(Closed) appeasing FI vs. a friend feeling comfortable at my wedding

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
3461 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Is she really the only one without a date?  Or that gets caught on the line?  I’d feel very singled out if that were me, if that’s the case.  Drawing a line is helpful for cutting out groups of people, but not necessarily intended to cut out just one person.  As host, you want everyone to feel comfortable without breaking the bank.  If you think she will be uncomfortable and not know anyone, then yes, it may be a good time to bend a rule.

Post # 4
4336 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

if you tell her that she can’t bring a date, well, she might not end up coming at all!

then you get SAVE $100! oh goody…

Post # 5
7173 posts
Busy Beekeeper

I think you should tell your Fiance that’s it’s really important to you that she bring a date. (for the reasons you mention above, if needed).

That said:  if he still says no – then you need to respect the decision that you two made together on how you’d handle +1’s.

Post # 6
1144 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

@kingytobe: Are we 12? Can’t people go places alone and make friends? If she isn’t  social then thats her problem. Sorry to agree with FH but you didn’t originally give her a guest and you should not have extended an invitation to accomodate an additional guest. Now that you already did you can’t take it back.

Post # 7
5654 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2011

I guess it really depends what your criteria for dating was… 1+yrs? 6mths? what they deem serious?

If just about everyone else that was in a relationship is bringing a date then I think that if she’s in a relationship with this person it should follow suite with the others.

If she doesn’t fit the criteria you set up then she doesn’t….

We didn’t let anyone that wasn’t engaged or married bring a date other than the wedding party b/c a few were seriously dating but hadn’t made official engagements.

Post # 8
6998 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

seeing as she doesnt know many people that will be there i think its only fair to allow her to bring a guest (since its her boyfriend and all and not just a date) – its one extra person ya know? and honestly your Fiance wont even realize if he is there or not, yall will have too many people to talk to and entertain. I hope he comes around!

Post # 9
7431 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

@Captain013: I agree. I go to functions a lot without my husband, and I’ve learned to be able to talk to complete strangers and  build a repoire, but it is also part of my job.  Maybe it will help bring her out of our comfort zone, which could be a good thing

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