Post # 1
Hi Bees! I lurked for a few months before signing up, and boy do I need your help!
I live in Calgary (Alberta, Canada) but am planning our wedding in Toronto (Ontario, Canada) where our families and friends are. We’re probably going for October in 2016 or 2017 at LATEST.
Postage in Canada is stupidly expensive – $1.00 for single stamps or $0.85 in bulk. Though we haven’t finalised our guestlist yet, we’re probably inviting 75 people at most, so we’ll most likely send out between 30 and 50 Save the Dates, invitations and RRSP cards (which include postage?). Our budget is $15000 firm. I’d rather put the $85.00 (minimum!) we’d spend on stamps toward nice things for our guests. Another twist: Canada is slowly phasing out door-to-door mail delivery, replacing it with community mailboxes. So people might not even get mail delivered to their door when we start sending out paper.
As an alternative to sending out invitations for the reasons outlined above, do you think creating a website for our wedding and sending STDs/invitations by e-mail is acceptable? We might just print materials for our grandparents and his mom.
Thanks for reading my War and Peace of an etiquette question!
Post # 2
I did all electronic STDs and RSVPS with paper invites. It was the most practical choice because we lived in a different country than our guests. Still, no one seemed to have a problem with it.
I do think it will kind of set the tone for your wedding. People will assume it’s a bit more casual since you’re going a more modern way.
Post # 3
Thanks for sharing your experience, AlwaysSunny
I agree that it will set the tone ($15000 doesn’t make for a high-falutin’ affair anyways ;)) but I’m worried some guests would be put off by it. Knowing someone out there mixed it up a little without ruffling feathers is encouraging!
Post # 4
- Wedding: Hawksnest Cove Beach St John USVI
…_..___…_._._____.._beep: I think having the paper for the older and the people that will save the paper invitations will make it fine. We didn’t go 100 percent digital, but we did for RSVPs. We said call or RSVP online. The funny thing is my parents even asked me why I bothered to mail their invite since they live an hour away and I see them pretty often. They said I should have saved the money and hand delivered it.
Post # 5
I don’t think the changes to Canada Post delivery should have a serious impact on whether or not you send out invitations. Even though they’re phasing out door-to-door, people still go and pick up their mail, maybe not daily anymore, but at least weekly.
While I like receiving invitations, there are very few that I actually keep in my memory box. It is just paper that people throw out, so I see where you’re coming from. I’m not a fan of the digital invitation, but that’s because (IMHO) its a little less personal and as a PP noted, it comes off as less formal.
That being said, I think if you’re going to do digital invites, do a wedding website to go along with it and hyperlink the digital invitation to the website, so when they click on it, it automatically opens your wedding website in another window.
Post # 6
Invitations are about more than notifying people of dates and times. I’m sad that they’re being replaced. You see so much of the personality of the couple in them and they’re probably one of the longest surviving mementos of the event. I recently had a relative pass away and he had a folder with alllllll of our paper mementos…8th grade graduation, high school graduation invitation and program, wedding invitations, baby announcements and it was really nice to see them all together, feel the paper, remember agonizing over choosing just the right pen to address the envelopes. You miss all that with digital files.
Post # 7
…_..___…_._._____.._beep: I know people who have had issues using paperless post and other digital invitation suites. Friends of ours did e-vites and a lot of people didn’t get them, they ended up in spam filters or sent to incorrect email addresses. If you’re going to use them, I think you need to be sure that you contact each guest personally and ask for their preferred email address so you don’t accidentally use one that they never check. I have 3 (work, personal, and junk mail personal – the junk one used to be my primary though and I never check it anymore. Friends from HS who don’t email often would probably still use that one!)
I feel you on the cost of mail in Canada – I’m in Toronto. The rate hike happened right after we sent out invites. I went on a mad hunt for the p stamps before the hike happened and thankfully got quite a stash so I saved us almost 20cents an invite.
Post # 8
In my opinion, STDs would be fine to send through email but not formal invitations.
Post # 9
- Wedding: May 2015 - Walnut Hill Bed & Breakfast
Save the dates absolultely can be electronic. You really only need to send those to your VIPs and people who are out of town. I’d stick to paper invites… but online RSVPs are pretty common now.
Post # 10
We used Glosite (digital invites that open up onto wedding website). Can’t rate it highly enough. You can even customise the site so that different people see different things – really useful for when you’re inviting some people to ceremony and wedding breakfast, and some only to reception. It also told you when people had viewed the email and clicked on the link so no issuea with not knowing if people received it.
Our guests really appreciated having all the info in one place (especially having things like hyperlinks to hotel deals etc.) and RSVPing online as I know my friends would definitely not appreciate having to post RSVP cards. We got a lot of good feedback on the site.
I definitely agree it sets the tone of the wedding. Ours is quite informal and a website is very “us” so it makes sense. However my parents did want to send traditional paper invites to some relatives and I was happy to leave this up to them to do.
The only downside of doing the online invites is I don’t have everyone’a postal addresses and I will need to get hold of these to send thank you notes after the wedding, as I feel these are still more appropriate to send physically.
Post # 11
…_..___…_._._____.._beep: Personally I would just do all paper, but as a compromise, maybe you could send the STDs by email, and then the actual invitations properly by post (also, you don’t need to put stamps on RSVP cards; we did, but it isn’t a necessity, in fact, I’m sure I read somewhere that it’s considered rude strictly speaking). Assuming that the majority of people you are inviting are couples, with a few single people (eg 45 invitations), I make that $38.25 for postage, which is hardly breaking the bank.
The main issues I have with electronic invitations are them getting lost/not getting through to people (eg being overlooked or filtered trough to the spam/junk folder; I’ve had several important emails do this and only knew because I was waiting for them and so checked my junk folder), and people assuming it’s a casual event; which is fine if it will be, not so great if it isn’t. I also would find it much less personal as a guest, and like less effort had been made; and given that guests are taking time to attend and spending money on travel, accommodation and gifts, I do have a bit of an issue with that.
Post # 12
I live in the South in the USA, and email invites wouldn’t fly here. Everyone is still very traditional, and my grandma doesn’t have a computer anyway. I’ve had people send STDs through email but never the actual invitation. I’ve also had plenty of folks let me RSVP through their wedding website, but I’ve had problems with it going through.
However, if you get the sense that your guests would be more open to emailed invites, just make sure they know through word of mouth to expect it, and you should be fine.
Post # 13
This is my view as well. Ok for the STDs, but not the invitations.