(Closed) Mindfulness and appreciation helped my relationship

posted 4 years ago in Waiting
Post # 2
Member
4252 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

Appreciation and also…not comparing your relationship to others.  People on these threads do that a lot, they realize that all their friends are getting married and start freaking out when in reality no relationship is the exact same.  I dated my husband for a year before we got engaged but that doesn’t mean that someone who dated their SO for 5 years before getting engaged is “wrong”.  When I started noticing my friends getting engaged in droves (about 3-4 years ago), I didn’t let it freak me out.  Actually my boyfriend at the time is now my ex, so thank goodness we never took things to the next level!  You have to focus on the relationship YOU have, not the relationship everyone else has with their SO.

Post # 3
Member
963 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2016

Congrats to you! We all get distracted, but remembering what makes our SO/FI/DH amazing is a great way to get back on track 🙂

Post # 4
Member
388 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2016 - Loveless Barn

I think I’m going to do something like this for the last 100 days of my engagement and give to him on our wedding day. Love how much power we all have over our own thoughts. Happiness is a choice. 🙂

Post # 6
Member
901 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2017

A lot of times when I’m depressed about waiting; and the fact that a lot of my friends are married/engaged, I actually think about that movie from a couple of years ago called “He’s Just Not That Into You.”

Jennifer Aniston’s character has been with her boyfriend (Ben Affleck) for over 7 years. He tells her he’s “doesn’t believe in marriage”. They break up, her dad has a heart attack, and she’s at her dad’s house with her sisters and their husbands. Instead of helping, all her sisters just sit at a table crying. Their husbands have their butts glued to the couch, watching football, ordering Aniston’s character around while she does everything and they do nothing. But then, Affleck’s character shows up and starts helping her with chores and groceries. 

At the end, she realizes that she has such a great guy, who is “more of a huband” than her sisters’ husbands are to them. 

That’s not me meaning to say my friends or whatever have dead-beat husbands (lol) but it reminds me that yeah, I need to keep things in perspective. I’ve known so many completely shitty guys in my life. I got myself such a great man now who has respect for me, cares for me, and is always there for me. I’m not gonna stress over the fact that things are not progressing fast enough, when I know things will work themselves out and I’m living such a great life NOW with this guy.

Post # 7
Member
112 posts
Blushing bee

In spite of a few bad moments I’ve been having – I started another thread about it a week ago – I’ve been writing down and saving the same type of thoughts about nice things my SO does and things that he does that bring a smile to my face – I’ve been putting them in a jar and plan on giving them to him as an engagement/this is how stoked I am to be your wife present

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