(Closed) Are any of y’all registering – if so where?

posted 7 years ago in 40 Something
Post # 3
Member
1096 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

You do not need to register. If I were you I’d create a wedding website and on it state that you will not be registering, in lieu of gifts you will be accepting donations to the American Cancer Society, I would also choose another charity close to your heart. If you don’t need anything there is no reason to register just because other people tell you to. If you choose to register you’ll end up with gifts you don’t need and the charities could miss out.

Post # 4
Member
3176 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Just an idea but my aunt got remarried at 39. She set up a honeymoon registry because she said she didn’t need more pots and pans and cookie sheets. When people asked where she was registered she told them that site and that she wasn’t registered at any stores.

I also like the idea of setting up a website if you want to go the donation route and saying in lieu of gifts please consider a donation or something like that.

Post # 5
Member
3576 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

And/or if you’re taking a honeymoon, perhaps register for a massage or something like that for both you and your groom.

Post # 6
Member
1398 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I am registering-just going the Wal-mart route, as I figure that is where most of my guests shop anyway. Honestly, I hope people just give us money as we are planning on buying a house and need every penny towards that.

Post # 7
Member
14495 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

You could register at a local seasonal shop for things like Christmas Ornaments or at Lowes or Home Depot.  Local wine shops sometimes will have hand written registries.  Art galleries will often have a type of registry also.

We are in the same boat.  His family is really pestering me to register but we really don’t need anything (and I am not really into registries other than a china patterns, and I already have my grandmothers set).  I talked about it with my mom and she talked me into registering for a few upgrades to things we already have, if only to appease his family.  Also, I registered for dishes at Pottery Barn.  I was going to get them anyway this week but now we will just wait a few months, ugh, and I hate the ugly dishes that the FH has.

Post # 8
Member
1701 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I registered at Macys for crystal and a couple other items and Crate and Barrel.  Most of it was upgrade from stuff that was really old.  It really wasn’t that much.  We really needed stuff from Lowes/Home Depot so my sister included that in the shower invites.  I have gotten invitations (anniversary or 2nd marriage, usually) that said things to the effect of, “the couple requests no gifts, but would be honored if you made a donation to the American Cancer Society, in honor of John’s late father, John Smith Sr.”

Post # 9
Member
699 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

We’re also thinking we’ll register for “upgrade” items (towels, sheets, maybe luggage?), probably at Macy’s since it’s everywhere.  Future Sister-In-Law works for Williams Sonoma so I may register there for a crazy expensive waffle maker and see if anyone is inspired. 😉  I know a lot of people believe that if you don’t register for gifts you’ll get cash, but my family does not play that way (they’re on the “cash gifts are vulgar” end of the spectrum), so registering is the only way to avoid getting stuff we don’t want at all. His family is from a more cash culture, so fingers crossed.

Post # 10
Member
100 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

We’re adding a “charity of choice” as well. My experience with friends who have done this is that some people love it, and others would prefer to buy a gift.  Especially for older relatives, you just can’t convince them not to buy gifts, and they’ll buy them whether you register or not, so I think you can encourage charitable donations in your honor but register for a few basic upgrades like towels and sheets, etc. Otherwise you’ll end up a with a bunch of random crystal, salad sets etc. that you neither need NOR want.

Post # 11
Member
6 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: November 2011

Thank you for this thread as I was debating just this very same thing. I have been bugged about registering so I am going to at Williams Sonoma. Everyone knows my FH loves to cook, so they will love it! Also was thinking of Target or Ikea

Post # 12
Member
159 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

@unixfairy: I just got married – we’re in our 40s, lived together for 3 years, and moved into a house a year ago.  My Fiance was dead set against it, but I talked him into registering at Crate and Barrel.  We registrered for very affordable things – and thank god we did – we got just about everything on our list.  I can’t imagine what we would have received if we did not.  People want to get you things you actually want, some are really uncomfortable w money – so I think WS is a great idea.

Post # 14
Member
699 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@unixfairy: That is hysterical! Your mom sounds awesome.

Post # 15
Member
1166 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

I had the same feeling – I got married at 47, we had a destination wedding, and guests were spending $$ on travel so I discouraged gift-giving. Still, many people insisted that they wanted to get us something.

On our wedding website, I had a page titled “In Lieu of Gifts.” It said that we had enough “stuff,” and to please consider donations in lieu of gifts. We chose two charities that were meaningful, and even built special donation pages on their websites with direct links.

Below all of that, we included a link to a honeymoon registry. We got tons of honeymoon registry gifts and a few charitable donations.

Here’s a link to our website page in case you want to see the wording:

http://www.daveandtriciaswedding.com/#?show=813488

 

Post # 16
Member
2442 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

We’re both in our 40’s and we don’t need anything so we’re not registering.  Honestly, we’re hoping for cash.  I think everyone knows buying us a toaster would be a waste.  

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