘Anyone worry that nothing will happen by the time their timeline is up?’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors