April 2019 POAS

posted 2 years ago in TTC
Post # 242
Member
229 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

so I’m out.. AF just showed up…on to cycle 9 🙁 how do you keep being hopeful?

Post # 243
Member
7098 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

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mysterygal101 :  When I hit cycle 9 our first time TTC, I was done being hopeful.  I had just defended my Master’s thesis, had edits to do… and since I spent so much time worrying about my thesis and TTC, I decided to just be kind to myself.  That cycle, I really focused on self-care.  I started weekly acupuncture right away, going into it with the idea that I’ll try it for 3 cycles, and if it doesn’t work, I’ll stop.  I started doing about 30 minutes of yoga every other evening.  I made sure to treat myself for my birthday, and took my husband and stepson to a nearby state park… where we spontaneously joined the last white water rafting tour for the day… then got stuck on the river in the middle of a rainstorm!  We laughed as we ate dinner at a nearby restaurant in soaking wet clothes.  I took my SIL to a Painting with a Twist, and stopped caring about watching what I had to drink.  I had lunch with coworkers and friends… all while finishing the edits of my thesis.  I even took myself out to a movie one day.

I lost hope and focused on myself.  I decided to make an appointment with a fertility specialist the next cycle, while my husband’s doctor denied him a semen analysis.

I refused to test. I was done seeing stark white tests.  But I was still charting.  

I got my BFP on cycle 9…  it was a tough road for us too.  My husband was on medication for his anxiety, and he was constantly switching meds or weaning off of them…

I hope cycle 9 is your lucky one <3  I’m so sorry you’re going through this… I wouldn’t wish this experience on my worst enemy.

Post # 244
Member
99 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

So I had a squinter today! I was bored at home and thought why not test just to see, and it was the biggest surprise! I’m testing again on Friday to confirm and I’ll tell my husband then (he would be absolutely gutted if I told him and then Friday was negative). Im definitely in shock, but so grateful to have this board! 

Post # 245
Member
7098 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

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cyprusbride18 :  FX it’s darker!!! Congratulations!!

Post # 246
Member
193 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

well the spotting i had yesterday picked up and its now red. i’m gutted and bitter about it. I’ve been having 35+ cycles since having my last girl and this month i didnt even make it to 28, and according to my last day of ewcm im only 8 dpo. today is our anniversary, this was our last cycle trying for at least a year, maybe ever. i guess this is goodbye for now ladies.

Post # 247
Member
7098 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

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habzrule :  I’m so sorry, dear… You’ve had such a tough road.  I hope you’re back to trying when you’re able to again, if that’s what you want.  Thinking of you <3 

Post # 248
Member
141 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2017

AF is here. I’ll be rolling over. 

Post # 250
Member
105 posts
Blushing bee

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hopfenn :  thanks!! I am baffled. My tests are now darker than the control line. But I bled for 5 days of what was DEFINITELY more than spotting. I am still spotting on and off which is unusual for after my period so I’m even more confused. I did get in for hcg draw and ultrasound Monday. Tubes and ovaries were clear. They didn’t see anything on ultrasound but it would be too early either way. I’m waiting at the lab for my second hcg draw now, so hopefully I’ll have some answers by tonight/tomorrow. 

Post # 251
Member
1956 posts
Buzzing bee

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snowflake1234 :  Wow crazy! I didn’t use an FRER to see what that looked like, but I’m pretty sure mine wouldn’t have been that dark. My cheapies were very faint. How many dpo are you now? Fingers crossed your hcg is doubling normally and that the bleeding was just some weird fluke!

Editing to add: My first loss was a miscarriage at 5w4d (maybe still considered a chemical) and I tested until 21dpo and my tests NEVER got that dark!

Post # 252
Member
99 posts
Worker bee

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mysterygal101 :  I’m on cycle 9 too but I only just recently joined these boards at the 6th month mark and wished I had before because of all the awesome support here. But now that I’m at the ninth month, I just stopped caring so much about TTC. I’m so OVER the charting, the opks, the this, the that. So I’m just not doing it. I’ll have sex when I want, and when I don’t, I won’t. I’m putting too much pressure on myself and my spouse. Also, I tell myself each cycle “this is the one!!” Well it hasn’t been the one for 8 cycles now so I’ve given up on that idea too. I get too excited to test so now I just have to change my mindset.

Not to say I’m going to be negative and give up, but I’m giving up the part that make this not fun anymore and I’m trying to be more realistic. I started to check out the websites to a few fertility places around my city just to get some more information, awareness and possibly a mini mental preparation? I checked to see If they were in network and I checked out our insurance coverages for infertility. I guess I’m thinking ahead to the next step. It would be great to get a bfp within the next three months so we won’t have to go that route, but I have accepted that if that’s what it takes, then so be it. I want a baby so badly that I’ve realized I’m starting to lose myself in this process. I’m so thankful for my therapist since she’s the only live person I can vent to besides one of my buddies. It took her 12 months to conceive her son so sometimes I chat with her about it.

Just like 

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SeaOfLove said, I’m about to start really committing myself to just myself and my family and non-TTC things. With the holiday coming up, I’ll get to spend more time with them. I’m going to book us a cruise this month since I kept putting it off since last summer due to the idea of thinking I would have been pregnant by now. I have literally stopped/altered my future and everyday life plans because of TTC and that’s all about to come to an end. I want to go back to being adventurous and spontaneous. I owe that to myself and to my spouse.

Post # 253
Member
7098 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

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mommadreams :  I think that was my big turnaround… Not being hopeful, but instead being realistic, like, “Okay, now it’s time to think of what’s next and not worry so much about the next few months.”  I hope cycle 9 is your lucky one, as well <3

Post # 254
Member
166 posts
Blushing bee

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sankwa :  I’ll be rolling over to the May board. After 8 days of flashing smiley digital tests and low lh strip tests, I finally got my peak on both today, cycle day 25. New test date will be 2nd May. 🙂

Post # 255
Member
7098 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

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sankwa :  @tessa36 and I made a pact to POAS on Sunday, the 21st.  You can move me, if you want. lol

Pact is void if AF shows or either of us have blaring symptoms.

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