(Closed) Appropriate amount of time to wait to be engaged after a death in the family?

posted 5 years ago in Waiting
Post # 2
253 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

I am very sorry for your loss, but live for the living. I bet she’d be P.O.’ed if you stopped your life just for her. 18 days, in my mind, would be enough time, but everyone grieves differently.

Post # 3
447 posts
Helper bee

I think something happy (like an engagement!) is exactly what all of you need to counterbalance such a sad event. Gives you all something else to focus on!

so very sorry for your loss, bee! Xoxo

Post # 4
2087 posts
Buzzing bee

I agree with PP, I wouldnt postpone and engagement for a death in the family. 

Not to be blunt, but delaying a happy moment isnt going to ease the familys grief or bring her back. 

Post # 5
5362 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2016

Sorry for yalls loss. I think it would be okay to go ahead and do it. It will be a bright spot. I’ve lost both of my parents and was left with only my grandfather. He passed away the day after we got engaged, before I could get home to tel him. 2 months later my FIs grandpa passed away. Last year was really tough for all of us, but it made us happy thinking about the wedding.

Post # 6
606 posts
Busy bee

View original reply
Giblets:  Sometimes happy things ease the hard times. I personally try to honour the dead by living to the fullest, by showing I am grateful for their contributions to my life by going ahead and remembering them in all I do.

I’m not much of a griever, I think…..they wouldn’t want me to stop the life they gave us because after all if his grandma hadn’t raised the parent of your BFs that raised him to be the man he is today…your engagement wouldn’t even be a reality. 

Do it when you’d plan to. I think she’d be happy to see it, finally happen. She’ll be watching that moment with pride. 

I am so sorry for your loss! Don’t forget to have a spot for her at your wedding. 🙂 

Post # 7
900 posts
Busy bee

Life is for the living. So long as he didn’t pop the question at the furneral, you’re fine

Post # 9
9522 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

By and large I agree with pp’s who say don’t wait,  but I think  I would just check in, as it were,   with grandfather( if there is one) and Future Mother-In-Law or Future Father-In-Law whoever’s  parent it was , just to see if they seem receptive. You don’t want sad or negative responses when you  announce .

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