(Closed) Are any Bees protective/defensive about their wedding date?

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Would you be upset if various couples booked their wedding within days of your wedding?
    Yes! Don't steal my thunder! : (50 votes)
    53 %
    Nope : (45 votes)
    47 %
  • Post # 3
    1415 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 2011

    Yikes, your date is the same as mine! So far it’s pretty open–I have a good friend getting married 3 weeks before me but I don’t think we’ll have many common guests. Other than that, I don’t have anyone getting married close to me. November is supposed to be the least popular month or one of them!

    Post # 4
    7609 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper

    To be honest, it would piss me off if someone swooped in and went right before me!  And I know, I know, we “only get one day” and should just “focus on the fact that you’re marrying the man you love” and whatnot, but I’d still feel grumpy about it if it happened to me.

    Post # 5
    6892 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: March 2012

    If we’re being totally honest? Yes, I would. I’m not going to sit here and spout off about “stealing your thunder isn’t real.” It isn’t thunder stealing, but it IS putting an unnecessary strain on mutual friends and it’s making EVERYONE’S lives more hectic. I’m really glad neither mine nor FI’s siblings are engaged.

    Post # 6
    4046 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    if you have a full time job during the week, i would think the weekends leading up to your wedding to be precious and busy! it would be really hard to attend another wedding and still be thinkign about all the last mineute things you have to do for yur wedding. i cant believe all these friends would schedule them so closely.

    i would probably be more sad than anything else, because it does take Away from all the weddings to have them so close, and inevitably people will compare all the options.

    Post # 7
    525 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    I’m actually IN a friends wedding the week before my own and my cousin is getting married 2 weeks before me on top of that.  But it doesn’t bother me any.

    Now, I hope my friend doesn’t mind because she had her date set first.  But we wanted to get married on our 5 year anniversary, which just so happens to fall on a Saturday this year, and happens to be the week after her.  I can’t change my anniversary date. I hope she doesn’t feel like I’m raining on her perade.  But there won’t be too many mutual friends between us. And the mutual friends I have talked to about it are just excited to have open bar two weekends in a row.

    My date was set before said cousin picked hers, so if it doesn’t bother her, it doesn’t bother me.

    As far as people affording it, I hope they come gift or no gift.  I just want people to celebrate my FI’s and my love and commitment to each other.

    Post # 8
    5657 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: February 2012

    If someone in my immediate family or a close friend knowingly chose a date just a couple weeks before/after mine, I’d be upset. I would just grumble to myself or perhaps online about it though lol.

    Post # 10
    7609 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper

    @80sbee:  It sucks, because October is fairly popular for weddings (in my area anyway) and November is getting more popular because you can score some better prices.  But vent away, you’re safe on here!  If you feel like they’re stealing your wedding ideas, maybe don’t tell them much more about your details! 

    Post # 11
    1587 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: January 2013

    I am to an extent. Fiance and I are getting married in Mexico and I found out thy his cousin was planning onproposing to his gfat after our ceremony… On the same daysad our wedding. Now I’m not normally demanding or rude but I flat out said no… And to be quite honest I saidthat if he asked her at all during the week we are there then I would be very upset. Anytime before ad after would be fine but the way I see it is if I plan a week long of wedding events while we are there… Then that’s my time.

    Post # 12
    11272 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: April 2012

    i can understand how upsetting this would be but don’t let it ruin your day.  at least they aren’t sharing your same day.  financially it is a lot for someone to be invited to 4 weddings in 6 weeks but it wouldn’t deter me from attending all of them.  just don’t expect a generous gift from them.


    @Pappy8:  that is not nice.  talk about stealing thunder.  can he not wait to propose the next day on the beach or something?  why would he choose to do that and take your spotlight?  maybe you Fiance could talk to him and tell him that it wouldn’t be a very romantic proposal; doing it at someone else’s wedding. kind of lame actually.

    Post # 13
    111 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    It’s not selfish on your part at all!  You should be proud & excited for this big day in your life!! 

    You scheduled first & others are rude to cross to closely to your date for all the valid reasons you mentioned.

    I personally would have nicely brought it up as soon as their date was mentioned with your valid concerns.  I think people would be shocked how often people unintentionally do things & will gladly make changes. 


    Post # 14
    2410 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    I wouldn’t care about the dates, but I would be seriously pissed if they were stealing my ideas! I don’t know if it makes you feel better but my husband and I got married the weekend after one of his closest childhood friends. We had a 40% guest overlap and everyone attended, had a blast and loved both weddings. It was so great having back to back celebrations that two other couples from the same group are engaged now and they are planning to do it back to back too!

    I think it will be fine, and all your guests will come and have a great time. But as for your brothers Fiance and the idea stealing, that has to stop. It is awful.

    Post # 15
    1587 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: January 2013

    @mypinkshoes:  hey, i completely agree, lucky for us… they actually got engaged this christmas and are getting married this august because a baby is on the way… We are in the clear! 

    Post # 16
    361 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: November 2012

    So, I am one of those people who got engaged after my brother but decided to schedule my wedding in the same year as his.  I felt strongly that I did not want to be engaged 2 years, and I also wanted a Fall/Winter wedding. So his wedding is in June, and mine is in November. I know I wouldn’t care if someone’s wedding was near mine because every celebration feels special, but I do feel bad that HE feels bad…maybe you could talk to these couples just to clear the air? 

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