(Closed) Aquaintance told BM she was sad she isn't being invited to wedding..

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
2297 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

so let her be sad! it’s fine – you haven’t been rude in any way, and she’s an adult, she should realise that there are limitations to guest lists. 

as long as you’re not discussing your wedding in front of her, or giving her false hope that she’d be invited (asking for help stuffing invites or something) you haven’t done anything out of line. 

if she ever brings it up to you, you can simply let her know that you would have loved to include everyone but budget and space didn’t allow. thank her for her good wishes, and that’s it. 

don’t beat yourself up over it!

Post # 4
Member
934 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

@peonyinlove:  +1 – I don’t need to say anymore, this is perfect advice!

Post # 5
Member
7685 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@HeLovesDogs:  Stick to your original decision! I’m sure once you go through school, work, neighbours etc. there are lots of “acquaitances” – people you see occasionally (and might be Facebook friends) but aren’t close enough that must be there at your wedding. Let this girl get a little sad. She’ll get over it.

Besides, if anyone (especially her) gets a late invite, they’ll know it’s a B list invite.

Post # 6
Member
839 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

@HeLovesDogs:  You don’t need to invite her, but if it were me I’d ask my Bridesmaid or Best Man to casually tell her that it’s a very small wedding. She might not know that and think that you’re not inviting her because you don’t like her. 

Post # 7
Hostess
7561 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2013

Don’t be swayed! At first it’s just one person…but how many other aquaintances were left out? Seriously though, not everyone can come and she should understand that. 

Post # 8
Member
927 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Don’t feel bad, seriously. You didn’t do anything wrong, and if she ever mentions it to you just say you had a small wedding.

Post # 9
Member
9916 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

I don’t think your bridesmaid should have told you that.  Someone told me the other day that this random guy my fiance knows was upset that he wasn’t invited, and I chose not to tell my fiance.  What good would it do?  We can’t add more people.  It would just make my fiance feel like a douche.

Post # 10
Member
9139 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

@HeLovesDogs:  I will tell you as “that acquaintance” for many brides, I am disappointed when I don’t get invited but I try not to take it personally.  I remind myself they are probably having a small wedding and there just isn’t enough room for everybody they know.  So, let the acquaintance be sad.  She isn’t really your friend anyway.  It will work out one of two ways: 1) she will get over it and you will have the same acquaintance-type relationship with her; or 2) she will hold a grudge and won’t want any more contact with you.  But if you only consider her an acquaintance, then I’m guessing you really won’t be upset about it for very long.

Post # 11
Member
46590 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Don’t let her make this your prolem. If she and the Bridesmaid or Best Man are close it is only natural that she would share her feelings with the Bridesmaid or Best Man. I don’t think the Bridesmaid or Best Man needed to communicate that information to you.

Everyone has to draw the line somewhere on their guestlist.

Post # 12
Member
1022 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@HeLovesDogs:  let her be sad. you made an invite list, don’t be guilt tripped into changing it

Post # 14
Member
1281 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@HeLovesDogs:  

No joke, an aquaintance of FI’s ran in to FI’s brother right as we were sending the invites out…he said to him “where’s my invite?”  After talking it over and feeling bad, we decided to send him an invite along with everyone else.  You know what happened?  He declined.

Moral of the story is, there are always going to be people who take an “ego hit” when they don’t get invited to a wedding, and it’s not always linked with their desire to actually go to the wedding.  

Post # 15
Member
6741 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2014

If I were in your shoes, I would do a post-wedding “going out celebration” type thing – something where you don’t have to pay for anyone but yourselves – just for drinks or something, not even dinner – to celebrate with those you couldn’t invite due to budget reasons (you don’t have to word it this way). 

Post # 16
Member
1193 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

@paula1248:  I agree with you but I will add. I was not offended at all when an acquaintance invited me to her wedding at the very last minute, Like the week of (maybe 2 weeks out). i guess i was C or D list I never even received a paper invite(she emailed me the PDF) lol. I had a great time as I was we’ll aware that while we chat and keep up with each other that we’re just acquantices. 

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