Post # 1
My partner and I had originally planned to be engaged in 18 days. However, his grandmother unexpectedly passed away about a week ago and the funeral was just today.
At the funeral and seeing how his family is still grieving, I am thinking that date is too soon. I brought it up with him and now we’re not sure how long would be appropriate to wait.
I feel like a full month might be better but was wondering if any of you bees had any experience or thoughts.
Thanks for any advice you might have!
Post # 2
I am very sorry for your loss, but live for the living. I bet she’d be P.O.’ed if you stopped your life just for her. 18 days, in my mind, would be enough time, but everyone grieves differently.
Post # 3
I think something happy (like an engagement!) is exactly what all of you need to counterbalance such a sad event. Gives you all something else to focus on!
so very sorry for your loss, bee! Xoxo
Post # 4
I agree with PP, I wouldnt postpone and engagement for a death in the family.
Not to be blunt, but delaying a happy moment isnt going to ease the familys grief or bring her back.
Post # 5
Sorry for yalls loss. I think it would be okay to go ahead and do it. It will be a bright spot. I’ve lost both of my parents and was left with only my grandfather. He passed away the day after we got engaged, before I could get home to tel him. 2 months later my FIs grandpa passed away. Last year was really tough for all of us, but it made us happy thinking about the wedding.
Post # 6
Sometimes happy things ease the hard times. I personally try to honour the dead by living to the fullest, by showing I am grateful for their contributions to my life by going ahead and remembering them in all I do.
I’m not much of a griever, I think…..they wouldn’t want me to stop the life they gave us because after all if his grandma hadn’t raised the parent of your BFs that raised him to be the man he is today…your engagement wouldn’t even be a reality.
Do it when you’d plan to. I think she’d be happy to see it, finally happen. She’ll be watching that moment with pride.
I am so sorry for your loss! Don’t forget to have a spot for her at your wedding. 🙂
Post # 7
Life is for the living. So long as he didn’t pop the question at the furneral, you’re fine
Post # 8
Thanks to all of you for your thoughts! It sounds like everyone is pretty unanimous. I’m just feeling cautious about trying to avoid any family drama and being as respectful as possible.
I’m sorry it sounds like you’ve been through quite a rough period as well – I’m glad you have the wedding to look forward to!
Post # 9
By and large I agree with pp’s who say don’t wait, but I think I would just check in, as it were, with grandfather( if there is one) and Future Mother-In-Law or Future Father-In-Law whoever’s parent it was , just to see if they seem receptive. You don’t want sad or negative responses when you announce .
Post # 10
Yes that’s a great idea – he’ll approach his parents to see what they think as well. Thanks for the input.