Post # 1
I am a waiting bee and basically, stalking the boards has brought about some curiousity/random thoughts! Recently, my sister and I were talking to our dad about how much he thought was appropriate to spend on an engagement ring. For perspective- my parents have a lot of money and my dad works VERY hard. They have never been frivolous and he has always been an advocate for paying cash.
He said he thought $4,000 was a good maximum. His reasoning was that it’s just not necessary to spend an exorbitant amount of money on a ring.
I have a few options designed for my boyfriend to choose from that range from $4,200-$5,600 (pre-tax). Without knowing his budget, I came up with these and personally feel like they encompass all of my “dream ring” attributes. Boyfriend later told me when I asked if they were too expensive that he was “getting off easy” because he had the figure of $6,000 in his head.
The stones I like are between 1.67-1.77 carats. If SO had an infinite budget, I may want something between 2-2.5 carats, but honestly, I don’t know that I would want him to spend more than $6,000 even if he could afford $6 million ring. When designing the rings, I didn’t hold back at all and am so excited about the specs/quality/carat weight, so didn’t “have to compromise”.
All this to ask, what do you all feel is an appropriate engagement ring budget? How does this correlate with what you did/could afford to actually spend?
I’m not asking this for approval on my SO’s budget-Really, I am just curious! I know some people will comment things like, “An appropriate budget is what you can afford!”, but that’s not what I’m asking.
Post # 2
- Wedding: December 2020 - City, State
We didn’t really have a budget when I designed my ring; I just knew that I didn’t want the inflated cost of a diamond and that a moissanite was perfectly beautiful to me. We could have afforded to have a $10K ring for instance, but I’m pretty frugal and a super sucker for deals!
We ended up spending $600 for the ring I designed, and didn’t hold back on the metal (platinum) or the size. I got an oval moissy that’s about 1.4 carats equivalent, and it wouldn’t have costed that much extra for a larger one, but I didn’t want the stone to be too overwhelming for my small hands.
If moissy rings were more expensive though, I think my budget would have still been capped at $2000, since to me it’s just a ring. My parents have a happy marriage and don’t even wear wedding bands anymore. Plus, I’m clumsy!
Post # 3
- Wedding: October 2019 - City, State
catqueen92 : that’s a very hard question since it is SO variable, there’s no formula since the sensitivities to the equation are so personal. Given what you’ve described of your situation, your budget sounds very reasonable. I aimed for a budget that would make my frugal / diamond non-believer FH the least stressed out possible while still creating a ring that I love and will cherish for a long time.
In other news….WHERE are you finding these 1.7 carat stones & settings that cost <$6k altogether!?
Post # 4
catqueen92 : I’m pretty shocked that you’re finding diamonds of that size for uner $6K, what kind of specs do they have?
Mine is a plain diamond solitaire, so the setting was only a few hundred dollars but the stone itself was I think around $9K. It’s 1.43 ct, my husband went for quality over size.
I wasn’t involved in picking the budget or the ring so I don’t know where he came up with the #. He paid cash, so I assume that had something to do with it, as in how much he was able to save in the timeframe he had in mind.
Post # 5
It is all up to how much he wants to spend and can afford. We didn’t really have a budget but we just knew we didn’t want to be in debt over a ring or have to make payments on it. My hubby went for quality over quantity and paid cash and it was around 9K in total for my custom solitaire engagement ring and wedding band with diamonds. My set has a lot of metal so that drove the price up a bit.
Post # 6
- Wedding: June 2017 - A vineyard
There isn’t really an appropriate budget to spend honestly. What you can spend is definitely not what my husband could spend. And what my husband spent, 2k basically on my setting(heirloom stone, and that 2k was a stretch for him) is too much for someone else. And I definitely do not advise anyone go into debt for a ring either.
But if we had more money I would’ve probably been looking at about 4k for simple platinum setting and a well cut parti sapphire, which is my personal dream engagement ring 🙂 if any of that helps 🙂
Post # 7
Budget is very personal, so it’s hard to ask a group of internet strangers.
I think that the most important factor is making sure that your SO is not putting this on a CC and can afford it by paying cash. I wouldn’t ever want my SO to go into debt over the ring.
When we were talking about engagement and rings, we set up a budget that he was comfortable with paying cash and I worked within those perimeters.
