(Closed) Are any of you not close with your mothers?

posted 6 years ago in Family
Post # 46
Member
3277 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

SellyJo:  

I love well behaved kids when they can go back to their parents. I have no interest in pregancy, childbirth and having no freedom. My mom made motherhood look terrible and I took note of that. Working as a nanny in the past also cemented my decision. 

Post # 47
Member
11 posts
Newbee

I am new to the boards and found this post. After many years of trying to work on my relationship with my mother and constantly feeling to blame I have realized over the past 2-3 years it’s not me that needs to be worked on. My mother tends to have unrealistic expectations of me and when I fail to meet them 100% of the time it becomes very emotionally damaging. I know I will never be enough and she has made that very clear to me. So as of right now I am trying to figure out where to go from here…what to say or what not to say for that matter.

 

Like a pp said it’s nice to know it’s not just me. 

Post # 48
Member
1039 posts
Bumble bee

MrsC2015:  It’s good to know that I’m not on an island. I feel the same way about my mom. After years of multiple guilt trips, extreme snarkiness, passive aggressiveness and being overly judgemental for no good reason, I’m starting to see that I need t stop letting myself get hurt by her selfish comments and decisions. I feel awful saying it out loud but I amost feel like  I want to be a mother to my childrean when we have them that is everything my mother wasn’t to me. I just feel like everytime I try to repair or mend the relationship, she starts up about some new issue that has nothing to do with me and it somehow turns into me being a bad/selfish person.

Post # 49
Member
11 posts
Newbee

rittenhousenewbee:  Well after not talking for a few days my mother just called me last night for 15 seconds to say she is no longer going to attend the wedding or be a part of it in anyway and she is divorcing my father and hung up promptly after. I was upset but at the same time I can’t keep giving it my all and basing my life all around what she envisions. I am at a point that it’s my life. She apparently called my sister later saying she was upset I didn’t call her back apologizing. I even made a dress appointment for my wedding and haven’t even had the opportunity to tell her because of all this and wasn’t sure if I wanted her to go or go alone. Now I feel like there is no way I can have her there if there is going to be this type of manipulation. 

My fiancee and I want to start trying to have kids pretty soon after we get married and I want to be everything she wasn’t to me as well. I love my mother but I always felt like I had more on my plate to deal with than any child my age. 

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