Post # 1
Not sure where to start here.
The guest list was the most frustrating thing of this entire wedding planning process. From my in-laws who wanted to invite 80 guest just on their side, to my sorority sisters talking crap about me because they didn’t get an invite.
It’s insane. People are acting like our wedding is the hot concert of the summer. My maid of honor texting me yesterday that a group of our mutual friends “were just going to come” they already moved their weekend around. She was like “I know, they are insane”. What in the heck do you mean, you are just going to come!.
My mom suggested a while back that I give the venue a list and have them kick out in crashers, but I didn’t take her seriously, since we are having a sit down meal…no extra chairs.
This is getting ridiculous. Should I just give the venue a list? So frustrating!!!
Post # 2
Meant2Bee: honestly, if they want to come AFTER dinner, for the dance, I wouldn’t be as worried, unless you’re paying for the bar per person – then you might have an issue (or maybe not…I don’t know)
BUT if you really want to stand on principle, because they are being just plain RUDE give the venue a list, not on the list, out you go.
Post # 3
- Wedding: March 2014 - A castle
I had people threaten to crash our wedding, and thankfully they didn’t. We did have an action plan for if they did, I think it’s probably wise if you do too. I don’t think you need anyone to be checking names at the door, but you should have a family member responsible for knowing WHO to look for as far as the crashers go. If they do show up, then have the venue handle their removal. They will be the ones that look like idiots when there are no chairs for them, plates, or food. Sorry you have to deal with this! I know how bad it sucks – especially the catty girl stuff. It’s nearly a month after my wedding and I’m still dealing with catty women.
Post # 4
So incredibly rude of them. Definitely hire security.
Post # 5
MsGinkgo: Not sure WHEN they plan on crashing :/ We purchased a bar package with our venue that is per person.
FutureDrAtkins: My family would have no idea who half of these people are because they have never met them. Good idea though!
Post # 6
OMG! that is crazy!! Thankfully we have not had this worry! What is wrong with people, if you didnt get an invite you cant just crash a wedding. Maybe make you rethink some friendships eh!
Good luck! I would definitely have some sort of security set up… but dont be afraid to ask people to leave!
Post # 7
My mom’s cousin’s widow (who lives about 5 hours from where I am getting married) told us last weekend that she told her daugther they are coming to see me get married whether they are invited or not. I don’t think they actually will. And no they aren’t on the list. Mom didn’t invite them to her wedding for god sakes lol.
Post # 8
Meant2Bee: I was worried about the same thing, so I gave the venue a list. Actually I forgone the seating chart and went with a guest list to escort people to their seats. I had some attendants stand at the reception door and tell people their assigned table once their name was crossed off. I also informed them that if it’s an uninvited guest that that person must wait outside until a seat opens up (if a invited guest didn’t show, that actually didn’t happen, 100% of my guests arrived). I was told by my venue that they would close down the bar if they found out non-paid for guests were partying and drinking from the bar, since I had an open bar I paid for per adult guest. So it was vital that the venue stayed exclusive to just invited guests.
Post # 9
Absolutely give the venue your list! Especially if you’re covering the bar tab, there’s no way you should be paying for crashers.
Post # 10
Chances are they are screwing with you and just want you to worry that this will happen. If they were really intending to crash, most likely they wouldn’t announce it ahead if time. What did Maid/Matron of Honor reply?
I would call the person who texted personally and make it clear that you are limited for space and had to cut your numbers. And that it’s it’s not an open house or drop in kind of event.
On the very off chance that you think they are serious about making a big scene, it is not the job of the venue to keep lists or be your bouncer. You’d have to hire private security or have someone in your group handle it, hopefully with some measure of tact and diplomacy.
Post # 11
Another possibility is that they want to come to the ceremony, not the reception. Many services are open to the public, so maybe they are just assuming this is OK.
Post # 12
- Wedding: June 2014 - Twin Oaks Garden House
Uh i know how you feel. I have family who didnt get invited and say oh we are going. I had to say something. but i have a HUGE family.. like massive. im mexican. that should tell you something. im only having 80 people 90 tops at my wedding. we wanted it small (well thats super small for me) . also all my family is in AZ, NV, or TX and im in california. so i dont think people are going to pay $$$$ to come out here just to crash my wedding.
but i would have a list. and a backup plan. because its not $$$ coming out of their pocket its out of yours and people need to realize that. that just frustrates me. because being a upcoming bride….i know how much stress you are already under.