Post # 1
I’m not sure if I should be offended or just ignore it.
I went to the bank yesterday to change my name on my accounts. It became a bit complicated and I commented to the manager that “I am glad it a hard process in verifying ID, but sometimes it would be nice not to jump through all the hoops.”
She replied back, “that’s why professionals don’t change their name.”
granted, i was wearing sweat pants since it was my telework day but i still found it rude. I just smiled. I really wanted to tell her that I probably make more money than she does and i’m probably half as old as she is.
When I got back to my home (to work), I typed an email to the bank about sensitivty training and then deleted it.
I figured I would sleep on it a day, but it is still bothering me today. Not enough to write them an email, so intead I’ll vent here.
Post # 3
- Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL
What a bee-yotch. It was definitely not her place to comment on your decision to change your name. So unprofessional.
Post # 4
Wow that comment was pretty rude! I would’ve just stared at them and responded with “Yea well so sorry I so unprofessional.”
If it is still bothering you today then I’d write them that email.
Post # 5
Wow RUDE. I’d totally re-type and send that email to her supervisor. I’m a professional and if I get married, I will be changing my name.
Post # 6
@ajillity81 i kind of doubt she meant anything by it.
but as a side note, that’s bullshit about professionals not changing their names. the only time i really hear about not changing your name for work reasons is if you’re published several times over under your maiden name. i have a book published and I STILL changed my name, so even THAT reason doesn’t hold all that much water, statistically.
Post # 7
Wow. You showed great restraint. As a licensed professional who will be changing mine, that person was both wrong and awful.
Post # 8
What professionals? I work in the business world with professionals and I don’t know ANY of the women who didn’t change their name at ALL when they got married. Many hyphenated but most just changed it. So I am going to assume she has NO clue what she is talking about.
Post # 9
Wowzers! I would send that email for SURE.
Post # 10
@ajillity81 UH whaaat? A banker told you that?!! Having worked in banking I can guarantee you that they most definitely do change their names, and they don’t have to jump through the hoops because they know people to do it for them.
All you should have needed was a copy of your marriage license! I would send her branch manager an email, and if you were working with the branch manager, I would send the district manager an email.
Also, they really don’t make great money and the job sucks In My Humble Opinion, I know from personal experience. That’s why I left.
Post # 11
@lolita39 @lolita39 @lolita39
thanks, ladies. glad my feelings are not unwarrented.
she might not have. when i told DH he thought the manager was referring to herself as not a professional.
thanks, i was more in shock that that could come out of someone’s mouth, from one woman to another.
90% of the married women i know changed their names, about half moved their maiden name to their middle name. my mom’s reasoning when she didn’t change her name after her divorce was that she wanted to same name as her children.
thanks, i might still.
hoops as in name chaning in general (the manager knew what i was referring to), every one wants a different document. my marriage license worked at the SSA office, but it would not work at the DMV, i needed a certified copy of my marriage license with a raised seal. when i had come back this time, she knew that another bank associate had given me incorrect information the last time i was in the bank. they probably need more than sensitivity training.
Post # 12
Definitely ridiculous. Lots of professional women change their name! That lady was out of line.
I’m not changing my name, and I get comments about that EVERYTIME I have to fill out a form or someone realizes our last names are different. So basically we women just can’t win!
Post # 13
- Wedding: March 2014 - Chicago, IL
@ajillity81 I would be fuming. Um? Excuse me, but that sounds like she’s implying that either your not a professional or you shouldn’t have changed your name. I would’ve probably said something to her manager for her being so rude!!!
Post # 14
LOL her comment doesn’t even make sense, as is evidenced by everyone else’s comment here. What does being a professional have to do with changing your last name? So weird. Anyway, props to you for keeping yourself from pointing out the irony of how unprofessional she was being by saying something so snarky to a customer at her place of work.
There are so many idiots out there – Don’t waste your time rewriting that email, let alone worrying about some nobody’s opinion of you.
Post # 15
I’m sure she didn’t mean it as an insult. Sometimes things just come out wrong.
Post # 16
Very weird comment, doesn’t even make sense. I think you are over reacting a bit, I don’t think she meant you were unprofessional or poor. I have no idea what she was trying to imply because it makes no sense.