(Closed) Anything to Keep Him Safe?

posted 5 years ago in Babies
Post # 3
Member
7771 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

Wow, this is very heavy.  I am sorry you are going through this.  I think it depends on the state.  My sister was a social worker in FL and they sent someone to the home after a report within 24 hours.  Every state is different.

Post # 4
Member
9083 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

This is not something you or your family can control. You need to contact your state’s social workers, or child protective services. Every state has different rules and regulations so I’d have her SO call them. I don’t think you can have any sort of control over that since you are not directly linked to the child (IE: You’re not a parent/grandparent) so other than maybe scheduling a home check if you called in your concerns, I’m not really sure it would go farther than that unless you saw visible neglect or abuse.

There really may not be anything you can do. While she may have some troubles or potential illnesses, there’s no way to tell she’ll be a bad mother or potentially harm the child. You just need to wait and see.

Post # 5
Member
2401 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

He needs to document everything she does. If she throws a chair, document it. If she is vulgar, document it. If she threatens anyone, document it. This is out of your control and in his hands. He is her husband only HE can fix this problem. After the baby is born, CPS needs to be called if she has done something to show she cannot handle the child. CPS needs to be shown documents and whatever else he has. My heart hurts for your family. I’m so sorry.

 

Post # 6
Member
4961 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Has anyone shown concerns for her and her mental health problems? Maybe a method of helping the family would be to direct her and her husband to some resources to better manage her bipolar disorder. I would suspect that under better management she would not be having these reactions.

Post # 7
Member
1309 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

Is she being treated for the bipolar? Where is her psychiatrist in this? Pregnacy can be a difficult time because she may be off her medication until she gives birth.

Post # 10
Member
1309 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

If the Mother-In-Law is concerned she should try and get in touch with this woman’s psychiatrist for help. The doctor should be working with her and the family very closely especially if there are worries about her welfare and if she’ll be able to parent. Keep in mind that even if you strongly dislike her behavior (threats etc), her behavior really says nothing about her character. This is a brain disease not a personality flaw. So try to separate your natural dislike for your SIL’s actions from your SIL as a person.

Sometimes people with mental illnesses aren’t able to safely parent but removing the child from the home is the last option especially since they are married. With the right support many people CAN parent. My mom has severe bipolar and she was able to parent, and while it was certainly difficult for us, a lot of that was due to lack of supportive services and ignorance of family members.

You should see what you can do to educate yourself and your inlaws about her specific expression of the disease and try to get in touch with whoever is treating her. If she was on medication prior to pregnancy, SOMEONE was responsible for evaluating her on an ongoing basis – not a psychologist or a therapist but a psychiatrist, which are MDs… Find that person, ask for resources to develop a safe parenting plan. Find out from her husband how her illness was being managed. Is she normally compliant, etc. You really need to put a lot of effort into creating a support network (and BEING the support network) for this family.

Post # 11
Member
7771 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

@Magdalena:  Excellent advice.

I think the child’s father needs to be involved in speaking with the psychiatrist about his concerns.  It is his responsibility to help manage the situation and he needs to seek help for that.  I think there is hope she can live a more stable life with the right treatment, but everyone needs to know what is going on/ what the concerns are.  I think the child’s father should be working with the psychiatrist to voice his concerns.

Post # 14
Member
2273 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

@sunangel08:  I’m sorry I have no advice but I’m commenting to say sorry you’re going thru this. I’m currently going through the same thing but in reverse as my SIL is pregnant to a guy who has bipolar – it’s scary because really we can’t do anything (she refuses to leave even thou she is aware they could be in danger) we just hope that when/if we have to pick up the pieces that no serious damage has been done 🙁

As PP have said hopefully once the baby is born she can go back on the stronger medication – as far as I’m aware there are still some meds that are ok – and some Drs will medicate and hope for the best because the risk to the baby is higher by taking mum off the meds straight away. Again I could be wrong as I only got the info thru a friend who was TTC and at the time was on quite strong anti-depressants, anti-psychotics etc for a personality disorder. Obvious you can’t do much about that side of it all though but maybe your Fiance can talk to his bro And just let him know you’ll be there if you’re needed and just hope for the best!

Again sorry you’re going thru this as I know how helpless you must feel.

Post # 15
Member
3104 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

@sunangel08:  if you hear anything you can and should call protective services. That’s what you can do to help this poor baby. 

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