Anyway else not get the engagement they were expecting? Did you cry?

posted 6 years ago in Proposals
Post # 47
Member
2278 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

It’s been 3 years. I think it’s time to let it go!

Post # 48
Member
1149 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013 - Ontario, Canada

Wow… My fiancé proposed at home, I was sitting on the sofa, facebooking on my phone. We were both I sweats and there was no music, no getting down on one knee – hell he even forgot to say “will you marry me” Lol! But you know what? Seeing how excited and nervous he was, how he spoke quickly to get everything he wanted to say out, how he pored his heart out – my man who is so private and very rarely talks about his emotions- seeing that ring box and hearing how he feels about me and how I’m the only one he wants to spend the rest of his life with – THAT made me cry with happiness. I am absolutely head over heels in love with him and that’s why it was perfect. 

We now laugh at the fact that he forgot to actually ask me to marry him (I told him about 30 mins later that “you know you didn’t actually ask” at which point he went “no I didn’t did I? Will you marry me?”)

I think you need to have a long things about if this is the right guy for you and get your priorities right. Is it the engagement story that matters or the commitment it symbolises? 

 

Post # 49
Member
494 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@fishbone:  + 1

OP, I’ll answer your question about my FI’s proposal. He went through a lot of trouble and thought, just as your Fiance did. He’d planned the whole day for us and it was so special and a day I will remember for the rest of my life. Yes, I did cry. So did he. It was the happiest moment of our relationship so far. 

I feel like if you really did love your Fiance, so much that you want to spend the rest of your life with him, you would feel some appreciation for the effort he put into his proposal. And most certainly you would not STILL be disappointed after 3 years. I just don’t understand it.

Post # 50
Member
2814 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I feel sad for your guy. He obviously put a lot of thought into the proposal and really wanted to do it. He did whatever he could to make sure he could propose to you that day..I think that shows how much he loves you.

Yah, maybe it sucks that you weren’t feeling good, or looked your best, but maybe he thought it would also make you feel a bit better? What you look like should really have nothing to do with a proposal.. we’re not in the movies where your hair, clothes, moment, etc is going to be perfect. Such is life.

Like many other people mentioned, if youre still griping over this 3 years later, youve got some deeper issues to sort out.

I personally think that your engagement was sweet.

Here’s an example of an proposal that will probably mortify you, but I wouldn’t change it for anything.

I knew my hubby had bought my engagment ring, and we were waiting for it to come in. After being together for 6 years, I wasn’t really expecting a huge show.

The day he was going to propose, my car broke down in rushhour (the alternator died). I was terrified. I have driving anxiety as it is, so this was seriously my worst nightmare. I called my (then) boyfriend and told him what had happened. He was acting kind of odd and said he was working late (little did i know, he had been trying to go pick up my ring). A few minutes later, he called back and said he was on his way to help me.

By the time he picked me up, i was shaking and crying. We took my car to the scrap yard (it wasn’t worth the repair). I was a mess, and so upset. Then he fessed up that he had been on his way to get my ring. I agreed that we should go pick it up at that moment, so we did. He gave it to me in his truck, no proposal. Just handed it to me and told me he loved me. Then we went and got icecream at my favorite ice cream place.

So yah. No fireworks. No fancy show. No photos, No speech.

It was perfect. It meant I was going to marry the man of my dreams 🙂

I think WAY to much focus is put on the “show” of an engagement, wedding, etc. People need to slow down. If they’re concerned with marrying the one they love, it should not matter how you get there.

Post # 51
Member
2090 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

“To be honest my first instict was to say no and walk away and come back and say yes only because i love you (more of a joke then being mean)”

This right here makes me think that you are not mature enough to be entering into marriage and need to seriously rethink if this is the right partner for you.  Never in a million years would I consider doing this to the man I loved. 

Post # 52
Member
403 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I got proposed to in my ugly kitchen beside our garbage can…. do not complain!!

Post # 53
Member
365 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

How SO proposes is NOT a priority to me whatsoever — I just want to marry the love of my life. When it comes down to it, that’s all that should matter.

Post # 54
Member
1639 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

@NK2012:  +1

@whocalledforcrazy:  +1 Also.

In other news, my proposal was not what I had planned. Fiance talked and talked and bragged and talked about how awesome my proposal was going to be and how hard he was working on it, he told my girlfriends and they were all “OMG YOU ARE SO LUCKY!!!”And in the end, he took me out to Outback Steakhouse (a regular for us) for dinner, came home, and after a shower, I was dressed in a big, black tee shirt and undies with super wet hair and he asked me on the couch when we were sitting down to watch a movie. It wasn’t what I expected, but it was that moment when the man I want to be with just FREAKING ASKED ME TO SPEND MY LIFE WITH HIM!!

To his benefit, he did incorporate a lot of small things from our relationship into that night, including the movie being the first movie we ever saw together. But he had initially planned on writing a video game (he’s a programmer) complete with all of our inside jokes and etc, and having me beat the game, come find him at someone’s house, and propose to me in front of everyone.

Being asked on the couch with wet hair in a giant tee shirt is a far cry from that, but it didn’t matter to me.

Post # 55
Member
7 posts
Newbee

that proposal sounds great , but you really shouldnt be bothered about it now , it was three years ago  and not everything happens like they do in movies. 

it sounds like you havent exactly been very fair on your fiancee since he did put alot of effort into it. 

Post # 56
Member
7 posts
Newbee

that proposal sounds great , but you really shouldnt be bothered about it now , it was three years ago  and not everything happens like they do in movies. 

it sounds like you havent exactly been very fair on your fiancee since he did put alot of effort into it. 

Post # 57
Member
350 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

This was 3 YEARS AGO.  Young girls seem to forget that it is the MARRIAGE that matters, not the proposal (which is one moment in your life) nor the wedding (one day of your life).

You are NOT ready to get married.  I also suggest counseling to figure out why you are holding onto so much resentment regarding ONE MOMENT in your life.

Post # 58
Member
3017 posts
Sugar bee

@beckylouise7:  +1 its been three years. I know we all dream about that moment and want it to be perfect, but the fact is he wants to marry you! and tried to make it special.

I want a grand proposal but I imagine my SO doing it very privately just between us, and wherever and however it should happy I know I will be too excited to care whos around or what I look like.

Post # 59
Member
503 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

FH proposed to me in bed without a ring. When he got my ring he handed me the box and said “well are you going to put it on?”. I didn’t care one bit though because all I could think was OMG OMG OMG I get to marry him! haha

I have to agree with some of the other posters… it’s WAY past time to let it go.

Post # 60
Member
1145 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

Wow… I think that it is horrible that a lot of the responses are telling the original poster that she is immature. How constructive is that going to be. Leave the post before you leave attacks as comments.

You accepted the proposal so… you should just accept the fact that it happened.

Word to the wise: expectations lead to disappointment. Too often women plan their proposals and their ring designs and gets disappointed in the end.

Post # 61
Member
594 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 1993

@MaryKay14:  my thoughts too.  No my proposal was not romantic at alL…..but I loved him so much and I was so happy it was his idea.  I also didn’t get a ring for a few months. I dint care. I knew the man I loved wanted to marry me.  By the was I still tease him about the way he proposed.  Let it go. 

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