Post # 8
It varies, and that’s okay. What we spent was under half a week’s income at the time. My then bf had figured on a carat because that seemed the norm in Wisconsin, where he used to live. I wanted well under that, personal preference, so we ended up spending half of his budget. 🙂
My standard for affordable means not having to sacrifice anything, paying in cash, and not having it impact any other plans such as vacations or home down payments. But for some people, preferences dictate a larger ring, and it may take special saving and budgeting. That’s fine too! It’s rather sweet in fact, as long as it’s reasonable.
Post # 9
My SO set the budget and I didn’t really know what it was exactly. However, once we started looking and I started to like things, it was pretty clear to me the price range of what I was looking at and he let me know it was in the budget. To be honest it was way more than I thought it would be, but I also didn’t feel it was right to tell him to spend less. He does well and this was not going to impact his lifestyle at all. And honestly, I loved what was in the price range, but I would have been fine with a smaller budget, too. I didn’t tell him a particular price and he didn’t limit me to a price. He knew what I liked and he knew his own budget so he did all the choosing to get me what I wanted. He wanted a higher color and clarity (while I could have gone down a bit and been happy) and he chose the best cut possible, so that dictated the size – he could have gotten a bigger, less quality diamond but I am SO HAPPY he didn’t. He also went with a higher priced designer for the band and it is truly lovely.
Post # 10
catqueen92 : I know its boring, but I truly feel like it IS different for everyone, and based on what you can afford AND what your priorities are. Some people want to save for a while to get a ring and others want to be able to afford it on their weekly budget… to each their own.
However, if we are talking celebrities and billionaires, I think anything over $250k is too much!
Post # 11
catqueen92 : honestly I think people spend way too much on their rings. They try to be bigger, blingier and more stunning than the last person (while still loving the look, hopefully!) They freak out if someone has something similar. They worry that it’s proportionally too big or small for their finger size. When I was a kid, a 1 carat ring was unheard of! Now it remains like the norm to be there or higher, at least on the bee.
All this to say that I’m a cheap person who thinks smaller is better (those big rings would drive me up the wall) and prefers metalwork to diamonds. If my husband had spent $2000 on a ring, I’d be questioning his judgment (and trust me, I’ve seen plenty of expensive rings to drool over, I’m not blind). I think he spent around $800 and I have a custom made ring – silver, birthstone, diamond sidestones that are almost chips. A jeweler sort of sneered at it but no one else has to my face.
For me, my appropriate budget limit is probably $2000 knowing that my taste isn’t everyone’s. I do believe that if people spent less, we’d see prices drop too.
Post # 12
My fiancé and I both don’t have a lot of money, so $1500 was the absolute max my fiancé could afford to spend on my ring, and it ended up being about $1400.
If we had more money, I’d say $5000 would be the absolute maximum I’d want him to spend. If we had that much money at our disposal, I can think of so many other better things to spend it on than a ring. Just my personal viewpoint!
Post # 13
eminthedistrict : Yes, of course it is so variable! That’s why I am interested to see everyone’s individual thoughts/preferences!
futuremrs2020 : All of the diamonds I’ve picked are lab created from Brilliant Earth. The specs are J color, Ideal cut, VS2 or VS1 Clarity
I am set on a Rose Gold band and after much research I found that I reaslly loved a J stone!
Post # 14
- Wedding: May 2019 - Green Bay, WI
My fiancé’s budget was also $6000. His brother’s was the same. One of their best friends was also $6000. One of them started that trend and the others weren’t to be out-done I guess.
He chose my center stone, the setting, and the wedding band all in one day and it came to just around $6000 after tax, which was pretty good since he wasn’t estimating the wedding band into the initial budget.
For reference mine’s 14K rose gold with a 1.31 carat center stone and .26 carats of side stones.
Center stone color is “I” and looks really nice in the rose gold setting.
Center stone clarity is an eye-clean “I1” so he saved some money and got lucky there.
Post # 15
Y’all- I know that what someone can and will spend varies from person to person. The question was what do YOU think is appropriate. I’m asking about personal opinion here because why not! I stated and am well aware that what can be spent varies from person to person. I’m also not basing anything in my own life off of the opinions in this thread.