(Closed) Apologies to the parents I judged 4 years ago

posted 9 years ago in Parenting
Post # 18
Member
7429 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

I am childfree by choice, and I will admit, I do judge from time to time, and used to a lot more when I was younger. But now, having kids in and out of my life so much, I tend to sympathize more than judge. I will now offer to help a person by themself with a screaming child (“do you need help with anything?”) or sometimes if I catch a wild child/screaming kid/tantruming toddler or infant by the eye, I’ll smile and wave. It’ll startle them and make them stop crying. Haha, I was in walmart a while ago and did that with a little girl who was maybe 2, and she stopped so suddenly and just stared at me. The mom looked up at me with a weird look and asked how I did it! I told her I just simply smiled and waved at the girl, because she was too pretty to be crying that way (while looking at the little girl) and she actually gave me a small smile and stopped crying. THe mom thanked me, and I went about my day.

While there are days that kids annoy the crap out of me, I try to put myself in the other person’s shoes as much as possible. Thanks for posting this article

Post # 19
Member
2063 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I totally just shared this on FB.

Post # 20
Member
686 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

View original reply
@MrsSl82be:  I wasn’t going to post, but I really wanted to commend you for your answer. The fact that you can appreciate as a CBCer that not every crying child is the parent’s “fault” is really awesome, and the fact that you’d help people having those sorts of problems really speaks to the kind of person you are :).

 

Post # 21
Member
3942 posts
Honey bee

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@MrsBroccoli:  You have an awful lot of time to judge people. If I choose to eat lunch at Wendys, or treat my future children to a Happy Meal, why do you care? How does that impact your life?

 

Post # 22
Member
9024 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

I am not a parent yet but I have a baby on the way and I teach a class of 2-6 year olds on the weekends for my church so I do have experience with kids and all I can say is that it might not be right to judge parents BUT the FACT is some parents do a better job at parenting than others. Its the truth even if it sounds judgey.  I’m not saying its always easy,  but some parents are able to always control their kids in public and silence their whines with just a look, or a firm word, some parents are able to always be prepared with a healthy snack, some parents are able to raise well behaved kids that dont act like crazy creatures in public. So if some parents can do it, then it can be done. As a child, I never dared to throw tantrums in the store or even at home,  if my dad said no then it meant no and that was the end of it.

Post # 23
Member
10357 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

My sister-in-law actually HAS held her parenting to the standards the person in the article had pre-kids.

One time when my husband and I babysat, we let our niece watch 30 extra minutes of WInnie the Pooh.

We got an 8 paragraph email from the sister-in-law explaining to us why what we did was so damaging and why we should never have let her do it.

Sooooo….the judgmental door swings both ways ๐Ÿ˜‰

Post # 24
Member
9478 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2012

Very good article.  It’s funny how everyone’s perspectives change after experiencing that particular situation.

Post # 25
Member
711 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

Great article! Thanks for posting it. It’s funny how your thinking can change over the years ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 27
Member
2861 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I wish I could send this to some people. Granted I don’t do most of the thing mentioned, but still. Just making it in this world is hard and I don’t think it would kill people to have compassion. To stop and think ” Hey maybe that Mom with the screaming kid is having an awful day. Maybe I should offer her a smile instead of a side eye?” 

Post # 28
Member
7338 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

This is a great article, thanks for sharing!

Post # 29
Member
1370 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

View original reply
@MalbecMe:  

View original reply
@Juliepants:  

Both awesome posts!  I am a step parent, and way guilty of judging pretty much every parent I came across (I iwll admit I still do to some)

I have tried hard to hold onto some of my ideals.  It’s worked a little.  SOme days I just give in the fight. 

Parenting is hard work, and i never appreciated how hard until SS moved in.  It’s 24 hour on call, no matter how crappy you feel or how tired you are.  Never would I offer advice to a parent now that it’s EVER easy.  And the joys, they don’t run all day every day.  I used to feel guilty that I didn’t feel that way.  Now, if I have a few moment a week where I feel joy/fulfilled having SS with us, I feel successful!

Post # 30
Member
7429 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

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@FutureJessicaMcB:  sorry, I just now saw this, but I wanted to send you a big ol’ hug and kiss and a THANK YOU for saying that ๐Ÿ™‚  I certainly appreciate it. I’ve learned a lot in the past few months from having CBC convos on here, and irl, and its really opened my eyes to things. I used to judge, and judge hard, but then I was judged and it really pissed me off. I put myself into other peoples shoes, and I was ashamed at the things I’ve said. I try to pay it forward as much as I can, and hope that I can change at least one person’s perspective like mine was changed ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 31
Member
7768 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

I agree with bells.  I know no one is perfect, and kids are hard work, but some people are not the best parents.  I don’t have kids, but I have been a nanny and a preschool teacher, and helped raise my little sister.  The things is, chocolate milk is not what I am talking about- there are bigger fish to fry!  I don’t judge, per say, but I do think there are some things that are very detrimental to children and Wendy’s isn’t what I am thinking about!

When parents are passive it really bothers me, kids eat that up and walk all over people. 

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