(Closed) Anyone’s SO have no input on ring?

posted 6 years ago in Rings
Post # 3
Member
1361 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

It sounds to me like your issues with choosing a ring and switching rings has made him not care.  He even said rings aren’t like shoes and you shouldn’t be changing it all the time, which suggests to me that he didn’t appreciate your switching from the first ring.  I’d say at this point, either pick what you like or pick what he likes, but make a decision and stop bugging him about it.

Post # 5
Member
4713 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 1998

my hubby only cared when he picked out our bands and my e-ring now he could care less…i show him things from the bee and he just shrugs his shoulders and says “i dont care stop showing me” men sometimes just dont care about this kinda thing!!! Get what you want you are the person who has to look at it and if he doesnt care what you do then why are you over thinkin it?

Post # 7
Member
4352 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

“So I took my ring to trade it in for a solitaire. I didn’t tell him about it and just came home with the solitaire.”

I would stop caring too if my husband traded in his ring without telling me or asking my opinion on the matter.

ETA: “In the end they replaced my ring but I sold it so we could pick something we both liked.” Did you ask him if it was ok if you could sell the ring so that you two could pick out a new one? Honestly I think you should take a picture of the first ring to a jeweler and have them custom make the same ring. You said you miss it, and I bet your Darling Husband wants you to have that ring but he doesn’t want to force you to get it because he is worried you will still hate it.

Post # 8
Member
707 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

My Fiance wanted no part in choosing my e-ring, other than paying for the one I picked out. He won’t have any input on my wedding band, and most likely, I’m going to be helping him choose his. Luckily, he inherited the diamond for my e-ring, so I at least had the size and shape to go by, but everything else has been up to me. He just isn’t interested and has no clue anyways. 

Post # 9
Member
1361 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@JustLove25:  Sorry, I just reread my comment and realized it sounded quite harsh and I didn’t mean it to!  My experience with my Fiance has been that ultimately, there’s very little he cares about regarding my ring or the wedding.  It used to drive me crazy because he’d say he hates something and then say he doesn’t care, and I always said “well which is it?!” and he said it’s both.  He says that just because he has an opinion doesn’t mean he cares (I guess this is where we differ!).  If it’s important to you that your SO be involved in the process of choosing your new ring, tell him that explicitly and explain why.  If he still won’t be involved, just pick out something you love!  His not wanting to be involved isn’t an indication of how he feels about you or your relationship.

Post # 12
Member
4352 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@JustLove25:  Ok I must have misread your original post then. Sorry if that came across harshly, I just don’t think its ok to trade in something like that without talking to your Darling Husband first.  If you’re not going to get the same thing you had before, then just get what you like best. It sounds like thats a solitaire, and thats what your Darling Husband likes too. I’m sorry he isn’t more interested, but most guys aren’t as interested in jewelery as women are.

Post # 14
Member
5177 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 2010

It just might not mean much to him as to what you change it to, and it is just not “his thing” to begin with, or perhaps he has learned that you are going to want what you want or not be happy, so he is a bit gun shy?

To provide a comparison of sorts, you and your rings to your husband may be like my husband and his hiking boots to me. The man has more boots than I have shoes of any kind put together. When he talks to me about wanting new boots, I just say “ok, if you want them, get them!”. To me they are all “sort of the same” (though I can appreciate they are good to great quality) and I don’t really know why he needs more of them, but to him there are perceived differences in everything from colour to heel lift to the width and support that he can talk about, and it is something he gets excited about…and I am happy he is happy, but I sure am not going to pick OUT his boots for him or tell him what to get and what not to get and participate in that way.  They are just not “my thing”, mainly as I live in my bare feet and Five Fingers and have no interest in heavy boots or shoes and I will not even be the one wearing them…he will be! I will just listen and ask questions. That is it! Other stuff he is a little less particular about he is more likely to ask for my opinions, and I may provide them, but even then he is going to (and I want him to!) get what HE wants.

You should really just wear whatever you are going to enjoy and what is going to bring a smile to your face. If you like hearts, ovals, and pears, than you should go for one of those!

However, I do kind of wonder why he insists on telling you that some of your picks are “ugly” if he is not willing to also tell you why he thinks that or give you some input on the ones he likes! It seems a bit passive aggressive to me.

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