Post # 1
Okay, so I wasn’t like those women on TV who require their BMs spend $400 on a pair of 9″ heels and then demand they each lose 30 pounds, but I apparently was driving my bridal party and my (now) husband NUTS during the few months before the wedding.
I am very high strung and have dealt with pretty serious anxiety my entire life.
So when the wedding was about 6 months away (and we had just bought a house) I almost lost my shit.
I wasn’t demanding or anything, I was just REALLY overwhelmed and super stressed. I felt like I couldn’t make any decisions and was out of control worrying about EVERYTHING.
I must have called/texted/emailed my BMs about 1000 times in those 6 months about the same few details about the wedding that now I realize were totally stupid and insignificant. Again, I wasn’t being demanding about anything (“I MUST have diamond-encrusted napkin holders!”) but I was just SO worried about stupid crap – what if the photographer gets lost, what if the music doesn’t work for the ceremony, what if my Mother-In-Law throws a fit, etc.
And apparently everyone was really one edge around me but they bit their lip because ….. I was the bride. And I’m apparently more psycho than I realized.
It came to my attention last weekend when one of my BMs and my husband were together. They were joking about how they wanted to ring my neck during those months, and even though they laughed it off, I could tell they were serious.
And I just feel really awful.
I already verbally apologized to my husband and he just laughed it off and said it was no big deal.
But I feel really bad for my girls. Should I personally apologize? Just send a text/email? Or should I just leave it alone and chalk it up to the wedding/house buying stress?
I never wanted to be a Bridezilla!
Post # 3
Haha, it’s okay. I’m a month out from my wedding, and I feel the bridezilla rising sneakily to the surface. (Just yesterday I seriously had to not freak out on my family members who were INSISTING that I wear my wedding gown to our post-wedding BBQ, lol.)
Just send them a casual text or email and say, “Hey, now that the wedding’s over, I realize I was stressing out unnecessarily over little details. Thanks so much for being such a great friend! I really appreciate you. Sorry if I was annoying! :)”
That’s all that’s necessary. You’ll feel better, and it’s probably no big deal anyway.
Post # 4
Etiquette Snob here… lol
I think it happens to the best of us (at least once)
The classy thing would be to send a Written Note to apologize, and maybe tuck in a Gift Certificate / Gift Card JUST FOR YOU BECAUSE I CARE
Heck it is Christmastime… no better time if you ask me to mend fences and spread “Good Cheer”
Get your relationships / friendships back on track for the New Year.
Hope this helps,
Post # 5
I would not worry too much about it – it sounds like you were under a lot of stress and everyone knew it (as opposed to the “bz’s” of yore).
If you are really concerned, I’d go out to lunch/dinner/drinks with my bm’s (not necessarily all at once), and pick up the tab. If they protest, just say “I just wanted to say thanks again, for being such an amazing friend in the months leading up to my wedding…I know I was stressed, and I am so glad you did not bug me about it”
Post # 6
Haha, no one wants to be a Bridezilla! It just happens sometimes.
I’d bring your girls out for coffee, appoloigize, and laugh it off!
Post # 7
- Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA
I would apologize in person next time you see them. Tell them you realize now that you were super high-strung about stuff that truly didn’t matter, that you’re sorry for being a pain in the ass, AND thank them for being so patient and nice. (Compared to all the stories here of Bridesmaid or Best Man drama and dropping out, it sounds like your girls were saints!)
If I were them, I would really really appreciate that and also forgive you instantly (if they haven’t already).
Post # 8
- Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry
@lolot: This. And if you take them out for drinks, even better. 🙂
Post # 9
@Stace126: Haven’t read up so might have been suggested…HAND-WRITE a beautiful letter to each bridesmaid thanking them for everything they did and apologize for being anxious and nitpicky. Hosting a girls’ night dinner party at your house would also be a nice gesture.
EDIT: PPs are joking, saying “don’t feel too bad!” but realize you are on a wedding site where opinions are skewed. I would be seriously pissed if I received hundreds of anxious texts from my friends about her wedding details for months. However, we all make mistakes and do obnoxious things (lord, do I ever). But I would do a bit more than an off-hand apology. People don’t forget how you made them feel.
Post # 10
@Stace126: Treat them to a girls night! Just let them know how much you appreciated them being there. All will be well.
Post # 11
It’s great that you acknowlege it but I do think that a nice note and maybe treating them all to a night out (if you have the budget. If not a nice movie night at home with just girls!) would be the way to go.
Post # 12
- Wedding: June 2012 - Franklin Plaza
I agree with PPs, take them out for coffee, a drink, whatever it is you ladies do together and apologize. Thank them for being patient, understanding, a good friend and all that. I have to say I am dealing with a friend who is starting to head into bridezilla territory right now. I know she doesn’t realize it and there is nothing I can do about it except nod my head and go along with the crazy because she is my friend, it is her wedding and I love her. All I can hope is that after the wedding she realizes how crazy she was, apologizes and goes back to her normal self!! I miss her! Haha!
Post # 13
@Stace126: i think, just like you were overthinking then, you’re overthinking now. its so not a big deal, and i dont think you owe anyone an apology for worrying too much.
Post # 14
Definitely apologize, and I like @This Time Round:‘s idea of giving them a card and gift also.
If you’ve dealt with anxiety your whole life, chances are your close friends already knew. But it is okay to apologize to them, explain what you were going through, and genuinely thank them for being so patient and loving.
After that, let it go. Seriously. You’re going to be super-anxious about how you were super-anxious leading up to your wedding and that will get you NOWHERE. Apologize and then let yourself off the hook.
Post # 15
I’d give all my bridesmaids a call, tell them you realized recently how overwhelming you were during the planning process, say a quick “I’m so sorry about that” and then mention By The Way – there’s a little something in the mail for you, hope it helps makes up for it a little bit!
And I’d send them all a bottle of their favorite wine with a note saying how much you truely appreciate having them in your life (not your wedding, your life).
I think the combo of the personal phone call + the gift will help YOU feel better, and help mollify the situation with your friends a bit.
But you really couldn’t have been that bad – your friends are still talking to you!!! <3
Post # 16
- Wedding: October 2013 - Dalhousie Castle
Why not apologise? It sounds like you didn’t mean to be a pain, but a little text saying you realise that they put up with a lot and how much you appreciate it can only strengthen your friendships. They will feel good, and you won’t have to worry about it anymore.