(Closed) Appalled!! How hateful: “Moissanite or Diamond???? HELP!!!”

posted 10 years ago in Rings
Post # 17
9816 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

Yeah, I was absolutely appalled reading some of the comments on a recent thread here. I have a sapphire ring myself and I’ve actually had someone ask me if I got a sapphire because we couldn’t afford a diamond.

Ummmmm… not everyone wants a diamond!

Post # 18
7298 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

@walksa: I’ve started to take it to PM. Some threads are helpful, while others are annoying. Sometimes I just want to scream STFU! No one asked you if you thought moissanite was a fake diamond. People are looking for FACTS. Usually people are happy with the PM route. 

Post # 19
2 posts
  • Wedding: August 1996

Well I quess it’s like everthing else that’s new or that you don’t understand.

Moissanite  the 21st century diamond is lab created and is just as beautiful and resilient.

And to each his or her own.

Post # 20
7052 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

Just let it slide off your back!  My fave quote is this one regarding your chunka hunka blingy love on your left ring finger:

“A gem is just a rock that did really great under pressure”.

That’s all they are after all!  A nice, piece of world history!  And a symbol of love.

Princess Diana had a gorgeous sapphire, which now graces the finger of the soon to be Princess Kate.

Some women have diamonds in all colors on their ring hands.  Yellow, white, blue, green, black and red.  I may have even skipped a color!

And there are gemstones as bright and beautiful as a rainbow!  I love pink topaz, pink sapphire, orange sapphires, blue topaz, and mamu others.

What is important is that your ring makes YOU and your Fiance happy!

Fwiw, I am a gal who has a large 3 stone diamond e ring and a band of diamonds all the way around.  I actually HAD some insensitive people tell me that “your e ring is almost too big” and “wow, what does your H do to buy that ring?” and I had another ask me “are those diamonds?  Almost too big”.

And then there was somebody else who said to a person who knew me “they couldn’t be good diamonds to be that big.”

You will always get at some point an insensitive comment from a naysayer.  You just will at some point during your wedding planning and even after.  Maybe they’re jealous you’re so happy or maybe they wish they could get a new ring.  Who the heck knows.  All I know is…

I love my husband, I love the rings he bought me and I love rocking a killer mani to show those rings off!

It’s not the size or type of stone, but the amount of love and size of the love GIVEN behind the ring that counts!

Post # 21
2626 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

I agree with bellenga, just let it roll off your back.  Majority of the girls here don’t really care what the ring is, but more so the thought behind it.  My sister’s Fiance doesn’t have alot of money right now, so he got her a cubic zirconia for her engagement ring.  My Fiance had just gotten off a deployment (and all the extra mula that comes with it) and got my engagement ring from Tiffany’s.  Does my sister’s Fiance love her less because she got a CZ and I got a ring from Tiffany’s?  Heck no.  Monetary situations were just different. 

Just try to look to the positives of this site.  There are a bazillion girls here that can offer good advice on every type of ring out there.  I’ve seen some truly gorgeous rings…that weren’t diamonds.  Everytime I see Noritake’s ring, I drool on my computer.  That picture of her ring on the rose gets me…ever…single…freaking…time lol  And if my DH and I ever upgrade my ring, I already have my eye on one…that’s not a diamond.  Ofcourse, I’m way too sentimental and could never replace my Ering…Maybe I could add some bling to my right hand though. LOL

Post # 22
5 posts
  • Wedding: January 1991

One of the problems seems to be that some people assume that if a colourless stone in an engagement isn’t a diamond, then it must be a fake diamond, or that the owner of the ring must be trying to pass it off as a diamond if she doesn’t tell everyone who admires her ring that it isn’t a diamond. It seems the people who think like that have no knowledge of other colourless stones OR they think all other colourless stones are inferior to diamonds. But the fact is they’re not in any way inferior; moissanite, for example, has extra fire and sparkle and is preferred by many people. White sapphire is a wonderful choice especially for those whose birthstone is sapphire but who loves the look of colourless stones (that’s me!). White topaz is another beautiful stone in its own right. 

