(Closed) Anyone’s fiance give terrible gifts?

posted 12 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
2767 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

A lot of guys get freaked out by giving gifts. I know my Fiance had sweet ideas when we first started dating and got talked out of them by his buddies who teased him. It really takes time and honesty – you want to let him know that you love the effort he’s putting into finding you a gift, but maybe drop in that “while roses are beautiful, I have always loved the idea of _____” he has no way of knowing these things unless you tell him – I tried hinting, and later admitted to it, to which Fiance said, “when will you learn that hints go right over my head?” 

The funny thing is, he is so sweet and thoughtful, but rarely tells me the sweet and thoughtful things he does. Just the other day, he let slip that he sometimes puts a little money in a fund for me to buy a second horse someday. I would have never known, and he was embarrassed to admit it, but that meant the world to me! 

Post # 4
Member
461 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2010 - Anela Garden Chapel & Japanese Cultural Center, Honolulu

My fiance never gives me gifts unless i ask for something very specifically. Which is ridiculous..how hard can it be to find something a tad thoughtful? I’ve never, ever received a card from him. I’ve complained and he said it’s because he doesn’t like the pressure and is afraid to get something I don’t like.  So to make it easy on ourselves, for birthdays we just go out to eat and get dessert. No surprises, but at least no one gets their hopes up.

Post # 5
Member
495 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

If I were you, I would definitely try hinting around. Show him something that you want for a gift shortly before a time when people generally give gifts and make a big deal out of wanting it. Maybe he’ll get the idea!

Post # 7
Member
340 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2022

My fiance returned from a mission trip in Costa Rica with the strangest bag. It looked a lot like the one pictured but was different shades of brown. Not my style AT ALL. I thanked him and immediately hung it in the back of my closet where it will remain forever. We still laugh about it.

[attachment=420339,56261]

Post # 8
Member
59 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

My fiance gives amazing and thoughtful gifts…. on the other hand… I SUCK at giving gifts. I just dont know what to give, dont know if he’ll like t, dont know if its stupid. I think of plenty ideas, and usually end up giving a very generic gift.

 

Some people just arent gift givers, and the sooner you accept it, the easier it will be. And you can be really excited and suprised when he occasionally comes up with a good gift.

Post # 9
Member
833 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

Mine is horrible. For valentine’s day one year, I got one small bottle of bubble bath–and he knew I spent hours working on his gift!  Then last christmas, I got every item in a store that I’d walk past and mentioned I liked when he was shopping with me shortly before christmas… what a smorgasbord, lol.

I just think that, even though he’s a crappy gift giver sometimes (and I have cried a lot when he obviously didn’t put ANY thought into it), he still tries hard to take care of me and give me what I want. Not to mention I put a TON of thought into gifts, so we just think about it differently.

Post # 10
Member
3793 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

My partner has gotten so much better over the years.  The year we really got serious and started talking about marriage, I spent a long time before Christmas picking the perfect gift for him.  I got him a watch that was hip, but classy, could be worn at work or a rock concert.  I was so excited to give it to him and see what he got me.

He got me….

Wait for it…

A rice cooker…

I was pretty bummed but tried not to let it show.  He was excited and said, “But, it doubles as a crock pot!”

I get less surprises now, but the gifts also tend to be more what I want.

Isn’t he just adorable?!

Post # 11
Member
1211 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

MINE!!!! Oh god the outfits he’s picked out, the valentines days he’s screwed up He just gets me a card and puts money in it now and I pick out what I want (hahaa)

My first birthday with him i cried.my.eyes.out. Christmas was the same. He just sucks at giving presents.

Post # 12
Member
74 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

My fiance is pretty good at the gift giving. He’s really generous, really sentimental, and really thoughtful.

Probably one of the best gifts he’s ever given me was a plush Fievel Mousekewitz (you know, from that 80s movie “An American Tail”?). I told him once the story of how I had one when I was a little kid and how the girl next door told me that if I gave her my Fievel, she’d be my friend forever.. so I gave that little wench my Fievel and she made fun of me at school the next day. He remembered that story and searched the internet and found me a brand new Fievel and surprised me with it.

With that being said, FI’s best friend got married last year and FI’s wedding gift to them was the latest “Guitar Hero,” which was really more for his best friend than for them as a couple. Soooo, y’know.. I had to step in and give a nice, feminine gift to level out the testosterone. LOL

Post # 13
Member
171 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Awww, go easy on him!! Lots of people are just terrible gift-givers (::raises hand guiltily::) 🙂

Post # 14
Member
281 posts
Helper bee

Fortunately I’ve gotten lucky, but nowadays my BF buys things which are practical.  My birthday is coming up, and he ended up buying me a plane ticket to visit my parents for Thanksgiving, some clothing a few weeks ago, and a bottle of perfume when I was about to buy it.  It is so wonderful and sweet…

but as much as I’d hate to admit it, I wish he would have saved something just for my birthday.  I hope I don’t sound like a brat, because I teared up with these gifts and pretty much bawled when I got the plane ticket… but there is something special I wanted to experience during my birthday because I don’t really get gifts anymore.

Post # 15
Member
289 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

For the first 2 Valentine’s day that we were together, my fiance didn’t get me anything or even wish me a Happy Valentines day! I was sooo upset. I cried all day. Now he never forgets holidays. He usually asks me what I want, or he buys me jewelery which is always a safe bet! He has great taste in jewelery! Score! For my birthday a few weeks ago, he bought me a backpacking backpack (the really expensive kind that you use when backpacking in the forest). He also took me out to dinner at the Cheesecake Factory which was so so yummy!

Post # 16
Member
182 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

My fiance has only given me one weird gift in the 7 1/2 years we’ve been together.  But I do think you’re being a little dramatic.  He got you a gift, he remembered, shouldn’t that be what matters?  You said he is thoughtful in other ways so he’s not a great gift giver…so what?  Give the poor guy a break…he’s not perfect.

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