(Closed) Anyone's SO totally clueless about costs?

posted 4 years ago in Money
Post # 3
12103 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2014

@Laurenplusalex:  mine knows all too well how much things cost, he works in the hospitality industry which is making our planning hard, he’s incredibly picky about WHERE we can have the reception.

Post # 4
9174 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

Yes, mine had no idea.  He told me he could find us a DJ for $50 an hour ($350 for us).  I’m sure he could have, but that would have been a possible disaster waiting to happen.

Post # 6
2687 posts
Sugar bee

Mine has no concept, but for good reason.  He hasn’t really been exposed to the costs because his older sister eloped and he otherwise hasn’t had any close friends or family planning a wedding.  He relies on me to figure out what things should cost, but I also rely on him to make sure my spending doesn’t get out of hand.  

Post # 7
845 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@Laurenplusalex:  we never talked about our expectations or wedding budget really–FI’s parents paid for the food which was the majority of the cost so we came out of pocket for only ~$4k which was great! We are having ~120 guests and I am confident that our wedding will be fabulous! 

Post # 10
7312 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast

Mr. LK was pretty clueless, and the planning process was an eye-opening experience for him. It was kinda funny, actually.

Post # 11
2494 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2018

Yes, but in a good way. When I told him how much our reception venue will cost he said “that’s it?!”. I thought it was expensive so I was pretty happy about that! Same goes with a dress, I told him that I might have to pay a few hundred to get it rushed and he said it wasn’t a big deal… score for me!

Post # 13
85 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I am planning a wedding for $5k but I’m also not planning to have a big fancy wedding either. It will be my dream wedding though just smaller 🙂

But yes, FI had no idea how much things would cost and totally thought that $5k would get us the best of everything. My Dad also thought as FI did which told my FI that his budget aligned more with a fancy wedding in 1975 than a small, family wedding in 2013 LOL

Post # 15
7312 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast

@Laurenplusalex:  Most guys have never done any sort of big event planning before their own wedding, so it’s almost impossible for them to know what it will cost ahead of time. Even when we host people here at home Mr. LK still doesn’t really think about the cost. He’s happy to help me plan a menu and do lots of other prep work, but I’m the one going out and purchasing the food, the plastic and paper goods, etc. So he’s kinda removed from that step of the process.

I think a smart thing to do is to both write down your top 5 priorities for the wedding (venue, food, flowers, your dress, live music…. whatever means the most to you) and then research average costs of those priorities together. It may help him see that his desired priorities do not necessarily match his desired budget, which gives both of you a starting point for negotiating your shared vision. Good luck!

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