De Beers have certainly done their work well if they’ve convinced everyone that any colourless stone in an engagement ring must be a diamond. Diamonds aren’t even properly traditional in engagement rings; coloured stones were originally the stones of choice. People tend to believe what they’re told, advertising is very powerful and the message that only a diamond ‘is forever’ has fooled a lot of people into believing this to be true. It’s not true, of course; there are many antique rings still in pristine condition and often not a diamond in any of them. Sapphires, rubies, emeralds, topaz, pearls … the list is endless. 

I think one reason colourless stones are popular is because they go with every other colour of jewellery and clothes. Some rings can be very beautiful, such as Kate Middleton’s gorgeous sapphire and diamond ring (originally Diana’s), but such a hefty blue stone might ‘fight’ with a red dress or a ruby bracelet. Colourless stones leave all options open. But colourless does NOT have to mean diamond; there are so many others to choose from nowadays that no one has to buy a diamond if they don’t want to.

Post # 23
5653 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2012

Meh who cares what people think? They can have their diamonds and get all high and mighty over it if they want, I don’t care.

Post # 24
1571 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I find this post to be really interesting, because in my short time on the boards, I feel like most of the hate is towards girls who prefer diamonds.

I wonder if maybe people are just interpreting things wrong because when people choose sides, everyone is going to be a bit defensive of their position (or stone choice, in this case!)

I say, I’ve seen tons of gorgeous rings on these boards, diamonds and non diamonds. Personal preference definitely doesn’t need to escalate to fighting over what kind of ring somebody else (that you’ll probably never meet) is wearing on her finger!

Post # 25
108 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

It all has to do with “natural” things being worth more than man-made and it’s the same for everything in life.

Back in the day, you had beautiful people and average people. Beautiful people were seen as the priviledged few who were the lucky ones. With the emergence of plastic surgery, ‘average people’ could look beautiful too and there seemed to remain the stereotype of naturalness being worth more:”oh it’s not NATURAL beauty therefore it’s FAKE” as a means of dividing the natural from the ‘non-natural’. 

The same goes for moissanite, asha or even lab created diamonds now. Those with natural diamonds feel the need to defend the worth of their stones against ones that looks pretty much identical but man made by reminding others that they’re “natural” and therefore worth more. 

The best example of this I came across was from this website:


“But the most elegant reason that in the Moissanite vs diamond fight, diamond is always preferred for jewelry is simply that diamond is a product of our home planet, whereas Moissonite simply is not. It is artificial. Jewelry is art. Art is a reflection of nature. Moissanite is therefore, not really jewelry.”

Really?? Wow!

Sociologically I find this phenomenon really interesting. Even though what defines beauty is socially constructed (media etc) you would think that what defines a stone worth would be rarity. However diamonds aren’t actually all that rare so once again it’s the socially constructed notion of a “real engagement ring” requiring diamonds.

I personally love diamonds, moissanites etc because i love anything sparkly and long lasting. If money were no object and I had a bunch of stones in front of me that were guaranteed to last a lifetime given proper care, i’d pick the shiniest, sparkliest one (isn’t that the point?!).

In any case, what’s important at the end of the day in my opinion, is that each woman feels happy with her choice and not pressured into picking something  just because of societal expectations.

Just my two cents! 🙂


Post # 26
90 posts
Worker bee

Oh My I read the other thread that was an insane argument… can’t we just all get along and support whatever decision we make.. geeez

Post # 27
5 posts

Choosing the best stone for you is a matter of preference and the decision lies with the individual. The Decision to buy a Moissanite vs any other stone is one that could be decided toegether as most other thing in the wedding. Moissanites offer many different incredible aspects like diamonds. They are bright, clear and have a hardness almost like a diamond.

If you need additional advice you can read about moissanite here:


Randolph James

The topic ‘Appalled!! How hateful: “Moissanite or Diamond???? HELP!!!”’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors