(Closed) Apologies to the parents I judged 4 years ago

posted 7 years ago in Parenting
Post # 3
Member
198 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

This is a great article.  I don’t have my own kids yet, but I work in daycare so I got a big kick out of it.  Thanks for sharing!

Post # 5
Member
1749 posts
Bumble bee

@Juliepants:  I have had slices of humble pie. This is a lesson on keeping your words soft and sweet. Great article.

Post # 6
Member
2105 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Yeah, I will always judge a parent in a grocery store letting munchkin run around unattended.  I will always judge a parent whose sprog is screaming full-tilt in a non-family restaurant (or even a family restaurant, of the likes of TGIFridays).  I will always judge fast-food parents in the same way that I judge fast-food eaters in general.  The stuff is garbage for anyone, parent, singleton, or anywhere in between.

When I was a child, I wasn’t a screamer, but my sister was the tantrum machine and my older brother had ADHD.  If we were in a restaurant, supermarket, screening of the lion king, whatever.. we were taken outside if we couldn’t behave.  My parents would have the restaurant run the cheque and get the food boxed.

Post # 7
Member
3175 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Yeah, becoming a parent totally makes you eat your words. I have been that woman at the grocery store with a tantruming child more times than I can count, the one with the grumpy face who looks like she hates her life…I’ve always promised myself I wouldn’t be that woman!! The worst thing is, my child will not stay restrained in the seat, no matter how tight I put the buckle! He has literally jumped out before. So, sometimes I have to carry him, mid-tantrum. And people come up to me all the time and say “Why don’t you just put him in the cart?” Ummm…duh. Parenting looks way easier than it is, even if you still know it’s the hardest job on earth, it’s way more complex than you can ever imagine.

And @britishbroccoli, some kids do learn by being removed from the situation, but some kids learn by being ignored. I know I always promised myself that I would remove my kids from the situation, but, in a grocery store, sometimes the best thing for me to do is just ignore the tantrum. A. I’m not going to punish employees by putting away a cart full of food if my son starts tantruming at check out B. Sometimes it’s my only time to shop (I WAS a single working mom & had little time to shop, now I’m a Stay-At-Home Mom but only have the car occasionally), so, unless I’m going to be the fast food feeding mom you’re judging, I have to suck it up and C. Ignoring my son is really the only thing that quelches tantrums, so that’s what I’m going to do. I at least try to shop during odd hours when I know the store won’t be crowded & most of the people there are moms, anyway, so hopefully that helps the situation. Anyway, I don’t really know why you would make a comment like yours, since the whole point of the article is that you’ll eat your words later and you shouldn’t judge until you have kids of your own.

Post # 8
Member
6247 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 1900

I started babysitting at age 11 and I’m in no way trying to say that babysitting is anything remotely close to 24/7 parenting, but at least it gave me a reality check.  I got a mere glimpse of what parents go through, both happy and frustrating times.  I’m glad I had that early exposure because I never judged a mother who was letting her screaming child throw a tantrum in a crowded store or anything like that.  Sometimes you are at your wits end and it’s either let the child tire themselves out or risk some idiot calling child protective services because god forbid you grab your child by the arm and drag them kicking and screaming out of the store.

I have to admit though that when I see younger children on the heavy side eating fast food, I judge.  Embarassed

Post # 9
Member
891 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

This is so true! I would also like to offer my sincerest apologies to those parents I judged before I had my daughter. I honestly had no idea how hard it was.

I agree with les105, sometimes it’s better to ignore them. It works alot better with my Dirty Delete. If you don’t feed into it, she gets over it much faster.

Post # 10
Member
704 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

Reminds me of this stand up bit. I love Louis CK’s take on parenting. He’s unapologetically offensive and understanding at the same time:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_EBOI06r6c4

Post # 11
Member
485 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Oh wow! This IS a great article. Definitely sharing. Thanks!

Post # 12
Member
2410 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Great article, thanks for sharing.

Post # 13
Member
2580 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I don’t have any children, but I really liked this article. A good friend of mine recently had a baby and was struggling with a lot of these same things–she made very ambitious, well-intentioned absolute goals for raising her daughter, but has since realized that she often needs to make compromises for her own sanity and well-being.

She just told me how guilty she was feeling and trying to reconcile her parenting goals with reality–I will have to pass this along to her! It also is something to keep in mind the next time I start to judge parents whose children are misbehaving in public…there’s only so much parents can do! Thanks for sharing.

Post # 14
Member
2105 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@les105:  Except that I’m childfree. I have no intention, desire, or need to ever have children and degisn my day and life around avoiding them and their inconsiderate parents.

Post # 15
Member
891 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@MrsBroccoli:  I’m going to be honest here, your post rubbed me the wrong way. The point of the article doesn’t apply to you. Your judgements won’t change because you won’t have children. I understand that.

However, it must be exhausting to design your life around avoiding children and their “inconsiderate” parents. Far be it from me to not consider your feelings when my child throws a temper tantrum and it pisses you off. Cause it makes my life sunshine and roses, let me tell ya.

Post # 16
Member
5095 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

@MrsBroccoli:  

Maybe instead of assuming that the parents are “inconsiderate,” you could give them the benefit of the doubt and assume that they’re doing the best they can.

I think a better takeaway from the post is not that you’ll regret being judgmental when you have kids of your own, but that we should all try to be a little more compassionate and less arrogant in our judgments of others.

The topic ‘Apologies to the parents I judged 4 years ago’ is closed to new replies.

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