(Closed) Appalled…would you be? Kids at adult wedding

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
9824 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

If the invitation says adults only it’s rude to not respect that request.

Post # 4
Member
955 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

Yes I would say a bit rude…unless they cleared it with the bride.

Post # 5
Member
1962 posts
Buzzing bee

Eh.  I guess I am not too upset because at least the baby didn’t make it to the reception (which is the most important part of adults only to me).  Maybe there was a reason (breast feeding ??) that SIL couldn’t be away from the baby.  I think it is really strange though to bring the baby and the defacto babysitter to the ceremony if there was no pressing reason.  Do the parents even know the married couple?

Post # 6
Member
1227 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I think it’s rude. It’s not just about the reception. Some people want no kids at the ceremony for the exact reason you mentioned – they fuss. They scream, they cry, they talk. The potential for ruining a very special moment is high when kids are involved. So yeah, I think that your brother and SIL were wrong to bring their daughter.

As for the breastfeeding thing that heather25 mentioned – that’s what pumps are for. Feed the kid before you leave for the event, and leave a few pumped bottles with your sitter.

Post # 7
Member
6065 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 2012

@Bubu82: Well said!

Post # 8
Member
3255 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I personally think it’s extremely rude if the invitation clearly specified that it was an adult-only wedding. A couple should have the right to create the environment and ambiance of their choice at their own wedding, so who is someone else to undermine them?

Post # 9
Member
955 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

@Bubu82: Very well said!

Post # 10
Member
7293 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

Well before everyone goes haywire, have you spoken to the bride or groom on the matter?  It looks as though the childs parents were prepared and had a sitter. I usually thought kids were a problem at receptions due to the elegant and adult atmosphere, and trouble with food issues.

Post # 11
Member
6065 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 2012

@Eva Peron: I don’t think it’s just for receptions. As Bubu82 stated above, kids can be unruly and disruptive during ceremonies as well.

Post # 12
Member
14496 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

I think its odd that they would bring the SILs parents and kids to the ceremony, but at least they didnt make a fuss about leaving and didnt end up at the reception too.  Maybe they thought the ceremony didnt have a head count and it’d be ok to drop in?  Not sure why they would want to though.  At least they were beign watched so if they got fussy, the parents would have had them out the door in a split second.  At the end of the day, rude?  Probably.  A very big deal?  Not really.

Post # 14
Member
73 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I think it’s incredibly rude and I would be furious if I were the bride or groom. No kids means no kids.

Post # 15
Member
273 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

This happened at our wedding with a cousin of Darling Husband.  Luckily, the baby was super quiet so I didn’t notice until the recetption when we went table to table to great people.  I was a little miffed and embarrassed in case anyone else wondered why they couldn’t bring their baby, but really it was beyond my control at the point so I let it go.  

Post # 16
Member
7403 posts
Busy Beekeeper

Rude, sure but thats assuming they didn’t tell the bride and groom first that there was a change in plans. Although, if they brought the parents, why wasn’t the kid at a hotel room with them? At the end of the day, its done. Sadly, we see threads on here all the the time about guests taking liberties, so nothing is a suprise anymore. And I’m sorry I never understood that whole breast feedling excuse, I think that’s a crock of doodoo. Your kid can deal with a bottle for few hours if their hungry. Oh I can’t be seperated from my kid. Tell the truth, you don’t want to be seperated. Big differance and if so, stay home.

I already know when we have our larger reception next year, this will be an issue with some in my family. If we dare to say no kids, i can tell you exactly who is gonna show up with them anyway. *rollseyes* . But we haven’t decided yet which way to go.

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