(Closed) Apparently I'm too old to have a baby….Annoyed!

posted 6 years ago in TTC
Post # 77
207 posts
Helper bee

I don’t think you are too old! I’m 29 and have really bad endometriosis. I was told if i didn’t have kids by 30 it probably wouldn’t happen. We started TTC before Fiance and I were even engaged and so far no luck. I’m glad I didn’t wait, but I know that if I didn’t have health concerns I most certainly would have waited until I was married for probably a year or two. I also know a woman who was told the exact same thing I was for the exact same reason and she had her first at 32 completely unplanned, and then had another (planned) a few years later.

My Future Mother-In-Law had my Fiance when she was 36 and Fiance dad was 41. They pretty much thought they were never going to have a kid and so he was quite the surprise.

And those are just stories about people with known fertility issues…if you don’t have any I wouldn’t worry at all.

Post # 78
5184 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2013

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sweetchiquita12:  Getting pregnant later in life doesn’t guarantee complications, but the majority of doctors agree that it increases your risk every year after 35. Your risk of difficulty conceiving, miscarriage, and birth defects all increase. Such is life. Just keeping it real for you.

Post # 79
4497 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Your friend is just plain ignorant. Doctors don’t consider pregnant women older until 35. My OB told me that the drop-off in egg quality is fairly gradual until around age 40. 

And of course there are tons of people who deliver healthy babies in their 40s and even some in their 50s. Myo wn mom had me at 42, my sisters-in-law had healthy kids at age 45 and 46…. I could go on, but I won’t! 

Post # 80
8434 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

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vip0802:  Aw thanks, it’s been crazy at our house to say the least 😉

Post # 81
981 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

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Bridey77:  Do you really think they don’t? Thanks for the Public Service Announcement, though.

Post # 82
5214 posts
Bee Keeper

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Fluffmallow:  “Do you really think they don’t? Thanks for the Public Service Announcement, though.”<br /><br /><br />

Apparently some really don’t. There is a lot of misinformation being inferred in this thread. It is not a good idea to wait until your late 30’s to start trying to conceive, especially if you want more than one child. A lot of women can’t conceive without medical intervention if they wait that long. It is always better to at least talk with a reproductive doctor about their specific situation. some women have no problem conceiving later in life, but many do. To make blanket statements saying that anyone can wait that long is just not true.

Post # 83
1667 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

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Bridey77:  I would imagine that 99.99999% of the women on this thread understand that their fertility and chances of birth defects increase as they age. I know that I do. 

Regardless, they’re tired of having that fact shoved down their throat at every turn in the road. When you have a baby is a very personal choice, but for some reason people have no problem commenting on it. Some women had to wait for career reasons. Some had to wait because they didn’t meet their husbands until they were already a dried out husk of a hag (that’s me). Some simply chose to wait, and that’s ok too. Every choice has consequences and I believe that most people here understand that. 

I understand the implications of my age very well. However, having discussed it with my physician I feel confident that trying to have a baby with the man I love is not a mistake. And I’m not sorry that I didn’t just get randomly knocked up before I met him. 

To bring levity to this thread, my next door neighbor is from Ireland and had her first at 35 and her second at 42. While she was visiting home pregnant with her first, she had to go to the hospital for some spotting. Nothing was wrong, and they released her.

When she saw her chart upon exit, it said “GERIATRIC MOTHER” at the top. She tells the story every single time she has a few drinks. It never gets less funny. 

Post # 84
5214 posts
Bee Keeper

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CaroBee:  “However, having discussed it with my physician I feel confident that trying to have a baby with the man I love is not a mistake.”<br /><br /><br />

No one says that it is. I’m just saying that anecdotal evidence based on someone’s cousin or neighbor having a baby at 50 is not a good enough reason to say that it is safe to wait until the end of your 30’s to conceive. Some women may not be able to conceive if they wait that long. No one is saying don’t try for a baby later in life. What I am saying is don’t make reproductive choices based on the experience of others. I think it is awesome that we have Moms on this board who had happy pregnancies and healthy babies close to 40 and beyond. For everyone that happens for though, there is someone else who is now having to explore in vitro because of fertility problems. They can happen at any age of course, but it is good to at least discuss conception and fertility with a professional before waiting, if you have the ability to. 

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