I saw your Reply # 29 where you said:
@Christy42213 I’m thinking about doing a similar thing, and I’m really curious how this has worked out for you. Does your husband ever get called Mr. Your Maiden Name? Does it bother him/you? Have you had any issues with people writing you a check to your maiden name and then not being able to cash it? Do you have kids? I don’t mean any offense, I’m just genuinely curious how you’ve made this work.
When I got married the first time (circa 1980) I kept my Maiden Name. It was very uncommon back then. I got a lot of snide comments… and sadly that crap still goes on today, no matter what option a woman chooses (keep or change)… just witness this very topic.
I took having various names all in stride. It really wasn’t a big deal… it was just a choice I made so I knew that there would be issues at time. Mind you I wasn’t an in your face femi-nazi about the whole thing… I learned early on, that when people didn’t know the whole story they’d make assumptions. I learned to roll with that.
So ya at work I was Ms. MaidenName…
Sometimes in the world I was Mrs. MaidenName (not etiquettely correct but a lot of women do opt for this to clarify to the world that they are MARRIED… I was for example Mrs. on my Banking Records)
Socially, I was often called Mrs. MarriedName… more so if it was a situation where people only knew my Hubby or our Kids (who had their Father’s Surname). Being Mrs MarriedName really didn’t bother me, and it was easier to just accept being called that, than make a scene to correct people… or get into a lengthy explanation / discussion with people I didn’t know who wanted more info (I considered my life as Mrs Anybody… to be my business… not their’s)
Occasionally, My Ex-Hubby would be called Mr. MyMaidenName… particularly so if it was a situation where people only knew me and not him… so one of my work functions… or a group that I was involved with on my own (Sports, Hobbies, Interests, Volunteering)
I used to tease him about it privately… but again, he did what I did… he just rolled with it.
Lol, sometimes we would intentionally use my Surname in situations… as mine is very North American and his is very European. He got quite tired of having his name butchered when we went to a Restaurant for Reservations… so we used to just use my name.
I am Canadian…
And in reality I find the whole name thing here a lot more laid back than it is in the USA. Maybe it is because we have so many more options (both when it comes to changing our names and being married)… in so much as we have Same Sex Marriages & Common Law Marriages that are both legal… and well so common, lol
People do so many things here…
Keep their Names – Change their Names – Hyphenate their Names – Co-join their Names (Johnson & Black become Blackson) – or just dream up a whole NEW Surname
And in most Provinces you can do this all quite seamlessly when you are Married (many times without incurring any costs) OR even months or years down the road (might be a slight cost in some circumstances… more if it means changing your Birth Certificate)
You add in the fact that in Canada it is NOT ILLEGAL to have other names as long as they are not for illegal purposes… and I know many people who have several names that they are known by:
Maiden Name – Married Name (socially) – and perhaps a 3rd Name for Business, Journalism / Writing (Pen Name), or The Arts (Tv / Acting etc)
Names just are a way more fluid here generally
Lol, except for Quebec. Quebec got tired of all the options… and passed a law back in 1981, that people would have ONE NAME LEGALLY from Cradle to Grave… (and they made it very expensive and filled with legal red tape to change it otherwise). Having one name forever might work for the bureaucracy that push paper… but it certainly doesn’t work for all the citizens who reside there (and less so for those that move there)